Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
Greetings, Bees! I was wondering if you could give me some ideas on how to surprise my FI. I have secretly invited his oldest childhood friend. They have known each other since they were babies but life caused them to drift apart in their 20s. The friend is coming from about 12 hours away and will be arriving the day of the wedding. My issue is, when should this surprise be revealed? I don’t really want to reveal his friend directly before the ceremony because I don’t want to take away from our moment and/or possibly overwhelm FI (he’s very emotional!). I thought about having the friend sit in the back, but we are having a small wedding so he might get noticed there. I could have the friend go where the FI will be during the morning of our wedding day but…I want to be there to see it too! Any other suggestions? Or will I just have to go with one of the options and deal with it? Thank you!
Post # 2
I would let the friend sit in the back and hope your FI is so caught up in the ceremony that he doesn’t notice. Then I’d have him surprise him at the reception.
Post # 3
In all honesty, even with it being a small wedding, if he were discreetly seated near the back (not on the aisle) odds are he wouldn’t be noticed until afterwards. Those few minutes end up being a bit of a blur – I had intended to try & spot specific people as I was walking down the aisle, but in the moment, it was all a blur! The emotions just get too taken over.
One thing you could do, if your venue allowed, is have him just watch from the wings somewhere and then have him meet you with a couple of glasses of bubbly when you come back up the aisle after your I Dos? We had drinks to toast with served to us right away and it was nice to have those few seconds to toast each other before the crowd swallowed us up.
Post # 4
rosegoldgirl: I don’t know your FI, but I don’t think doing it before would take away from your moment – nothing can do that. It may even make it more special for your FI to know that his friend is there. Also, if your FI does notice during the ceremony, then it really WILL take away from your moment. He’ll be trying to figure out how the friend got there, who invited him, etc.
It could even happen well before the wedding if his friend is able to arrive in time. That would give your FI time to “recover”.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
I say have a first look. Have a first look with FI first, then with photographer ready, tell him you have a surprise and bring out said friend that was hiding. that way you get pics of it all, too and you are there.
Post # 6
MrsTtoB: +1 I like this idea.
Post # 7
MrsTtoB: great idea! if you are doing a first look, I would go with this.
If not, I would ask him to keep out of sight until you get to the front of the church. Your FI’s eyes are guaranteed to be on you, while the friend slips into a seat at the back. FI will likely not take a single look at the back of the church until you walk up the aisle. Then your friend can step out into the aisle and surprise him.
Post # 8
rosegoldgirl: My FSIL actually just had this happen to her at her wedding. Her very best friend (who was supposed to be living in Ireland) surprised her. She came to the cermemony and sat somewhere in the middle. My FSIL did not notice her at all until the ceremony was over. FYI, this was also a very small and intimate wedding- 35 people were there.
Post # 9
maybe the time that people use for gift exchange, you can tell him bring his gift(friend) to him?
Post # 10
rosegoldgirl: I say the morning of the wedding – why can’t you be there too? I think there will be too much else going on at the wedding itself.
About a year ago there was a thread about a bride whose sister couldn’t make it (so she thought) but she surprised her few days before. There were lots of tears and I’m sure it was better not being on the wedding day. Aha, here’s the thread. http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/pictures-of-my-suprise-so-happy/#axzz37m55DSaZ
Post # 11
torchrunner: citysparkle: It’d be different for the groom though, wouldn’t it? As the bride, you’re walking up the aisle, looking at the groom, not facing your guests until the end of the ceremony. So it makes sense that you wouldn’t notice someone as you’re walking past.
The groom has time at the front to stand and face everyone, though, while he’s waiting for the bride to come in. It seems much more likely that he’d notice someone in the crowd, especially with a small wedding.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Hmm I must be the only one who thinks maybe this isn’t the best idea. Sorry OP. But your wedding day is already so special and emotional and wonderful and overwhelming – it doesn’t need this kind of surprise. I would think that telling him ahead of time, like a few weeks earlier, “Oh hey guess what I arranged!” would be better.
Personally I would want more than a couple seconds to wrap my brain around reconnecting with my childhood best friend, especially with all the other emotions and craziness and being the center of attention on my wedding day.
Post # 13
Maybe unveil the surprise guest the night before, so the guys can spend some time catching up.
Post # 14
Horseradish: I agree.
I think revealing this surprise at the end of the rehearsal would be very nice. Then your FI’s friend could sit next to you and your FI during the rehearsal dinner, and they could have some time to catch up with each other before the wedding.
Post # 15
Horseradish: Brielle: +1
I feel like the night before is the perfect time to “reveal” the friend because it’s still going to feel like a special wedding-related surprise, but it won’t be a distraction on the day of.
And/or are the men going to have a batchelor party? Maybe you could drop the friend off at the beginning of that? Or tell your FI that he should stop by your place to pick something up before going to the batch. party? Hmmm…
I think it’s so awesome that you planned this! :}
EDIT: Oh, oops – I just noticed that he’s arriving the day OF the wedding. In that case, I would def. try to unveil before the ceremony. I like the “first look” idea.