Post # 1
It seems like over the last few weeks there as been a lot of “Gender disappointment” on the boards. This in itself is not surprising. I am pregnant and while I do not have a specific desire either way, I can completely understand that some women are attached to the idea of having a boy or girl.
What I find hugely surprising is that it seems it is, almost exclusively, dissapointment over having boys when wanting a girl! I find this so interesting. In most of the developping world boys are highly favoured (for the obvious reasons) and there has been a surge in gender selective abortions.
Most of the Hive seems to from the developed world and the prefernce really does seem to be for girls. Or maybe it is that the Bees are mostly (?) women and perhaps all women crave to have girls.
For myself, I don’t mind in the least either way (honestly). I know its important for my husband to have a boy at some point to carry on our name but other than that neither of us mind at all.
Wishing you all healthy and happy pregnancies!
Post # 3
@Sea_bass: I wanted a boy… got a girl. We were team green though so not much time to have disappointment with the exictement of baby’s arrival!
Post # 4
I wanted a boy (and that’s what I’m having). I liked the idea of a big brother first if we have girls later on, and DH and I have a really hard time agreeing on girl names. However, DH won’t admit it, but I know he wanted a little girl. We’re excited to meet our little man soon, though!
Post # 5
It’s common in 1st world countries to prefer a girl and when gender is selected at places which that can be done, it’s typically girl.
I know that’s unintuitive considering in India, China, etc., they prefer boys, to the point of abandoning girl newborns.
It’s interesting to think of the reasons this may be, but it’s not a bee-specific phenomenon. Even my FI and I are hoping our first is a girl (and second is a boy), but you can see our emphasis is still on “girl.” We are both really looking forward to a daughter. And he’s a man (the stereotype is that men want a son).
By the way, a daughter can carry on the family name. We’ll be using my last name for our new family.
Post # 6
@runsyellowlites: Interesting. I am team green too 🙂 Maybe it was all in my pregnant head! It seems like I know so many people who were disappointed when they found out they were expecting a boy. Congrats your your beautiful GIRL 🙂
Post # 7
@joya_aspera: No, I certainly didn’t think it was a Bee phenomenon, just used that as an example. I know a lot of women IRL going through the same thing. Is gender selecting permitted where you are? Its illegal to carry out such procedures in the UK (but it is still done).
Post # 8
Eh, we want one of each. We’d like a boy first and then a girl, but we’ll be happy however.
Post # 9
I think that most girls want that close mother-daughter relationship bond that they either did or didn’t have growing up. It’s more difficult to relate to the mother-son bond when you’ve never been on either end up of the equation. And part of it has to do with gender steretypes of course…we picture boys as being all about sports and racecars and superheroes, and girls as being into princess stuff and ballet and tea parties. So then preference tends to be based on which of those groupings sounds better to you. Of course, you could have a little girl who ends up being a total tomboy, but that isn’t how we tend to think when the child in question is still pretty abstract, as far as personality goes anyways.
My problem is more with the fact that the world seems to imply you should prefer one gender over the other – I cannot count how many times I’ve been asked whether I want my baby to be a boy or a girl. Now that I know I’m having a boy, people ask me if that’s what I wanted or if I was disappointed. It’s seriously annoying!
Post # 10
@Sea_bass: It’s legal in the US. I added an article to my earlier post that may interest you.
Post # 11
I thought is was common, a stereotype- that girls want girls (and boys want boys). I didn’t feel this way. Also, a girl can carry on a husband’s name- just saying. I was the last of my family (the youngest girl) and I carried on my name.
Post # 12
I have noticed this too and find it interesting as well. I’m guilty of it myself… I want a girl first but will be thrilled with a healthy baby no matter what. I think I’m modeling my own family, I’m the older sister and my brother is younger. I am female and am less afraid of a baby girl to ease me into things AND I think little girl clothes are cuter (this is obviously a very superficial reason). I’m guessing a lot of the baby girl bias in my social circle stems from the pregnant party being female and we’re mostly older sisters. I can’t wait to find out either way, I just want to know and stop calling the baby it!
Post # 13
It is interesting – especially since I definitely want a boy more than a girl! Though I’d prefer one of each, but if that couldn’t happen, then I’d rather have just a boy than just a girl.
I suppose for me it stems from the fact that I’ve never recovered from some of the things my own mother said/did when I was growing up, and even many of the things she said/did as an adult. I hate the thought that my own daughter could think and feel the same way I often have towards my mother. My mother has hurt me more than any other person ever has, and it would be devastating if my own daughter said that about me.
So I think relationship plays a lot into it. Great friendship with your mom? Then you want that with a daughter. Even if you did have contentions, then I think some women go the other way and say “I’ll be a better mom and have that mother-daughter bond I always wanted.” I just happened to go the opposite.
And like a PP said, we don’t know what the mother-son bond is like because we’ve never experienced it.
Post # 14
@bowsergirl: I’m definitely in the “I’ll be a wayyyy better mother than she was” camp, but I did have another female relative who was a much better mother figure than her, as well.
Post # 15
@Sea_bass: A daughter can still carry on the family name. More and more women are choosing not to change their last name when married, so even if you have only girls, perhaps one of them can carry the name.
Post # 16
Hmm it is interesting. I think perhaps a large percentage of Bee’s are girly girls so they can relate to having a baby girl better than a baby boy.