Post # 1
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
Advice needed. Ok, I will try to make this as short as possible. Basically, FI and I want to get married pretty much ASAP for tax purposes. We can’t quite afford my dream wedding/reception as of right now, we need like a year and half more to save up a bit. So we were tossing around the idea of having our friend, who is an officiant, do a quick little intimate ceremony with us over a weekend sometime. But then I got to thinking – we have an annual halloween party every year where all of our college friends and close family members come to our house for an epic house party. Then it dawned on me – why not surprise them with a short little wedding ceremony where we sign the paper work there, and then when we have enough money saved up we have the big reception I’ve always dreamed of?
Would it be better to tell the guests they will be coming to a Halloween wedding, or do you think it would be ok to surprise our friends with it? My FI and I could dress like a bride and groom and then when people ask if we are in costume we can say no! Suprise! We’re actually going to get married here today!
What do you think? Is this a tacky idea or is it kind of cute? Should we make it known that we’ll do a vow exchange or let it be a surprise? Or should we just go with the original plan and do something low key with just a few witnesses for now? I kind of like the idea that it will be at our home with all of our friends in costume.
Post # 3
@FutureDrAtkins: I think this is an awesome idea! The only hitch is that people might not know to go out of their way to be there. Maybe you should hint to people who rsvp no.
Post # 4
@FutureDrAtkins: I’d let my close family members know, and let other guests know that there will be a surprise. Even though it won’t be a wedding in the traditional sense, don’t be surprised that when you do plan the real deal, some people may consider it a vow renewal of sorts, especially if they were present for the Halloween ceremony.
Post # 5
@FutureDrAtkins: I would be so excited if I had friends who did this!! I would maybe let people know there will be a surprise.
Post # 6
@FutureDrAtkins: To be honest (this might not apply to how you feel), I would rather scale back my wedding dreams & get married for the first time on my actual wedding day. Anything else is essentially just a vow renewal & reception. I wouldn’t have been happy with that for sentimental reasons.
If I were a guest & had no idea that you guys were planning to get legally married before your set wedding date, then I would be super taken aback. Otherwise, if as a guest I already knew you were planning to legally wed before your dream vow renewal, then I would think this idea at the halloween party was a neat one.
Post # 7
I say go for it; sounds fun! If you’re planning to do a quickie ceremony anyway, why not have some fun with it at your party? I’m sure people at the party will think it’s hilarious/awesome/whatever. If they hate it or think it’s tacky well…tough crap. To each their own. You’re not asking people for presents, just their presence at a party they already planned on attending.
Like @likewoah said, if some people you really want there RSVP ‘no’ because they don’t know it’s coming, maybe it’d be worth telling them what’s going on. I’d also try to keep the ceremony really short, like five minutes or so, and do it earlier in the evening, a. because people will be less drunk and more accomodating earlier on and b. so they don’t get frustrated standing around watching a long, impromptu wedding.
Post # 8
Oh yeah, I didn’t read your post closely. If you’re planning on having a big wedding reception later, you shouldn’t have a public ceremony now.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I think there are a couple factors here:
1) You know your friends and family well enough, are you fairly certain that this is enough of an annual thing for them to change plans or do what they can to be there? If yes, then you are good there.
2) You also know your friends and family well enough to know if they will be tickled to see you legally married and would still be just as tickled to come to your big renewal/reception later! I know I would be… but I am laid back and understanding. Some people might react a bit more negatively than you would expect. But again if you feel like they’ll be just as happy, go for it!
3) How much do you love Halloween? Obviously you probably do because you have a big annual party, but still. Enough for it to be your official wedding date? The anniversary you celebrate? If yes, then you are good there!
4) I would try to keep it as much of a surprise as was possible because once people know there will be a surprise they won’t be able to help themselves but guess and bring it up and talk about it and its possible the black cat could be let out of the cauldron too early!
Otherwise I think it’s a fun idea, dressing up as a bride and groom! And your guests will know it’s not a “gift grab” because it’s a surprise so obviously you aren’t doing it to just have the presents/attention, and I think that works very well for your guests!
Post # 10
Sounds like your Halloween party is pretty big, so most of your friends and family that you would want to be there will be. I think it would be fun to have it as a surprise.
However, I would treat this as your wedding and not have a reception later. If I was at your surprise wedding and then a year later got an invitation to a reception I would be like “um, they’re already married…”
Post # 11
I love your idea! If I were at a party and the hosts had a surprise wedding I would be absolutely giddy. It kinda reminds me of April and Andy’s surprise wedding on Parks and Rec, which was adorable.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
I think that’s an awesome idea. Especially since it seems like it is so you (with the annual holloween party and everything. 🙂
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
Thanks everyone! I mainly want to have a bigger reception type deal for extended family members. I wouldn’t have a problem at all with telling them it will be a vowel renewel and then a reception. I want to do something classier for the cousins/out of town people/and my grandparents’ extended families.
I loved the Parks and Rec episode where April and Andy got married! I thought it was so cute!!
I’m definitely going to be telling people there will be a special surprise when they come. Last year I think we had over 50 friends show up, which was a great turn out. This year I’ll extend the invite to immediate family members and close family friends of my parents as well, I don’t think they’d mind partying with the younger crowd, and well if they don’t like it, then they can leave after we do our vows and sign the papers. I like the idea of doing that early on in the evening, before everyone gets too rowdy. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk it over with FI yet, but I think he’ll get a kick out of the idea. We *love* costume parties, we even have themed NYE parties every year, so I think this totally suits our style and since we are already planning the party and doing in our home, it will totally be within budget. Now I have an excuse to go ALL OUT on the Halloween decorations, like I’ve always wanted to do!
I think I would have some finger foods catered in and of course have a wedding cake. I have an awesome day of the dead cake topper already that will fit the theme perfectly!
I’m sure there are threads full of themed wedding ideas, but if anyone wants to throw suggestions on here for me I’d love to hear some 😀
At first I thought “bride of Frankenstein” but I still want to look gorgeous on my wedding day… so maybe instead I could do a *gasp* black wedding dress or deep purple, as this totally suits our style. I figured for FI he could get a tux with a sweet ass top hat… bc our cake topper looks like this:
Post # 14
Wow that’s an awesome idea! I can;t wait to hear more about it. There’s tons of gorgeous black wedding dresses !
Post # 15
I can’t wait to see pics.
Post # 16
@FutureDrAtkins: I would go one way or the other– either have a surprise Halloween wedding now, or a big reception later! I wouldn’t do both…