Surprise BFP…Help!

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d tell your boss right away if you work with harmful chemicals.

Your husband’s reaction may surprise you.  I’d go ahead and tell him.  🙂

Post # 3
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Tell your boss now just in case there are extra precautions you can/need to take. 

The drinking recently is no big deal. You don’t share a blood supply yet with the baby so no worries. 

Tell your husband. He can help you wrap your head around it. 

Post # 4
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I wouldn’t worry about the drinking, lots of people have been in the same situation and their babies are fine. It’s super early so it’s not much more than an embryo at this point and babies are so well protected in there 🙂

Tell your boss right away. This is something that could harm the development and not something that us worth risking. 

Also, tell your husband right away! He might not have the reaction you think. 

Good luck and congrats!

Post # 5
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Congrats! Although this wasn’t 100% planned, I am sure your hubs will be excited, since children were something you both wanted (eventually!) My daughter wasn’t completely planned either, but it was probably better that we got pregnant as a bit of a surprise anyways!

I would definitely speak up to your boss/mentor about this, so that you don’t put you or baby at risk.

I think your DH will be ok. He must know that there was a risk of pregnancy with that one time he didn’t pull out… it can’t come as a super shock to him! Good luck, congrats, and we’re all here for any questions you have or support you need!

Post # 7
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Both of you had to have known this was a possibility, given the somewhat unrelieable methos of BC….I’d just hand him the stick and say there’s been a slight change in plans….

Post # 8
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I would probably sit him down, pour him a drink, and then tell him.

If you think he will worry about things like money, it might be a good idea to go through all of your financial papers first, and work out a tentative plan before you do this, so he doesn’t jump to conclusions about your financial problems.

You can sort the rest out later, one bridge at a time…

Post # 9
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Rachel631 has good advice for you, OP. If you know he’s going to have certain concerns (like cost) when he finds out, start getting paperwork together. Maybe make a budget, budget out what you can expect to pay for diapers/possibly formula/etc. after the baby is born, look into what your insurance covers for prenatal/delivery, etc. Will your bills and all still be manageable if you end up NOT working anytime in the near future (even with any student debt)? That’s something to bring up, too.

Consider whether you could manage working part-time (or from home) when you tell him. Just as someone else mentioned, the two of you were using a more-unreliable-than-others method (73-96% effectiveness) and didn’t follow up with some morning-after when you had an ‘oops.’ Your husband can’t be that upset, that surprised, or even angry with you for a reasonable risk in which he partook.

Post # 11
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

FutureMrsphD:  I’m a pretty firm believer of “you’re in this together” when it comes to this type of situation. You’re a little panicked (understandably) but there’s no reason you should have to wait and figure out how to break the news gently. I would just tell him the next time you see him.

FWIW, I ran into the next room yelling “I’M PREGNANT” so subtetly with this type of thing is not my strong suit.

Post # 12
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with AnonymousCupcake:  on being in this together! You aren’t alone, and your husband’s reaction may surprise you. There’s no reason to shoulder this alone when you have your partner to be in it with you. 

I also agree on telling your boss right away, and getting a doctor’s visit scheduled. I’d work with your doctor on whatever chemicals you are exposed to in your program to know what is and is not a concern. 

Don’t worry about the drinking. I drank until I got my positive. 

Most of all, congratulations!!!

Post # 13
Member
8592 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Dont worry about the drinking…I didn’t find out I was pregnant until 8 weeks along.  I was in Vegas at 5 weeks pregnant.   They just told me FAS is due to drinking throughout your entire pregnancy.   My baby is 4 days old and just fine. Good luck!

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