(Closed) Tactful or Tacky? Engagement Ring – Mom's Diamond

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i dont think its tacky at all.

Post # 4
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think it’s tacky. I’d just say “Hey Mom, Dad made a suggestion about the ring he bought for you. If you still have it, what do you think about passing it down? It would mean a lot to me.” It’s not YOUR idea (it was your Dad’s). If you aren’t comfortable with asking her, maybe he could talk to her about it? It would be super sentimental and maybe she’s not even thinking you might want it!

Post # 6
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s your own mother. Not tacky at all. But I guess if you’re not close to your mom it might come off a little weird to her.

Post # 7
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

haha awesome ideas with PP!

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think it’s extremely sweet – and a nice way of “rehabilitating” the ring after your parents went their separate ways. (FWIW, I think the generosity of spirit that would come with such a gift would more than outweigh any possible “bad karma”)

Post # 9
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@inky_1:  Hehe, yep…throw Dad under the bus! 🙂 What a great story though…his whole baseball collection!! How cute is that?

Post # 10
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

I think it sounds like a great idea since everyone gets along so well.  I am sure she would be happy to pass it down to you if she still has it. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
13891 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont see why it’d be tacky.

Post # 12
Member
2858 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s your mom, so I wouldn’t think it tacky at all. It’s not like she’s using it anymore, right? She’d probably be happy to gift it to you. If it was an aunt or anyone OTHER than one of your parents, then yes I’d say it’s tacky.

The issue here for me though would be: are you an only child? If you have one or more brothers then I’d say you could still ask. If you have one or more sisters….I don’t know what I’d tell you to do. I will say that it might cause discord between you and your sister(s) if you ask for it and you receive it. I’d hope that your sisters would be happy for you, but you’d be running the risk of some jealousy/resentment there. As in “why’d SHE get it?”. I have a friend whose mother is estranged from all 3 of her sisters because when their mother died she left this one daughter her wedding ring and engagement ring and all the other sisters were upset about it (even though they each received something else of significance….but I guess they all wanted the rings).

Post # 15
Hostess
13662 posts
Honey Beekeeper

No way is it cursed. That’s really sweet, and a great way to incorporate your family into your engagement. I say talk to your momma!

Post # 16
Member
2858 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@inky_1:  

Then I say “go for it”! I think she’ll be really pleased and flattered that you wear it, if she still has it. One of the reasons I love my e-ring so much is the thought that it’s so classic that I can probably pass it down to a daughter or granddaughter someday (hopefully!).

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