(Closed) Surrounded by overdemanding people and trying to plan an intercultural wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m not planning an intercultural wedding, but I am planning the giant Indian wedding with 8000 times too much input from every relative I didn’t know I had, so believe me, I know how you feel! I spent the whole holiday contemplating how easy 24.99 plus tax would be at a drive-thru in Vegas, haha. 

We had the same venue issue – there was nowhere big enough for our wedding that was still reasonable enough (both in terms of price but also in terms of allowing us our own types of food/sweets etc.) We finally ) went with Embassy Suites – you don’t say where you are in your post, but I would def look into using them if you have one in the vicnity as they have been very helpful in allowing us all the cultural type things we need. Letting us bring ourown catering for a nominal “plating fee” has been a huge cost-saving! 

Other places we considered were other mid-range hotels (country inn and suites, westin, doubletree, etc. all of whom were also fairly reasonable but not as willing to work with the budget) 

Good luck! 

Post # 4
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Oh lord.  I am JUST starting our planning and his dad’s side is south asian… and he was adament we have a conference hall and invite hundreds of people.  I wish you the best.  I would probably just do the DW.  In fact, I would personally do it if my parents were able to travel okay.  🙁  Sorry that wasn’t helpful!

Post # 5
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I know! I have gone from several ranges of numbers, we went from 300 (what my parents want) to 113 (what FI & I want) and now we are settling to 200. Isn’t it amazing how we do what they want, but yet they come back and say “Do you what you want” and its like….ummm really? Then they change their minds lol oh how I love my desi parents!!! Lol I wish we could have a “normal” wedding where we atleast know everyone!

Post # 7
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@DCweddinggal: Honestly, I don’t think it matters much unless you’re doing it in the US.  I know when my fiance and I travel to the Caribbean, we seem to have an internal shift.  Once you’re on an island it’s a different vibe.  Probably because everyone is on “island time”.  You just end up being happy to get food.  Everything tastes better there, anyways. 🙂

Most resorts have a wedding coordinator who work with their local vendors.  Islands are small and everyone knows everyone… so you get probably the best they can offer anyways. 

I would suggest going down for a jaunt if you decide to do it before booking them, just to make sure it feels right.  Also, a lot of the islands have some sort of south asian population so you can probably find fusion food options.  St. Croix even had a radio broadcast on Sunday that played old bollywood songs.

Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am just starting to plan my intercultural wedding and already afraid of the possible drama. I think there will be conflicts over where we hold it. I don’t want to do it in FI’s hometown bc then his parents are going to invite everyone in the world (one of his siblings had over 600 guests at his wedding) and I don’t like a lot of the venues there. I suggested a destination in between both of our homes, but we have a feeling his parents my fight us on it. Crosses fingers you figure it all out!

Post # 9
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m also planning an intercultural wedding, so I understand how crazy and frustrating it can get. We are actually having two wedding ceremonies in one day! I feel like my parents’ guest list gets bigger everyday….even for the Sangeet, which is 2 days before the wedding, they went from saying they wanted to invite 100 people to 175! Sometimes I wish I had chosen to elope. It’s really true what they say: “Their wedding, our marriage”. I say go for the destination wedding if it’s all too much!

Post # 10
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@DCweddinggal: Two of my FSILs got married in the one trip to Italy, and they did have some extra stuff to organise, but they simplified everything thry could – no flowers or programs, and we basically wandered around Rome until we found a restaurant that could accommodate 25ish people for dinner each day! They booked photogs through the church, and asked in the hotel for hair and make up recommendations. After dinner each night we pretty much monopolised an Irish bar for the night, and a wonderful time was had by all! Very relaxed, and very fun indeed.

Don’t know if that’s helpful, but if you can’t win with the folks while you’re trying to do things to please them, then you might as well please yourselves! Best of luck!

Post # 11
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@DCweddinggal: I just had my wedding this past weekend and I could have written the post you wrote! At the end of the weekend we could say that people had fun at our two receptions–one the smaller “American” one with the ceremony and reception and the second and much larger Eritrean reception–but planning was a nightmare.

Post # 12
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@fuzzypeaches:

@DCweddinggal:

We had the same venue issue. First of all, our main request to my parents was for them to plan their Sunday reception in the vicinity of the Saturday ceremony/reception–meaning in the same county or in the region. They were a region over, about two counties over, but we wanted our guests to not have to travel at least an hour between two events in two days.

We came up against prospective venues not allowing outside catering–meaning at least one of the following:

  • no catering other than the hotel restaurant

 

  • no catering other than what is on our preferred vendors list

 

  • no catering other than what is on our preferred vendors list unless you want to pay a fee for bringing in an outside caterer

 

  • no caterer that is not a licensed and insured caterer

For the Eritrean reception, my parents planned to have friends and family prepare the food. This was done because (1) it’s normal for the culture, I guess and (2) there aren’t any Eritrean or Ethiopian restaurants, nonetheless those that catered, in the area.

So, our venue options were extremely limited even as we searched since about 10 months before the wedding weekend. It was mostly the food/catering issue. Our options were:

  • a Shriners club

 

  • a city park with an event center

 

  • an event venue outside of the county of the Saturday festivities but inside the region

Other concerns when trying to work with a venue included bartending but all three options afforded the space we needed. We ended up going with the pretty venue outside of the county and it worked out great–well, at least logistically. My family still wishes we “let them” have the party in their region but I had to put my foot down and think about all the guests invited, not just the ones they invited.

Tangent: Speaking of that, the wedding party showed up to the second reception 2 hours after the event start time stated on the invitations. As we guessed, the guests that the now-husband 🙂 and I invited showed up around that time while my parents guests were still getting ready at their hotel!

The topic ‘Surrounded by overdemanding people and trying to plan an intercultural wedding’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors