- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
The wedding is suppposed to be a surprise for the guests?? Before I weigh in...I want to make sure I understand the situation...
my only issue with the surprise is that some people might not come if they don't know it's a wedding. Like if you have a dear aunt that happens to be sick that weekend, she might say "oh, i feel very fatigued and sick - i'll just catch up with her next week" and skip it. But she'll be so sad to miss the wedding!!
It really depends on your family and friends. My mom would KILL ME if she wasn't allowed to be part of the planning. And people may not take it as seriously or try to get there as much if they think it's just a party and not a wedding. And it also may take away from the whole celebration, because people will just be saying to you afterwards, "WOW, you got married???? WHAT??" instead of "Yay, it was beautiful, congratulations!"
So I guess I don't love the idea as a guest, but I also don't think it's going to be fabulous as a bride either, honestly. Why are you having a surprise wedding? I think that's a big part of the reaction, too.
there was a suprise wedding on 100 layer cake that was reallly cute:
http://100layercake.com/blog/archives/1345
I kind of agree about the guest who may not come because they dont know its a wedding. I would be really dissapointed if I couldnt make it to a friends "party" and then later found out it was the wedding. Thats the only thing to think about.
A major reason we want to have it is because of the stress of everyone involved. You can't just cut your families out! We want them to be included, but we want it in a shorter time frame so everyone can't freak out. My mom has a big family that, of course, wants to know EVERYTHING and has an opinion. Yes, telling them "I'll consider that" works sometimes, but six months later and 12 months to go, it's annoying! And FMIL is unbudging in her guest list... yes, we have the budget for all these people, but we (FI & myself) don't know them so we don't want them there! Grr!
Also, we had to change our date once. We're looking at our original date for the surprise wedding... just because it's starting to seem like it may work better than our first. Weird, right? I mean, we're not making snap decisions here, but our vendors have some complicated timelines.
And @Gilneas... my mom will be planning it with me. We won't be surprising everyone, just a lot of people. I mean, you've still got to have flowers and a officiant and a dress and a party! Just way, way more low key then what we were going for.
@july11... that's the one that inspired me! My mom told me about it and I went to go read it, and LOVED it. It's kind of funny that my mom keeps up with more blogs than I do!
I guess as long as everyone you really wanted there were there, than it would work out fine. I think you should do what you want and what will make you happy. But as a guest at a surprise wedding I might be kinda bummed if I didn't get a chance to get a gift or help you plan if I was really close to you, but as long as I was part of it, I'd be happy. What would you tell people to get them there?
I think it would be a really cute idea. Do you live close to a lot of guests so they would be likely to come out for a party? Or if you can just have a smaller intimate thing that would be great too.
It would be an engagement party on our original date, hcritton. And MissAsB we do live close to all the important people, except for one... his grandmother. We would tell her in advance and fly her in for it, of course.
That wedding on 100 layer cake does rock! The engagement party cover would get the right people there I think too.
I think it depends on your family. While I'm a firm believer of "it's YOUR day, do what YOU want," things might get tricky. Everyone posted some good points - about people flying in, or people not taking it seriously and not showing at all. Some families are casual and spontanious like that. Mine personally would have a fit! Good luck though, either way!
I agree with ProudPeacockBride, it's your day! I think it's a great idea, just send out the invites saying an engagement party so that people near and dear to you make sure to show up! I think if you and your FI and the parents are ok with it go for it! (I say parents b/c I know my mom would be heart broken if she didn't get a say in something so major!)
My FI and I are doing the exact same thing! :D We both like the idea of doing something different from the traditional wedding, and we both have 1 parent who has a big family that we aren't close to...and really don't want there. I came home and just had this idea of getting everyone together for something and then TA-DAAA surprise! You're at the wedding! FI loved it and came up with the idea of having people get together for our "engagement party". We are so excited! Our budget is only whatever I have saved because I refuse to go into debt, and I moved home to support my parents, so they can't contribute. This way I get to do all of the things I really want to (make our cake/pocket pies, centerpieces, favor) and none of the stuff I don't care about (wedding party, flowers for wedding party, gifts to thank everyone). PLUS, as not everyone knows of our surprise plans, we have planned everything together, I have purchased most everything and we'll spend time quietly together making everything together wtihout the stress. A few people know of our plan - my dad (of course! he has to walk me!) FI's bestie, my bestie and our favorite cousin. As far as gifts - we really don't mind if we don't get much (won't be having showers, etc), but we will advertize our wedding website and provide registry information if people are interested. We're telling people the "big hoopla" will be in February and that our engagement party is in November. And we decided the "surprise" element helps to cut out the people we invite out of obligation, but don't really mind if they skip out. For those who are REALLY important and may say, "eh...I'll just wait for the wedding" (like my nana) we'll stress how important it is to us to have them there, and if they still won't budge, we'll let them in on the secret. Cheers to you and your fabulous idea!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 68 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| akp0702 | 42 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 41 |
| MrsPom | 37 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| HappilyEverAfter54 | 2 |
| lululime | 2 |
| keepsmiling19 | 1 |
| soyjoy222 | 1 |
| bookworm88 | 1 |
| nutMeg13 | 1 |
| Aure | 1 |
| TheLionQueen | 1 |
| Bears-bub | 1 |
| beargoose | 1 |
Ok my dearest hive.. I know I've been gone. And I'm back with a question: what do you think of the idea of a surprise wedding--from the guest point of view? I know there will be some obstacles (I don't get to design hundreds of paper goods? Oh no... and I have to keep it a secret, of course, aside from other hurdles) but I also am starting to HATE my wedding. FI is leaving it to me, he just wants our families to be there (immediate).
Give me your thoughts, please! And I hope you all had a wonderfully delicious thanksgiving/BF