(Closed) Tacky is tacky

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree. Look at all the related posts with the T word in the title!

Post # 4
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Agreed. There is a huge difference between resorting to the word “tacky” in every other sentence like alot of people do and refuse to change their ways and using a different word like “rude, improper, etc” that isn’t hurtful, whether in the written word that can easily be misinterpreted or not. On the same token, there is a vast difference between calling something tacky because it is a breach of etiquette and thus impedes on the guests’ comfort (they should just use a different word but they won’t) and calling it tacky because it’s something that the reader isn’t used to in their own social circle or family therefore anything different is automatically wrong and not acceptable. So many people do the latter that it isn’t funny. Not here particularly but on wedding communities in general. It would also help if folks taught manners (to their children who are the adults of this generation and those of the next) but that’s a lost art too.

Post # 5
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am with you.  I won’t even type it on here.  In response to the dollar dance post, I wrote it as “t****”

 

Post # 6
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I disagree – most posts I read with ‘tacky’ in them really want to know if what they are asking is tacky (ie: showing poor taste).  When you read the responses, most are filled with helpful advice (showing both the pros or cons to a situation).

I see WB as a community for support and advice – so we can all think through decisions we are making.  As long as the advice is in good taste (and not snarky), I don’t see why anyone would take offense.  Something I find beautiful, you may find in poor taste.  Just because you do or do not use ‘tacky’ doesn’t change the sentiment behind what’s being said… meaning, I think you can still be gracious and use ‘tacky’ appropriately.

 

Post # 7
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ditto ladies.

BTW, @ heathaah: Nice snuggy avatar! :oP

I am actually embracing the tack at my reception. We’re going to have all the married ladies fight for the bouquet and then have them put the garter on their husbands! Hilarious tack.

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I always made the personal opinion that the word tacky doesn’t apply to something cultural to THAT person. It’s like there’s a “tacky only if you’re not X culture” bubble

What is tacky in “my” cultural opinion is not in someone else’s opinion. But hey, there are lots of word for tacky. And they all kinda mean the same thing

I think the context is more important. But i don’t really get ruffled by “tacky” and use it where I see fit when the questionj is asked of me. I don’t just offer blatantly that someone’s idea is tacky unless they specifically ask if the hive thinks it’s tacky. And i usually make a point to preface any cultural norms I’m aware of. To each their own I guess.

Post # 11
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

As far as cultural things go, here’s how I see it: “Everyone in our area does the dollar dance, it’s expected!” Probably not tacky.  “Has anyone ever heard of the dollar dance?  I just read about it and I want to do it!” Tacky.  I think if someone is about to really upset their guests (and in that last instance, none of their guests would be expecting a dollar dance) they need to be told BEFORE they go ahead and do it.  I’d rather hear that I have an offensive idea from internet strangers than hear it from my guests after the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

@Marigold, even if it was outright rudeness, I would still not use the T word. There’s no reason to and it’s not sugar-coating either to say something is rude or improper, because it is. The polar opposite of proper and acceptable is improprer. There isn’t any middle ground. The person on the other end will decide for themselves whether or not to go along with their original idea and you can’t stop them even if it something that would get you tarred and feathered by your own family and friends.

Yes, there is the argument that if you are going to be online that you need to have a thick skin because you can get away with saying stuff that you wouldn’t dare to in a real life conversation, but that still shouldn’t matter. WB is supposed to be a friendly helpful environment that doesn’t rag on each other the way other wedding communities tend to, and when the T word is used, it really scratches the surface of feeling like you’re in the other environment instead of what WB should be like. Why not everyone make an effort to be tactful and helpful to others and find an alternative to the T word when the situation arises.

Post # 13
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Thank you MARIGOLD!  I agree 100%!  There is so much I didn’t know about weddings before getting engaged growing “wedding brain” and I’d hate to be labeled w/ the T word because I did something wrong in someone else’s book.  What’s important to me is that my fiance and I will be happily married w/ the friends and family we love to be there to witness it… We can’t always do everything the way the books and websites suggest, but the people we invited will be there cause they know and love us for who we are and won’t be judging details like that!

Post # 14
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My favorite thing about the word tacky is all the related tacky posts at the bottom of the thread. Makes me want to laugh!

My mother had a saying:

“It’s not wrong, it’s just different.”

I think if you look at anything with that mindset, nothing is tacky. It’s unique!

Post # 15
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Not to mention, the folks who do judge with only the T word won’t even be attending so their opinions don’t really matter in the end as long as you are being courteous to your guests as any good host/ess will do.

Post # 16
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I JUST wrote that on the end of another thread using the word tacky! totally agree ๐Ÿ˜›

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