Post # 1
This weekend was my bridal shower for my FI’s family and it was a surprise shower, although I was pretty sure of what was happening beforehand. It was a really nice day, and I was so touched that my FMIL planned such a great event for me. However, I was a little thrown by the fact that she invited two friends of hers who I have never met, and who are not invited to the wedding. They were really nice ladies and I didn’t get a sense that they were miffed about not being invited to the wedding (I had never met them after all) but it was still awkward, and I was a little annoyed (though not surprised) that my FMIL didn’t follow standard etiquette by inviting them.
So here’s my question: is there anything I should do at this point, beyond sending both a sincere thank you note? (they both were part of a group gift from most of the guests) Should I just not even bother hinting to my FMIL that they shouldn’t have been invited? Is this “etiquette rule” something that has just fallen to the wayside and I should just forget about it?
Post # 3
I don’t think there is anything you need to do but send them thank you cards. I wouldn’t hint anything at the FMIL, unless she starts poking around asking for you to invite these people. I’ve been at showers where friends of the mom or aunt have been invited, but were not invited to the wedding itself. If your FMIL pushes, I would jsut say while we would love to have eveyrone there, we have to sticki within the confines of the budget.
Post # 4
Just send them a sincere thank you note. I don’t think there is much you can do that won’t cause tension between you and your FMIL at this point.
Post # 5
@Le_Faye: Thanks for your advice. I don’t think my FMIL invited them to push for an invite, I think she is just clueless as to what ‘proper etiquette’ dictates… or maybe I am just hypersensitve to it as a result of wedding planning!
@arsing89: Thanks, this was my thought, just wanted to put the question out there!
Post # 6
@Little_Nut88: It may very well be proper etiquette to restrict the shower guest ist to those also invited to the wedding, but there are always exceptions to every rule.
Many women have friends for years and they like to celebrate the milestones in their children’s lives together. I am sure those women were fully aware that they are not invited to the wedding and still wanted to celebrate her son’s upcoming wedding with your FMIL and they also likely wanted to meet the bride.
Given that you were te guest of honor, and did not issue the invitations, I suggest you send a thank-you note and move on.
Post # 7
@Little_Nut88: My mom also invited people to my shower that are not invited to the wedding.
My thought – she invited them…she can deal with the awkwardness if they get upset they weren’t invited to the wedding. Her problem, not mine.
Post # 8
My mom invited one of her friends to my bridal shower AND TO MY WEDDING! (I had no intention of inviting this person). Thankfully, the person said she was so sorry she couldn’t make it to my wedding, as she had plans. But come on now!! Ugh. Lol.