Post # 1
After finding a venue I really like, my father told me that I don’t HAVE to use the money he is giving me for my wedding and that I can use it for something else. A part of me doesn’t really believe him and thinks that maybe he is just offering it as an option but would be upset if we took it. HOWEVER the other part of me (the frugal and practical side that usually dominates) wants to just have a really small wedding and use the money to pay off debt, then take a small honeymoon somewhere.
I would really appreciate ANY advice!
Post # 3
Well if i had any debt, i’d pay that sucker off and scale back on the wedding. Otherwise debt goes into your marriage and it’ll take forever to pay off =(.
Would you be ok with a small wedding?
Post # 4
hmm…well what kind of debt are you talking? my dad joked with me that we could just go to Vegas for super cheap and he’d give me the money that I would have spent on the wedding to use for my student loans. I only considered it for like .01 seconds b/c my student loans are ridiculous and that would have only put a dent in it, but those loans have managable payments per month. If I was in financial trouble with credit cards or something I may have considered it for real but my debt isn’t killing me and I’d rather have the wedding I pictured.
Post # 5
I agree with ejs4y8. You can make a small wedding very sweet and personal and have a load off your shoulders for the rest of your life. Right now (and I’m sure your numbers are higher than mine) my fiance and I have $3k saved for our wedding. And I can’t tell you the amount of times I look at it and think we could be going to Europe.
Post # 6
Well we already have a joint account so our debt is basically together already. We have payment schedules planned out and are slowly but surely chipping away at it. I’m a really practical person and never spend much money on myself. The dedt incurred was from car trouble, not from overspending or anything lavish. My Fiance really wants this day to be about us and since we have a good plan for taking care of the debt, he wants me to have my dream wedding.
I think I would be ok with a small wedding but I waiver on that b/c it’s never what I envisioned.
The thing is I already felt guilty about spending a lot of money on one day, and now that it’s an option to spend it on paying off some debt I feel even MORE guilty spending it on myself.
Post # 7
From reading your follow-up post, my opinion is to use the money for the wedding. If your waivering now imagine how you’ll feel after the decision is made? It seems like you have a plan for paying off the debt and the money was originally offered for you to have your wedding not pay off debt. Unless you just tell your dad thanks but no thanks to the money your going to have to use it somewhere right? If you worry about the guilt think about it as spending the money for EVERYONE to have a good time, not just for you and your fiance!
Post # 8
i think it just depends on what you want. you only get married once (hopefully), so if you are excited for a wedding i’d have one.
my dad gave us the same option, he gave us a set amount and said spend it on a wedding or keep it. my husband wanted the big wedding, i wanted to elope, so we comprimised on a tiny wedding, and i’m soooo glad we have the extra money now to start our lives out.
Post # 9
I think you should have the wedding you want. You’ll only get married once.
Post # 10
Lydia, I have a close friend whose father did the same thing. They chose to have a smaller wedding and spent the rest on a downpayment on a house. I bet your father means it; he’s just leaving it up to you as to how you think the money should be used.
Post # 11
Personally, I think you should have the wedding you want, and if there is money left over, use it for the debt. Usually I would say, pay off the debt, but since you’re wavering about it and you are able to manage your debt with the plan you laid out, then I would have the wedding you and you Fiance want. It would really suck to wake up and regret what you chose because it wasn’t really want you wanted.
Post # 12
Pay off the loans and have a small wedding. If you’re waivering on it, that might suggest you are not positive this “dream wedding” is actually what you’re dreaming about. A wedding is one day. Starting your marriage debt free is going to effect more than one day.
Post # 13
Having just gotten married last weekend, take the money and run! Have a small wedding with your parents, siblings, best friends and have dinner at a swanky restaurant. Buy a casual pretty white dress and get married before hand at city hall or a park or something with only a minister. You’ll save so much money! Our wedding was 9$ and it still cost more than we thought!
Post # 14
I’m just not a fan of indulging when other financial obligations are present and I think the “you only live once” isn’t always financially sound because while the wedding is only one day, paying off that debt will take so long.
Post # 15
My parents told me the same thing… I start thinking man I could really use that money for a new washer and dryer and this and that but at the end of the day I know I would really regret missing out on my “big” day. From reading your posts I can see that you would regret it too… people who have destination and or tiny weddings typically envision that as their wedding. If you have always dreamed of a beautiful dress and a roomful of adoring family members gawking at your beauty, I would stick to the traditional wedding =)
Post # 16
You know what, I find the weddings are more for the guests than the bride and groom. We are going to have a backyard wedding but we are not taking any shortcuts. We will have about 30 people at our wedding and still have the breath taking decorations, dress, rings, cakes etc. All we changed was how many people we are inviting and where we are doing the wedding.
The thousands we are saving is going straight into a downpayment for our first house.