Post # 1
Good morning Ladies,
I’m just looking for a little support. I’m 37+3 days and the baby is still breech. The baby has been stubbornly breech for several weeks. I’ve tried everything I can think of, including:
Chiropractic Webster Technique for 3 weeks
Crawling for extended periods, including scrubbing my floors
Cold on top of uterus/heating pad on pelvis
Talking to the baby
Nothing has worked even a little and I’m exhausted. My doctor, who I trust completely, will not deliver me vaginally, possibly because of the head size (the head has measured 3-4 weeks ahead, this is genetic, my husband’s family all has giant heads). And will not do a version due to the placement of my placenta. So the c-section will be scheduled in week 39 or 40 (I’ll find out today).
My DH and I decided that I should stop all activities and just relax in the last 2 weeks. I feel like a failure and that my body won’t do what it was meant to do. I’m completely embarrassed to tell people, and I dread the reactions. My rational side is grateful for modern medicine the option to c-section, but I just can’t get over feeling broken.
I’m just wondering if there are any others who have been in this situation and how they got through it. Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated!
Post # 3
@KH: Don’t feel bad, OP! The bottom line is your baby and your health. You are doing what’s best for both of you. That’s what you should focus on! Any way a baby comes into the world healthy is the right way. 🙂
Post # 4
I am sorry that you are going through this but do not feel like a failure!! It isn’t your fault and sometimes these things happen. I think you should be happy that they are able to tell that the baby is breech and know that the head may be too large anyway. I am in the same boat on this one but because the baby is in head down position, they want to try to deliver vaginally however they feel that his head may be too large and I am destined for a cesarean as well.
Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to and all we can hope for in the end is a healthy mom and baby!
Post # 5
My daughter turned four days before I gave birth. Don’t give up hope. Your baby knows what to do!
Post # 6
@KH: I didn’t have a c section but I know and get how it feels like you some how failed. My little boy decided to be premature and I feel cheated out of the last 2 months of pregnancy since he was 7 weeks early. I felt/feel like I failed pregnancy.
Honestly long as your baby is born healthy that is all that matters. In the end you will have a little one in your arms to love.
Post # 7
@KH: I’ve never had to deal with this, but I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT broken!! and please don’t be embarrassed to tell people that you are doing the safest thing for yourself and your baby!
Post # 8
Don’t feel bad! Your body is supposed to be growing a baby and it is doing that very well! It sucks that youv’e tried everything and are still going to need a c-section, but that’s why they have c-sections! It’s not the end of the world. And nothing to be embarrased about. My best friend delivered her first vaginally, but her second was breech, so she also had a c-section. It’s not fun. But at the end of the day, it’s what’s best for your baby. And I completely agree with your husband that at this point you should stop the acrobatics of trying to get the baby to turn and focus on getting yourself in the best place possible to have the baby. So relax, sleep (if you can), and finish up any little projects that will make life easier once baby is here.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
My FSIL went through this, she is quite tiny – slim, 5′ 2″…but her DH is a built guy and 6′ 4″. Her baby just ran out of room to turn basically is what they told her. Granted she kind of already knew, she’s a nurse. So to deliver safely they had to do a C-section. It all went very well and mom and baby were happy and healthy afterwards. Her son is always in the 90th percentile for height, he’s going to be a tall one just like his Dad. It’s not a failure, some things are out of our control, just focus on getting to meet your little one soon! No matter how he/she gets here it will be a great moment to get to meet your baby and that both of you get through the birth the best way possible.
Post # 10
I had a scheduled cesarean for medical reasons, which was a bit of a shock after planning a hypnobirth. I just forced myself to think about the positive – I was going to meet my baby! Delivering a healthy baby was a success, it didn’t matter how it happened. It really helped to put a positive spin on things and repeat it to myself when I was feeling down. I did (and you are doing!) what is best for me and baby. This was the right decision. Envision how incredible it will be to see that beautiful baby afterward. At that moment, it won’t matter how baby arrived.
I actually really enjoyed my cesarean experience. I was up walking as soon as the spinal tap wore off, and had minimal pain (aside from when I sneezed or laughed!) by the time I was home. I was cleared for life as normal 4 weeks pp, which is quite a bit quicker than many vaginal deliveries. My daughter was born screaming and incredibly healthy. She had a 9 and 9 on her apgars. I swear the second I heard her cry and saw that baby it was the happiest of my life. I didn’t care how she got here, but she was perfect, healthy, and mine. I have nothing but the fondest of memories about the whole experience. I really hope the same for you!
Post # 11
Do not feel like a failure. YOU ARE NOT! at all! There is no way of controlling what babies do in there. If your baby is comfortable in that position then, there is no changing baby’s mind. I agree with your DH, however, maybe just good old relaxing and no doing a thing at all might just do it. Again, honey, you are such a wonderful mother already. You gave it your all to help change the baby’s position. FX relaxing does the trick. *HUGS*
Post # 12
@KH: I have not had a C-Section but a close friend of mine had an emergency one. From what she has told me, while it was painful in the immediate days afterwards, her recovery was good. She was up and walking around later that day and had minimal pain as long as she took the medication in the beginning. I checked in with her a couple times about it and she said felt good. She had minimal scarring as well. Just remember that you cannot control your baby’s position and if a C-Section is the best way for baby to safely be brought into this world, then that is okay! You can do it!
Post # 13
@KH: Don’t feel bad! Growning a person is hard and sometimes those babies are just stubborn. My brothers and I were all delivered via c-section. *shrug* Sometimes that’s just how it works out. I’m nowhere near ready to have kids, but I have a sneaky suspition that I’ll have to have a c-section. My brothers, my husband, my BILs, and I were all 9+lb babies… the odds are just not in my favor.
Also, remember that many women used to die during child labor. So while our bodies are designed to give birth, I would argue that we aren’t really designed all that well for it. The last thing I would do is call you broken.
If you’re nervous aboug telling people, just make a joke out of it and blame your husband’s big head. I seriously doubt people are going to judge you.
Post # 14
@KH: This happened to one of my best friends and to my stepdaugther-in-law. In both of their cases, they were in labor and finally had to end up having C-sections, one under general anesthesia.
You are NOT a failure.
Your BODY has not failed you.
This is just how things sometimes end up happening. You had no control over this, and there was nothing you could possibly have done to prevent it.
I don’t know what the C-section rate is nationally now, but, many years ago, it was 37 percent. That reflects a significant number of women who have had to have C-sections.
I’ve also had friends who have desperately wanted to breastfeed and tried for weeks but it ultimately did not work. They were not failures either.
You will be a great mom. 🙂
Post # 15
@KH: oh honey. I didn’t have a section, but I had to be induced. And I feel like sometimes all the feel-good anti-intervention rhetoric surrounding birth, the cries of “our bodies were MADE to do this!” only serve to make us feel guilty and broken when shit like this happens.
You grew a baby! Your body is just fine. It’s difficult when a wrench is thrown in our plans for a “perfect” birth, but please don’t feel bad.
I was terrifically wrapped up in birth plans, and my best friend (mother of three) kind of brought me down to earth; she said the pregnancy and birth is such a small part of motherhood. It’s easy to focus on because it’s *now*, but it’s small.
I wish you the very best on your c section!
Post # 16
@KH: Definitely don’t feel bad! You are doing what is best for baby- that’s what being a parent is all about- you will be a great mom!!