Weddingbee boards

Hi Bees,

I'm just really starting planning for my summer 2011 wedding. In general, my mom has been very supportive, but I can already see the possibility for tension to arise. As some background, my mom and I tend to get along very well, but we are both super sensitive about each other's tone of voice/what we say to each other. Sometimes, if I say something very neutral/benign/inoffensive to her, she'll easily get upset (whereas, if my sister said the same thing, it would never be an issue). Similarly, when she gets demanding, I tend to snap a little. I don't know why we're this way, but we seem to have this effect on each other.

I love my mom very much and value her opinion. I want minimal drama with this wedding, so I'm trying super hard to be less sensitive and to not overreact when my mom says things I disagree with. I felt it start to happen this morning when she started talking about how she was going to ask my cousin to do my flowers (I don't really know this cousin at all, but she used to be in the business and still does some work on the side) and then started telling me who she wanted to add to my already out of control guest list. My blood started boiling a little and I got a little bit snippy before I chilled out. SO, my question is, how do I remember to STAY CALM but also not let mom steamroll me? Thanks so much!

Before you say anything, take a deep breath. Then calmly state your side/ides/wants. This is your wedding, you should have what you want, but just keep your voice controlled. I know it's rewally hard- I have the same problem. This approach helps me.

Thanks ladies for the great advice!

FYI, Mom is helping with some of the budget (and we really appreciate it!) but FI & I are covering most of it.