Surviving the wait, promise?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I got a promise ring from now DH when I was in high school. I’m 21 now and and the idea of a promise ring now seems a little juvenile but it could just be that I’m married so I guess I dont see the point if you’re expecting a proposal in the next year or so. I dont think there’s anything wrong with getting one though, especially if it’s going to be awhile before you get an e ring, it’s just that everyone I know who has one got them in high school. I do love my promise ring though and even used it as my wedding band so I understand the sentiment of it. For me Id rather just have the longer engagement and have the ring if that’s what you’re wanting than get a promise ring and keep waiting, but everyone has different priorities! 

Post # 3
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

kayhay88:  honestly I think its cute!! if you can’t afford an e ring get a small ring and save up. 

Post # 4
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

kayhay88:  Do you really need a physical object (promise ring) in order to feel that you two are committed? I don’t really get the purpose of a promise ring. Why is a verbal promise to each other not good enough? Do you need a ring to “prove” he wants to be with you? 

Post # 7
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

Awe! I think it also depends what kind of ring you want. What size stone. how much $$ to spend. 

I think it’s nice to have the promise and to set a plan to save up for a ring. Plus you can pick your own out! 

Post # 8
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

kayhay88:  “I sort of want it as a sign that he wants to get there as much as I do” 

You sound like you’re needing reassurance that he’s in it for real. I encourage you to have a serious heart to heart with him and talk about your respective timeline expectations. That way you two can make a plan for the future without you wondering if he’s as committed as you are. 

It’s not to hard really. Just as simple as asking stuff like “Do you want to get married in the future to me? I see myself getting married to you in x amount of time, how about you?” 

Post # 10
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

If your feeling insecure about the relationship because you dont have an engagement ring, you should have a serious chat about your relationship. I worked with a few people that were getting engaged/married and I went crazy with wedding fever with my then BF. I think I was too young at that time (19) to realise, I just wanted to get married for getting married, (the competition, the day, the ring) not wanting to get married to my BF. I eventually moved on in my job, and the wedding fever stopped, We spoke about it occasionally, but I wasnt putting pressure on him like I was before. And it happened, it wasnt forced, and I know 100% now I want to get married for him, not for any other reason.

Post # 11
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

kayhay88:  I think it’s pretty normal to have these feelings at some point in a long term relationship. Also you are right about external pressure (or seeing other people getting married around you) causing feelings about your own relationship. I was perfectly fine in my relationship for 4 years and then we moved in together. Well at that point everyone I knew was like “when are you getting married already?” I swear for a little while my common sense started to go out the window as I suddenly worried that maybe he didn’t want to. I had to stop listen to everyone else that seemed to think that if he hadn’t proposed yet it was a bad sign. If I was honest with myself I wasn’t even ready to get married yet anyway! Not that I didn’t 100% think he was the one, but it’s a pretty major life milestone that I just didn’t feel ready for. Finally I just did what you said, decided to feel confident and happy with my relationship. I talked with him too and found that he felt the same why I did, happy with me, wanting to be together till old age, but not ready to get married soon. 

So I “waited” longer than most to get married, 10 years together before saying “I do” but I enjoyed all of it. Except for the one crazy time around the 4 year mark. Lol. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors