Post # 1
Short version: one of my dear friends from work held a surprise shower for me. I had no idea that I would be having a shower at all so it was a BIG surprise. All of the guests were also co workers, however 3 of the shower guests have not been invited to the wedding (invites have already gone out). How do I handle this??
More info: I work in a large department that is mostly women, so I am very close with a lot of my coworkers. My FI and I decided to limit coworker invites only to those who we have spent time with individually outside of work (so for example if we have hung out at each others house or gone for dinner just the 2 of us, yes, if we are in book club together, no). This still ended up being approx 10 women and their spouses/dates (it could have otherwise been double this number! Our venue has limited space). At the shower, all of the guests brought a dish, many arranged games, and all contributed to gifts.
Also – I will be getting the hostess a gift as a thank you and writing thank you cards to everyone who came, should I also be getting a small gift for anyone else? I suspect 3-4 of the other girls helped plan and organize as well, althought it really sounds like everyone pitched in!!
Please help me out – I feel so loved and spoiled by the shower and really want to do the right thing!
Post # 3
is it an option to go ahead and add these 3 ladies to your guest list and send thrm an invite?
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
That should be fine. 1. It was a surprise shower. 2. Co-workers know they don’t always get an invite. I think you’re good and shouldn’t worry about inviting them.
Post # 5
I agree. I think you’re fine not inviting them. This is one of the exceptions to the rule.
Post # 6
@mjwyatt84: We haven’t had any “no” RSVPs come back yet, and all of these girls have significant others that we would also invite, so we need room for 6 extra guests. I am hoping we will have enough room. Would it be rude to invite them now? I am not sure if they know that they are not invited or that others have already received invites…
Post # 7
@alex88: I had the same dilemma. I didnt invite my co-workers until 2 weeks ago after we got some NO replies back and I saw room on the guest list. I explained to them why their invites were so late and they were thrilled to even get an invite at all. So I think as long as they know the deal its not rude
Post # 8
We have huge showers at my work – the entire building is invited (250 people!) I work on a team of about 30 people, but I am not even inviting all of those people, let alone the entire building! I am only inviting 7 people (and their spouses) from work. I know that a big shower is coming up, because they do it for everyone, but I think people will understand that inviting everyone is just not realistic.
I did feel really bad about this in the beginning. People give lots of gifts (usually the person’s entire registry is taken care of just by the people at my work!) and monetary contributions. I feel horrible accepting a gift from someone that I’m not inviting to the wedding! But we are having a small wedding (50 guests) so I think most people understand (at least I hope so!).
Post # 9
I’d be inclined to invite them if you can fit the extras. Whatever propriety says, it sounds like these people really care about you to help put on a party and probably feel left out.
Post # 10
I don’t think you should feel bad about that and you don’t have to invite them. At just about every office I’ve worked in, I was invited to showers and not the wedding. People want to support you, but they know you’re really “work” friends. Don’t stress about it.
Post # 11
I don’t think you have to invite them to the wedding. Perhaps you could bring something to work for your department like a cookie tray, bagels, donuts, fruit, etc ? Just as a general thank you for everyone.
Post # 12
@adoc86: Ahh that is a huge shower!!
@mjwyatt84: Maybe this is what we will end up doing…we have a really strict size limit on our venue so it’s not even a budget issue – extra guests would literally not fit in the venue!
@PlumeriaSplash: You’re right – hopefully we will know soon if we will have enough room!