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Sweetheart Table Disagreement

posted 11 months ago in Reception
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    1.
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    Honey bee
    DeathByDesign    February 18, 2012   Lives in Ontario, married in Quebec

    I really want to have a sweetheart table, and because of the way our venue and their tables are, I think it would work best if my FI and I sat at our own table and our wedding party sat with their plus ones or family. 

    However, my FI doesn't like the idea at all. He thinks that it's weird (he's never been at a wedding where they had a sweetheart table) and he also thinks that he and I will be "bored" eating alone without our friends.

    Personally, I think we're already going to spend the whole day chatting with and entertaining guests, taking photos and generally running around, so it will be nice to spend a couple of hours together just him and I through dinner.

    Will we be bored or lonely at a table by ourselves? Experiences? Thoughts?

    Pros and cons of a sweetheart table?

     
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    Buzzing bee
    maureen9004    August 2008  

    You probably won't be at that table very long- you'll eat your meal (most likely being the first served) and then get up to say hello to your guests. When we were married we probably sat at the sweetheart table for 15 minutes tops. It was nice having a few minutes alone.

     
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    Bumble bee
    sorrycharlie    July 2011  

    we are doing a head table, but I did try to persuade FI into a sweetheart table for that very reason - some time to ourselves. big fail - he had the same reasonings your FI does, he wants to chat with the groomsmen and whatnot during dinner.

    I figure that once dinner is over we'll be up and around anyway, so I'm just choosing battles at this point. lol! but if you feel strongly one way or another, keep discussing it with him. you don't need to decide either way until you have to submit a seating plan to your venue :)

     
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    PrncssDva    October 16, 2010   Memphis, TN

    We did a sweetheart table. We weren't there long enough to get bored. We were walking around greeting everyone, or they came to us.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    2ndtime    April 16, 2011  

    I would think you would only be at that table for a few minutes (long enough to eat), not hours.  In an effort to convince your FH do some research online and show him what you find.  Maybe that will persuade him to change his mind.

     
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    bakerella    September 11, 2010   Toronto, ON

    You will not be alone at that table. Everyone says "Awwww that's so cute! They're having their first dinner alone together!" and then comes up to have a 15 minute conversation with you about how romantic and sweet it is while your meal gets cold. Oh sorry, do I sound a bit jaded about it? LOL!  Seriously, I just started being rude and ate after the third person showed up.

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    @DeathByDesign: We loved it. We were able to sit together and take everything in. The entire day is a total whirlwind and it's really the only part of the day (besides our first look) that we had just with each other. It also allows people to walk up and say hi to you and take pictures if they want. It sounds silly but it was a great time for DH and I to gossip about everyone and what they were wearing. And since we wrote our own vows we were able to talk about what we thought about the others with them. You're only there for like a minute anyway.

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    @bakerella: It's so funny that you wrote that. DH in his thank you speech prior to the meal, asked for people to allow us to have our first meal together as husband and wife and then made a joke about people not bothering us, and people still did LOL

     
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    Worker bee
    Anne9091      

    I've only been to a four weddings as an adult and those were the only ones where I actually paid any attention to where people were sitting.  Two had large head tables with the bride, groom, and whole wedding party. One had a regular sweetheart table with just the bride and groom.  And one had what they called a sweetheart table, but it had the bride, groom, and their parents.  None of the brides and grooms were at any of the head tables or sweetheart tables for more than 15-20 minutes, at absolute most.  They were all served first and then started working their way around the rooms to greet and thank everyone.  Everyone does something a little different, so do what you want and what will work nicely with the venue.

     
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    Helper bee
    mowi322    October 3, 2009   flagstaff, az

    We had a sweetheart table and, like others said, we weren't there for long. We were the first to sit down to eat and I think we were up from our table before the last table even got in line for the buffett.

    I really liked having a sweetheart table. People could come up and chat with us (haha, Bakerella - I never even considered *not* eating when people came by!) and we also got a few minutes alone to just enjoy each other before the party got started. We weren't bored (hello? how is he worried that sitting at your own table would be boring?)

    I don't remember a whole lot from our day very clearly, but I remember those first few minutes alone at our table - it felt like we were in the eye of a storm, calm and lovely. Maybe you can mention to your FI that he will spend all morning before the ceremony with the groomsman and have tons of time during the reception to talk with them, too. But those few precious moments where it will be just the two of you will be hard to find anywhere else on your big day.

