surrounded by babies and trying so hard to stay positive…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

what a jerk thing to think …”you’re 100 lbs over weight and 6 years older than me and 2 kids just like that”. I understand you’re feeling emotional about it but to think something so judgemental about your SIL is wrong. You are only 5 cycles in. On average it can take up to a year. Are you charting? or just regularly having sex and hoping for the best? Either way you need to stop allowing your paranoia to take over. If you are truly concerned, talk to your doctor. Try and keep the focus on you and your husband, not on anyone else. Comparison is the thief of joy…

Post # 4
Member
4153 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I just want to say I’m sorry that you’re going through this and feeling this way.  DH and I are in our 14th cycle trying and it is one of the hardest challenges I’ve ever faced.  I wish I had advice, but all I can really say is I can relate and those of us who have TTC for some length of time can understand everything you’re feeling.  I hope you get your BFP very soon!

 

 

@stardustintheeyes:  She prefaced her post by saying she was venting, said she had a horrible thought for a few seconds and that she felt horrible about it.  No need to rip her a new one for that.

Post # 5
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I know exactly how you feel… I’ve had some horrible thoughts too… and I get jealous everytime I see a pregnant woman and think “why can’t that be me”…  It’s really tough, but don’t lie to your OB/GYN, tell her the truth, have you been charting?  Maybe charting would help you feel more in control??

Post # 6
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@hardtoconcentrate:  I hardly think I ripped her a new one. But venting or not, when you admit that you are thinking such mean spirited things about someone simply because they have children and that’s something you want, I think you need to take a step back and regroup.  That’s all I was saying. Judging someone on their weight and because she is older isn’t a very nice thing to do. I stand by my original comment.

Post # 8
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  If you recognize it that’s awesome. I would really suggest charting or doing somethinig really proactive to try and maybe feel a bit more in control of the process. Talking to your doctor will help too.

We all have those bad moments. Myself included. But when I do it I realize like “whoa there stardust, you need to take it down a notch!”.

Post # 9
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hey! We’ve ALL been there! It’s tough! And I am super bitter… Makes me feel like a terrible person… This is not at all like SexEd said it would be “If you have sex, you will get pregnant and die… Here are some rubbers”.

my only advice is to get a semen analysis done now. NOW! My doctor wouldn’t help me with out it and when we took hubs to the doctor to get one they were like “Oh, he’s on Testosterone? No point in a SA since he’s basically sterile for the next 3 months assuming he stops taking it now”… We had no idea and were devastated!!! Don’t wait! Even if hubs is fine, it will help you get help faster… And you might even get pregnant the same week – Murphy’s Law and all 🙂

Post # 10
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@stardustintheeyes:  I don’t think it’s a jerk thing to think… And it’s not like she said it! I think it’s natural to compare yourself to others and think how am *I* doing this wrong… Better she vent on WB than in real life – sometimes this is the only place people have to feel safe expressing TMI feelings…

Post # 11
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@MySunshine:  it is most definitely a jerk thing to think! lol Im not saying it’s not a common thing to have some bad thoughts, especially when it comes to something like this but yes, it wasn’t very nice. We all do it, sure. That doesn’t make it right and I think it’s great when you can have that moment and realize that it’s not ok to think that way about someone and figure out a way to overcome thoes moments rather than just accept it and let it keep happening. TTC brings out all kinds of emotions, good and bad.

Post # 12
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I’m sorry things are going this way, and I am certainly not going to say there have people who have been trying longer so buck up because it doesn’t make your pain hurt any less.

I would try charting if you haven’t been already. I think there are still some things you can do apart from just DTD to increase your chances. Knowing when you O is one of them.

I wish you good luck, and I wouldn’t hesitate to talk to your doctor anyway. He/she might suggest charting first too because they jump to conclusions that either you or your hubby have a problem.

Post # 14
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’m sorry you are having a hard time but why do you think that everyone around you had it easy.  maybe everyone else tried for months and months before a positive.

talk to your doctor at your next appointment so you can take the next step.

Post # 15
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I just have to say, since this is a place to vent… A “friend” of mine has recently told people that she is preganant… This girl is always out getting drunk to the point of blacking out (has actually gotten so drunk she has pooped/peed her pants on more than one occasion, obviously not since she’s been pregnant but still) and smokes pot like crazy… I can’t help but think “how the HELL does she get pregnant “by accident” and I am doing “everything right” and i can’t… Now her and her stoner friends are making jokes about how they hope she has the baby on 4/20 and names it Marley…. Undecided

Post # 16
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I am so sorry it’s taking you awhile to get PG.  My first cycle we were NTNP (and had no clue on anything else) and when I got my period that month, I freaked.  I think it’s somewhat natural to think something’s wrong when it doesn’t happen quickly, since it seemes like it does for so many others. 

Are you charting or what are you doing to actively TTC?  One of my DH’s good friends said it took her 9 months of trying to get PG.  She told me, “don’t just have sex the few days around your “O” date, I needed to do it more than that.”  I know each person is different, but after she said that DH and I BD’d for 15 days straight a few days after my period ended.  And later that month I got a BFP, although I was using the O strips that never came up postive that I was ovulating.  So for me it seemed like doing it that much must’ve helped since it wasn’t clear?

I would most definitely talk to you Dr. at your annual.  Even if they won’t start the extensive testing until you’ve been tyring for more like a year, I think they can still test other hormonal, etc. levels or give some suggestions on how you can increase your chances. 

Good luck!  Don’t feel bad about having jealous thoughts on others; everyone does it and I think you were just brave enough to admit it out loud on the forum.  Just don’t admit it in person, that’s what we’re here for! 😉

 

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