Post # 1
10 years ago my parents bought a gown for a wedding I later called off. I kept the gown thinking someday I might wear it. Fast forward to present day with the man of my dreams. I tried on the old gown with my parents present, they loved it, thought it was a done deal, didn’t even insist I try on other dresses and I was too weak to speak up (though prior to the outing, I had…). I was overwhelmed and unsure having worn it for the first time in years, old feelings attached to it, etc. I told them I wanted to shop more and if I found something else, would pay for it or pay the difference, whatever they wanted; they were shocked I would consider anything else but said OK.
I bought a new dress but haven’t told them yet. Now they are suddenly coming to town tomorrow and I am battling whether to show them the new dress or not. Of course, they’ll see it eventually at the wedding, but what if they just hate, hate, hate it? Ugh. Not sure I want to know this early before the wedding!
What would you do?
Here’s the old (Oleg Cassini):
and here’s the new (Benjamin Roberts/Anjolique):
Post # 3
I think you should wear the second dress because you love it and it’s new and doesn’t have any old attachments. I also think your parents will understand if you explain it to them like that. They might be put off for a little bit but they love you and will understand and are sure to LOVE your new dress! It is so classy and elegant! Good luck chica, let us know what happens 🙂
Post # 4
I think your other options would give your mother a heart attack! lol Your gown is just BEAUTIFUL! And you deserve this as well as the man of your dreams! =)
I *know* its only a dress, but I cant imagine wearing a gown that was intended for a previous wedding that never took place. Just my 2cents.
Best of luck with your parents! xo
Post # 5
Bu be sure to play up how much YOU love it, how he old dress represented old feelings and a past that you dont want to bring into this new marriage. Post it now to sell and you can put the money towards the dress,
Post # 6
ohhhh I don’t think they’ll care once they see you in that baby! It’s gorgeoussss!
Post # 7
Unless you are expecting them to pay for the new dress then there is nothing to be worried about here. Just show them the new dress. I would think they would understand why you wouldn’t want to wear a dress that was attached to an old relationship. Also, to be honest, the old dress does look pretty dated.
Post # 8
Thanks, ladies! There’s no question I’m wearing the new dress but it is just a matter of when I break the news to my parents. Eep!
@Mrs.LilyLunaLove: By the way, I love your Lily of the Valley. 🙂 Have some growing on my porch. 🙂
Post # 9
The new dress is lovely! The old dress is… well…. 10 years ago. I say just tell them. It’s better to get it done and over with than to worry about it forever.
Post # 10
i would tell them, and then see if they’re interested in seeing it or not. your new gown is stunning, btw, and kudos to you for still fitting in to your other gown 10 years later…i’m about 50lb heavier than i was 10 years ago. altho i was too skinny then, lol.
Post # 11
@Moose1209: Thanks! Yep, it is dated for sure! 🙂 There was actually a time where I considered wearing the old dress, doing some sort of sage ritual or blessing to cleanse it, who knows! But, it just didn’t feel “me” anymore, and that is mostly why I continued to shop.
Post # 12
@Cornflakegirl: Thanks! They’re my favorite and smell sooooooo good!
Post # 13
the girl you were 10yrs ago is not the woman you are now – tell mom and dad and be proud of your beautiful gown
btw, can you alter the 1st dress, loose the tulle and maybe make it a RH or shower dress?
Post # 14
I personally would want a new dress for the new relationship. It wouldn’t feel right to wear the dress you bought for another man. A lot changes in 10 years, and I think your new dress is gorgeous and more flattering. I think they will understand when they see it.
Post # 15
I definitely think you need to tell them ahead of time. If they are going to have negative feelings about it, this will give them time to get over it.
I was a 3 dress bride. The first one I picked out with my mother (under pressure). She was REALLY disappointed when she found out I changed my mind. Ready to disown me when I changed it again–but when she saw my final dress, she agreed that it was perfect.
I am a very pragmatic person (you wouldn’t know it from the previous paragraph) but even I couldn’t wear the same dress.
Post # 16
@napabridekelsey: Thanks! I’m hoping that, too, that in seeing the new dress they’ll instantly forget the old one! Ever see the first Sex and the City movie where Carrie passes by her two dresses in the closet and says, “And just like that Vivien Westwood kicked my sweet little suit’s ass… .”? Here’s the link:
@cardus: Thanks! I like your idea to ask if they’d want to see it. And yes, I had gained some weight, too. 🙂 I could hardly breathe when they zipped me into it!
@eloping: Thank you, that is how I was feeling regarding girl 10 yrs. ago vs. woman I am now. Well said. It’s strange saying goodbye to something that so strongly, tangibly, represents a younger version of myself. And I love your idea of altering the first dress! 🙂