- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
My husband was raised in a very observant Jewish family, I was raised totally Atheist. He is no longer practicing. We were married about a month ago in an intentionally nonreligious ceremony officiated by my brother and there wasn’t much resistance to our plans to not have a religious wedding and my plans to not convert.
Now his family would like to sponsor a kiddush to celebrate our marriage at their synagogue. I have been to these before for major family events for the members of his family that are observant but we did not attend services, just came to the gathering afterward. I have been informed that it would be rude not to attend services on the day when the kiddush being sponsored is in our honor but am now having second thoughts about the whole thing. We made a point to not have our marriage be a religious event and I don’t think that I’m entirely comfortable marking the occasion with any sort of event centered on religion. I’m not comfortable attending religious services and (as we have decided to raise any subsequent children as Atheist) am thinking that going with the flow and marking this occasion with something at the synagogue might cause confusion regarding our intentions moving forward. I certainly would not want my child’s birth to be heralded with any sort of celebration at a religious institution because that is not what I (or my husband) believe in.
I’m having a hard time articulating my thoughts on this to my husband and am looking for any words of wisdom from people who have had experience communicating their intentions and their preferences on religion to their immediate families successfully.