the desire to plan, maybe I'll plan the engagement party for now?
more by bananagirl
big step tomorrow!!!!! (well, technically today, since it's almost 5am)
I'm engaged!! I'm still in shock!
more in Waiting
today was supposed to be the day...
Monogram Help
more in Boards
Children and Weddings, Babysitter required?

sweet but cruel

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
  •  
    1.
    Member
    211 posts
    Helper bee
    bananagirl    October 10, 2010  

    Mr Banana had to go back west and couldn't stay for NY's, so he flew me out to visit him.  Well, I get in the 30th, and we go out to dinner.  I put on a dress he got me for my birthday, which he loves.  We went to a nice Italian place we'd been to before.  At some point during dinner, he wanted to say something, but wasn't saying it.  I can't remember the exact conversation before this happened, but I know we had been talking about "us stuff" at various times throughout the evening, and he'd also talked about buying a car the next day (a used one, paying cash for it).  

    I tell him he has to tell me what he's thinking about and smiling over, he tells me it's silly and impractical.  I tell him I think he's talking about eloping.  He says no, he was thinking that instead of a car tomorrow he wanted to just go to Tiffany's and get the ring.  He wanted to show folks I was family, he didn't like people not knowing (I guess he meant assuming I was just a girlfriend).  I was FLOORED!!!!!  

    We talked about it.  He said then it wouldn't be a surprise, but then again he could make sure it was the right ring since I'd be right there.  He wasn't sure when in the evening he would do it.  I told him that he'd already surprised me when he FIRST asked me to marry him (but not an official proposal) OVER A YEAR AGO!  He also said then we'd have to tell our folks by phone and he wanted I guess to tell them in person.  We talked about it some more, and as far as I could tell, it was a 'yes, let's do this'.  I mean, I knew he hadn't been 100% sure at first, but I he never said at the end of the conversation "no, we just can't do it tomorrow, that's silly and impulsive, and as much as I want to..."

     

    So anyway...the next morning...

    I wake up, and ask him what the plan for the day is.  Well, it's not car shopping.  But it's not Tiffany's either!?!?!?!!!!  He said it was never a definite, and that that we just couldn't..lala la silly stuff.  I wasn't 100% surprised, but I wasn't happy either.  I tried to convince him, not in a mean way but in a nice way.  I even put on the dress he'd loved so much the night before  But no such luck.  Finally I asked if he'd tell one of his friends (who he hasn't told about his plan to propose) that he'd asked my folks, and he said yes, he'd hoped to do it already.  Of course the way NYEve played out there was never the opportunity.  

     

    So anyway....I guess the plan is still by Easter.  I wonder now if he wants to do it when he visits our home state instead of when I'm out visiting him.  I think I'll tell him that he could always tell our folks in advance that he has plans to do it and then it would be okay to call them up immediately afterwards instead of telling them in person.  

    He was so sweet by saying that.  Yet of course how it didn't end up happening was frustrating.  He does things like that sometimes, says what he wants to do because he knows it makes me happy.  After this occasion I reminded him that it's best to tell me afterwards that as much as he wants to that whatever it is he's talking about (whether eloping or proposing) will have to wait until the time is right.  He gets caught up in the moment and forgets to tell me those things sometimes.  So I will remind him next time that he needs to tell me if he just wants to do ___ or actually plans to, so I won't get let down.  I don't want him not to tell me what he wants to do because it's just so sweet when he says these things.  

     

    Anyway....sorry for my rambling.  I meant to post this the other day but I didn't get a chance to hop on wedding bee.  He bought me Martha Stewart's wedding magazine yesterday (NY Day) at the grocery store.  okay, I admit, I put it in the basket, but he didn't make me pay for it myself.  ;-) I am hoping to maybe get him to go to Tiffany's before I head back and at least make a final decision on the ring and what size it needs to be for my finger.  It will make the impatient waiting easier.  

     
    2.
    Hostess
    10,729 posts
    Bee Keeper
    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    this is singly one of the sweetest things i have ever read. i'd forgive him for all dumb guy-ishness because of that statement (just think back to this sweet statement)...

    He wanted to show folks I was family, he didn't like people not knowing (I guess he meant assuming I was just a girlfriend).

     
    3.
    Member
    211 posts
    Helper bee
    bananagirl    October 10, 2010  

    yeah, I love that statement right there. 

    I also now know that I have a secret weapon in that dress.  I'll have to post a picture of it. 

     
    4.
    Hostess
    5,780 posts
    Bee Keeper
    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    Yep! You should!!! I need to see this dress. ; )

     
    5.
    Member
    346 posts
    Helper bee
    esrockhold    November 5, 2010   Seattle

    Me becoming an actual part of his family is my most exciting thing. He keeps saying that I am a part but marriage will make it definite. I want so bad to be an in law to someone!

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar

    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More