- 7 years ago
I’v never written like this before but I have the loveliest partner, and the most difficult family situation. BF and i met at university and have been together for nearly four years. During this time there have been a lot of changes to my life and he has been the most amazing support. We have lived together for at least three of those years. I lost my younger sister six months before we graduated, which was the most devistating thing in the world to me, I had always helped care for her (severe disabilities, quadriplegic). BF was very supportive of me and my family, including my little brother who is only fourteen, which is very important to me. In the year after my sister’s death, my dad became very verbally and emotionally abusive to my mother and brother and his drinking got out of hand, he has since done a rehab program but is continuing to think he can drink. (he has moved out of the family house, thank god, and is going through financial separation from my mum, which is also really important for everyone’s sanity) I haven’t lived in the family house since i was 17 when i moved out to go to uni. We have all seen therapists, but I am increasingly wanting less to do with him.
I am now thinking about taking on a Masters course but am using this time while i work full time to get our (BF and I) lives together a little more on track. To top things off, his family hasn’t been very welcoming, they think i am snobby, even though i was so excited about the possibility of being part of anther family. BF’s sister has drug issues and BF’s parents have custody of her child (BF’s niece), his brother is immature and unfriendly to me.
Despite all this he is the love and light of my life, we are wanting to get engaged and he is paying off a ring that we chose together. (sorry for all the back story but felt it was important)
Every time I start thinking about how we would go about an engagement party or heaven forbid a wedding I get myself in a knot about how on earth everyone will come together (we tried to introduce our respective parents to each other at our university graduation and it didn’t go so well) How could we invite my dad or BF’s sister if there is even a drop of alcohol involved! I am also understandably touchy about other people’s drinking- drunk people upset me (after having lived with dad as an alcoholic.) Also with my mum’s marriage ending i don’t know how to talk to her about wanting to start one.
ps. Im 22, please don’t rant about my age, I am coping with more than most of my friends my age and don’t feel i am typically immature. BF is older than me but we meet somewher in the middle i like to think.