(Closed) Surprise Maid of Honor disappointment

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Honestly I don’t see the problem. You need to know what your role is, but I don’t think I’d necessarily think to announce it to the rest of my bridesmaids if there was a change in the roster or someone else’s role. It’s not something that has any impact on you either way. I’m sure she wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings or anything! She’s probably just going a bit crazy, like most brides 🙂

Post # 4
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@thunderberry:  +1 

I absolutely agree

Post # 5
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I dont think it would have been changed without your knowing intentionally. Perhaps just an oversight.

Post # 6
1162 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@oldmatron:  from anotehr perspective, she may have asked M to give a little speech becaus M may have pressred her (unwittingly is possible) or just because bride felt bad that M wasn’t given a special role, and M may have just assumed that meant she was Maid/Matron of Honor. You never know what’s going on within someone elses little world 😛

Post # 7
2895 posts
Sugar bee

Does it mean you won’t get to read your speech ? I hope it doesn’t. Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man it doesn’t matter that much, the bride chose you and these other girls because she felt you were important enough in her life to surround her on her big day. Get the microphone and read your beautiful speech. 🙂

Post # 8
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Um, OP, please don’t ‘get on the microphone’ if the bride has not specifically asked you to.  NOBODY should do this at a wedding (or any other event, for that matter…).

Post # 9
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@oldmatron:  I think you put the cart before the horse in assuming you would be asked and then over preparing.  I would turn the speach into a beautiful letter to give as part of her wedding present.

Post # 10
2888 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@rosiedee:  Agreed, even if it’s open mic nite at the rehersal dinner. A friend of mine did that, and her unofficial Maid/Matron of Honor gave a horrendous speech, saying that the bride might not say I Do.

@Polygon:  That’s a lovely idea – your card’s already written! Or OP, you can record it as a little video for them! 

Post # 11
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@oldmatron:  I love the idea of turning your speech into a gift/letter to the bride – I’m sure it will mean a lot to her.

Choosing bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor can be really emotional – not only for the bride. It’s easy to feel like your friendship has been ranked and compared to others. It would have been nice if the bride had given you and the other bridesmaids a heads-up on her decision, just in the spirit of open communication. But, her decision didn’t impact your role at all, so let it roll off your back and don’t worry about it. Life’s too short 🙂

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