(Closed) Taboo question, but I’m curious….

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever had the "this is the last person I will ever have sex with" thought before wedding?
    GUILTY! : (37 votes)
    54 %
    No way, you crazy girl!! : (30 votes)
    43 %
    other : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Well I mean I thought about it, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I am perfectly happy having my husband be the only person I have sex with for the rest of my life.

    No, you won’t really have that “new relationship” feeling anymore, but it will be replaced with the feeling of long-lasting, growing, strengthened love, which I think is much more rewarding than the fleeting sensations of a “first kiss”.

    ETA: Really good article on Offbeat Bride about this subject: http://offbeatbride.com/2010/07/romance-in-marriage

    Post # 4
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @Legallyblondiebride:  Of course you’re not a bad person for having that thought!!!  It’s important to think about these things before making such a big commitment.


    Post # 5
    3000 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @DeathByDesign:  I agree.

    I’ve thought about it, but not like “Oh crap he’s the only guy I’ll ever sleep with again!”… but more like “Wow, I’m so lucky I know we’ll be able to grow our relationship and he’s the only one I’ll be with for the rest of my life”… if that makes sense.

    Post # 6
    688 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think that sounds like human nature. I don’t have those particular thoughts exaclty but I have had my own “this-is-it-ahh” type freakouts earlier in our engagement.

    I think it’s normal to go through all the things that are going to go away or change, in order to make a good decision about committing to each other. The first datey type butterlfies and stuff are really fun, but I do think the longterm love is better and irreplaceable

    Post # 7
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’ve never thought that way as far as sex goes…in my experience, the firs time having sex with a guy is typically nerve-wracking and, well, kind of awkward, no matter how good it is. But I know what you’re saying as far as the butterflies and the first kiss and everything…despite never wanting to experience either with another guy, it would be nice to just re-have them with Darling Husband whenever I wanted, haha.

    Post # 9
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’ve thought that… but in a very happy way! 😀

    Post # 10
    9627 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Nope, never thought about it.  I’ve already had plenty before him, lol.  And he is the best, by far, so I’m very content for him to be the last one.

    Post # 11
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yes, but it’s kind of a nice feeling, IMO. 🙂

    Also, plenty of people are happily “monogamish,” in Dan Savage’s words. Not to revive the “if you have a threesome you will divorce and you’re going to hell” thread, but these things are an option for some folks.

    Post # 12
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    yes!! And I’m sooo happy he’s the last guy I get to sleep with!

    Post # 13
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Definitely as a happy thought!


    Post # 14
    5287 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Hm, while I was cognizant of this fact it did not bother me. I have had plenty of experiences by the time my husband and I met and felt quite comfortable and very happy with my sex life with Darling Husband, and don’t really miss “first kisses” and that kind of thing.  I was already prepared for him to to be the last one, as I already felt we were life partners before we actually married.

    I’d rather have our deeply committed, authentic, honest love based on really knowing each other, than a lifetime more of “new loves”. I never had anything with anyone else I ever met like I have with Darling Husband, and to be quite honest, I kind of doubt I ever would.

    Darling Husband is pretty darn romantic though, even if we aren’t a brand new couple. I actually appreciate his romance even more now, as it is not just trying to impress me as a new partner, and it comes from a much more authentic place. But even more than that, he is REAL with me. He is honest with his feelings. He shares wtih me and is very open with me. Like that article in Offbeat Bride, it is more REAL, and that is a very beautiful and romantic thing in itself. I DO get tingly and excited with him still!

    Darling Husband did kind of lament the inability to experience the “new” ever again, since he is eternally curious, but also thinks the trade off is worth it and I have no doubt about him being happily commited to me, even if sometimes he jokingly refers to the shackles of marriage that mean monogamy (for our relationship anyway).

    Post # 15
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Not at all.

    The topic ‘Taboo question, but I’m curious….’ is closed to new replies.

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