Surprise "No" RSVPs?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

My Godfather RSVP’d no! I was really surprised.

Post # 4
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My grandparents RSVP’d no because there might be bad weather (the lived 5 minutes away)

My best friend RSVP’d no with some excuse, but later found out she was lying. Funny thing was she told me earlier……weddings will really make you find out who your friends are. 

Post # 6
Member
4884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had several surprise no’s. We had a large wedding, and my DH has a HUGE family. I was irritated that they were all on the guest list to begin with, even though we never see or talk to them…but it’s just “how it’s done” in their family and everyone gets invited and they always attend. DH even cut his childhood friends from the list to acommodate his family and his current friends. Invites started rolling in, and I’d say probably 80% of his family RSVPed no. We expected many of them not to come because our wedding was 6 hours away – but one of his aunt/uncles that RSVPed no was really surprising.  Another set, who is local to us, the aunt came but they RSVPed no for the uncle. Now THAT was really surprising because DH is actually close to him. 

I don’t think I had anyone too surprising on my side. DH definitely had a few friends that surprised us when they RSVPed no. 

The biggest suprrise to me was a friend of mine from college who travelled across the country without her 2 kids to attend my wedding.

Post # 7
Member
4884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jessdoxy:  LOL…my grandmother spent the entire 9 months leading up to my wedding saying that she “didn’t know if she’d make it until then”…all dramatically. Yeah, I’ve been married a year and half and she’s still kicking just fine! 

Post # 8
Member
11731 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had a good friend not respond at all.  I emailed her and told her I thought her response must have gotten lost in the mail, since she had been talking about coming to the wedding for a year.  She awkwardly responded with she has a friend coming into town that weekend and can’t go.  So, because this friend meant a lot to me, I asked if she wanted to bring the friend with her, and she said no, because the girl’s parents were getting divorced and seeing happy people wouldn’t help her.

It was really, really upsetting and very trying on our friendship until the wedding passed.

Post # 9
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

While I haven’t had my wedding yet, I remember my mom telling me about the surprise “No”s from her wedding.

My dad’s mom, dad, brother, and sister all declined. While the brother was understandable because he was a quadriplegic and couldn’t travel the 8 hours to get to Toronto, it was ridiculous that the immediate family would refuse to go. The sister, who was 15 at the time, wanted to go, but apparently my dad’s parents told her that she could not go because the rest of the family wasn’t going and that would make them look like bad parents.

Aside from the sister, my dad’s family has always been just plain weird.

Post # 10
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

DH’s grandparents ended up not able to come – his grandma isn’t doing too well, and even though they RSVP’d yes initially, his grandma was waffling from week to week, “Oh, I can’t wait” to “Oh, I don’t think I can go.”  There were even offers for someone to come and get them in their remote community and bring them over, but they ultimately ended up not coming.

Two of my cousins didn’t even bother sending back their reply cards.

Two of my friends didn’t even let me invite them – they have an issue with one of the other people I invited and refused to have anything to do with me or my wedding if she was there.

 

Post # 11
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

@pinotgrigio:  We had a friend respond no and we were super shocked! He has been talking about our wedding since before we were engaged. We thought he would for sure be a yes. 

I really want to know why but it would be rude to just call and ask so I’m going to let it go. But, we are a little hurt! 

But, everyone I know who has gotten married has said you will never notice the people who do not come, you will be far too busy with your guest in attendance that it won’t matter at all! 

Post # 12
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Yep! DH’s aunt and uncle who were very excited about the engagement did not RSVP and when I emailed to ask if they received the invitation after the deadline they RSVP’d no. We were super surprised because they seem to love when we visit them so we figured they would come into town (almost 4 hr drive) and get a hotel or something. I did not think this would be an issue even over the holidays because they have no family where they live, don’t have any kids, travel a lot, and they are very “comfortable” financially. Most family members were using the wedding to get together over christmas anyway. Honestly though, you never know what’s going on in someone else’s life and I realized it was not meant as a snub, they just were unable to make it. They ended up sending a very generous gift later, so now I’m 1000% sure it’s not because they dislike us! 🙂

I am peeved about a close extended family member’s suprise no show at the wedding though. RSVP’d yes for wife, husband, and kid–no call, no show, no apology. Now THAT’S awkward. 

Post # 13
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I had a friend telling me how excited she was for our wedding and she was so happy to go every time I saw her.  Then her RSVP came in with no.  So I saw her a week or so later and she told me she booked a trip to visit her brother across the country for that week.  I didn’t care…maybe it was the only time that worked for both of them, but I felt like she could’ve said something to me about it earlier instead of me finding out through the RSVP. Especially since she kept pushing her excitement for going

Post # 14
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@pinotgrigio:  My DH’s boss RSVPed “No.” She went to all their mutual colleagues’ weddings, and was always asking DH about his wedding plans and seemed very excited/interested. I thought she would definitely be there, hence her “No” RSVP threw me off.

Not so much as a surprise as the one above, but I invited an old colleague of mine from a former job. We would hang out now and then in the city, and he was always asking me if I was married yet as he knew I was dating my DH. Our wedding was local to him so I figured he’d want to bring a friend and just enjoy the free booze/food, but he RSVPed “No” with no explanation and stopped talking to me completely. I actually started suspecting if there was something more there. Weird.

Post # 15
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@abbie017:  Wow, that’s really unfortunate. :/ I can see how things would be awkward afterwards.

Post # 16
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Haha, my fiance’s best girl-friend just RSVP’ed for herself! She left off her boyfriend, even though the RSVP card had a spot for him. I was SO surprised when I read her RSVP!

I told FI and he called her – turns out she thought we wanted a small wedding (we gave up on that a long time ago hah), and because I hadn’t written his name on the envelope (we had super casual invites, and I don’t think I know his last name!) she just put her name on and left him out!
We told her she was being ridiculous and that her boyfriend should absolutely come, no ifs-ands-or-buts… apparently he’s really excited that he’s able to go now hahahaha

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