Post # 1
Well, I got myself into a pickle. Several months ago, when first discussing wedding plans, and in particular hotel arrangements with my mom, I told her no one would be staying at the house with us the night ahead of the wedding so we could have a quiet evening, get to bed early and have a good rest – not have to think about entertaining anyone at our home. So, a few days ago, me and my big mouth invited a very close friend to stay with us the night ahead of the wedding. I just wasn’t thinking. This friend is very considerate and quiet, and even though my mom knows the friend would be thoughtful and is easy to have around, mom wants me to disinvite the friend and ask her to instead stay at a nearby hotel – which isn’t entirely a bad idea as this friend has various family members staying there, one of whom thought she would have a roommate but doesn’t. Is there a tactful way of suggesting the friend stay with her relative? I absolutely hate disinviting someone. I pretty much have to though, as mom is high strung and just won’t let my mistake go. Ugh. FWIW, the room cost would not be an issue as the relative already at the hotel is in the wedding party, and we are covering all hotel costs for the (small) wedding party. Thanks for any suggestions, wise bees.
Post # 2
I dont think it should be a huge issue if it she would be sharing the room with her relative and the cost of the room has already been covered. You can simply explain what you said earlier, you and FI just want some quiet time alone before the wedding. Apologize and let her know there are alternative accommodations already arranged not too far away. I think if she is a very close friend she should be understanding and not too bothered.
Hope it all works out!
Post # 3
Astra: Agree with PP, just politely explain the situation, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a quiet night alone before the wedding! I certainly wouldn’t be offended, i’d actually probably prefer to be out of the couples way that close to the wedding if I wasn’t in the wedding party otherwise i’d feel like I was imposing! She may be happy there is another option 🙂
Post # 4
Is it your house? Or your family’s house? You said your mom wants you to uninvite her but what do you want to do? I don’t think your mom should get to dictate who gets to stay at your house.
If you don’t want her to stay there just explain that you want the night to be just you and FI. I’m sure most people would understand that.
Post # 5
Since you are not telling your mom to mind her business lol, just go back to the friend with, “on second thought, with all the wedding stuff going on we just want an empty house to relax in before the big day.” I don’t think this will be a problem at all. Most people understand having guests over is a big inconvenience especially during a big event.