     
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    Sugar bee
    JoJo Bananas    August 21, 2010   Santa Cruz, CA

    I liked the sweetheart table.  When we were almost done eating people started coming up to talk to us.  It felt weird to talk to someone who was standing while we were sitting, so we stood up.  Then more people came over.  We didn't get seconds (we were STARVING) but we did get 15 minutes alone.  We had two full days with our bridal party, so it wasn't like we really want to chit chat with them anyways.

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    We had a sweetheart table, it was so nice having just him and me there for dinner because like you said, you'll be busy with friends and family the rest of the day. Plus, people end up coming up to your table the whole time and talking to you anyway.

     
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    Bumble bee
    mcnetn3    August 13, 2011   North Carolina

    We are having a sweatheart table and me and FI both are all about it.  You won't be sitting for long anyways.  You (should) be the first ones served and it'll give you and him a moment to eat and talk before you are off to greet guests while they eat and/or it makes it easier for guests to speak to you without bothering other people at your table.  Sitting with your friends would be a waste of 2 seats at thier table.

     
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    missjo117    February 2012   California

    My friend had a head table. I was a BM and all of us had +1 that weren't sitting with us. As soon as the bride+groom got up to greet the guests at each table, the bridal party also left the head table to hang out with their dates. The head table was empty most of the night and I thought it looked kind of funny. For that reason, I like the sweatheart table!

     
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    Busy bee
    HeatherShane    October 29, 2011  

    We arent going to do a sweetheart table, i didnt want to in the first place and my FI doesnt care either way, but after reading most of these posts, it seems better to sit with our bridal party anyway so we can look like we are talking to them and the guests wont come up and interupt our dinner ;) But i guess it doesnt matter either way since we wont be sitting long anyway..

     
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    Anne9091      

    Now that I think about it, if there was a head table, I would feel bad for the bridesmaids and groomsmen who have +1's and can't sit with them because they'd have to be seated with the bridal party. And, a lot of people said that they spent most of their dinner time talking to people who came up to them. That would make me feel even more bad for the bridal party because they'd be trying to eat with people talking to them, too.  I'm officially voting for the Sweetheart table.

     
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    bells    June 26, 2011  

    We are having a head table with only our parents, best man, and MOH, the rest of the bridal party will be at another table near to us.

     
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    wkross    October 1, 2011   Daytona Beach

    We were very undecided too, as far as having a head table or just a sweetheart table. There was a post on here, about this very issue. I had him read the post and all of the comments and he agreed with the one he first liked least - the Sweet Heart Table. It helped both of us to see the pros and cons.....hope that helps.

     
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    Helper bee
    Imagelicious    October 9, 2011   Toronto, Ontario

    We are having a sweetheart table. To me it actually makes more sense than a traditional head table. I don't want people in our bridal party to feel lonely and wish that they spent that day with their significant others. I don't want my grandmas to also sit at tables with some other random people. I'd rather have my mom sit next to my grandma and my dad sit with his family and my MOH sit with her fiance. This way everyone has fun.

     
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    PitBulLover    August 21, 2010  

    We had a sweetheart table and I loved it. It gave us a few minutes by ourselves but people still came up to it to talk to us or take pictures with us. We were not there for very long so there wasn't enough time to get bored! It was also nice sitting at the sweetheart table for our toasts

     
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    Busy bee
    2bMrsG    October 13, 2011   Pittsburgh, PA (Las Vegas Wedding)

    You would probably only be at the table alone for a few minutes. We're doing a sweetheart table cuz we really only have that option since we decided not to have a wedding party.

     
    22.
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    Busy bee
    RingPup    July 9, 2011  

    I don't know if my feedback will be constructive, so please feel free to ignore.

    I have been to weddings where there is a sweetheart table and regardless of how much time you spend or don't spend there, I don't get the "first meal" together or get the point of wanting to be "away" from your BP or anyone. I've eaten dins with FI plenty of times and really the week after to go out for a private romantic meal will be pleasing enough for me following our wedding.

    Our wedding day is a day for us to host our closest friends and family, not shut them out at a personal table. Forget private time/quiet moment together on your wedding day, your closest people are around you and we will want to spend as much time with them as possible. Maybe a different perspective because all FI's fam is driving 17 hours or flying and he doesn't have anyone close by to where we live. I love his family (mine too) and we want to see everyone as much as we can.

    That being said, our "head table", is a king's table (think of a massive dining room table in the middle of the room) that will have 27 people around it. Bridal party and their plus one's, parents, grandparents and MC and his date. Dinner will be a time for us to all sit down together, with those beside us that we want and hopefully a time (if only even a short time) to spend with our wedding party some laughs, stories, etc and comments as speeches come and go!

     

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