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Taking a break from the hive

posted 1 year ago in Beehive
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    1.
    Member
    2,525 posts
    Sugar bee
    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    Often, I think these kinds of posts are a bit melodramatic. I've read "goodbye threads" before and secretly wondered if the poster was looking for attention. But I truly consider the hive to be a group of friends and I feel that I can't disappear without an explanation. Perhaps I am not as important around here as I think I am, and you wouldn't notice my absence, but more than anything I think this thread could start a conversation about a few things that I know I am not alone in.

    The biggest thing I am experiencing is post wedding depression. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my wedding. But I think I did what so many say they won't do, and I became obsessed. Now that I am coming back down to earth, I have conflicted feelings. Part of me feels silly for how big of a deal I made it in the first place, for how much drama I caused between myself and my husband, myself and my mother. Part of me feels like I should have done much more. It should have been better. At one point, I thought I would be on this blog's Real Wedding feature, I was that confident in my taste and wedding style. Now, looking back, while the emotions of our wedding day were extraordinary, the event itself was ordinary. And that's okay! Weddings happen EVERY DAY and that's a happy thing. Still, I miss feeling like my wedding was the only wedding in the world, and being on here exacerbates that feeling of sadness.

    Secondly, I have recently moved to a new city with my husband, and I think I have relied on the Internet too much for social interaction and entertainment. Wow, I sound like a big loser when I say that! But I am already really into Twitter and Facebook, so when you throw these addictive boards into the mix, I can easily sit in front of my computer for hours on end. I just got a job, but for the month and a half that I was unemployed, DH would come home from work at 3pm to find me still in my pajamas, still on the computer, right where he left me. I don't like that being who I am.

    And its not just about being lazy. I started turning to Weddingbee for advice on topics that I honestly should have kept between myself and my friends, family and husband. Some of you may recall a recent thread regarding my unhappiness with some aspects of our wedding photography. Unfortunately, someone who read the thread alerted my photographer and it made for a very awkward situation with her. She was rightly upset and I was rightly embarrassed. I should have dealt with it with her and allowed her to address my concerns before airing it on a public forum. There have been other examples of this in my personal life as well to lesser degrees of awkwardness, and in retrospect, I have become too comfortable putting myself out there on this forum. One of the great things about the hive is it feels like such a tight-knit community, but anyone can read this. 

    As much as I love it here, and as much as I love being able to share my advice with all of you now that I'm married, I think I need to take a break. I still hope to post my professional wedding pictures once they are all sorted out, and its not as if I will never be here again. But I think my days of prolific posting have come to an end.

    And you know what would be nice? If you all could keep me accountable. That sounds kind of dumb but if you notice me posting up a storm again, you should definitely not be afraid to message me and say, "Hey, what happened to that break?" Because I really need it. I hope one day I can come back in full force once I've gained some perspective.

    Anyway, thanks for being so awesome, hive. <3

     
    2.
    Bee
    3,665 posts
    Sugar bee
    hermitcrab    June 2010   NYC

    Thank you for being here!  You have been a great source of support and inspiration and you will be missed - but, though, I can't speak for anyone but myself, I totally understand why you need a break, and you will always have a home here!  Good luck to life in the new city!

     
    3.
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    Bumble bee
    mcnetn3    August 13, 2011   North Carolina

    Good luck in your new city and re-focusing on the things that are important in your life.

     
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    7,296 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    Gemstone    July 2011   Cincinnati

    I am sorry to see you go, buti understand your reasons entirely. In fact, you've voiced many of the fears I myself have for when my wedding is over, when it comes to the hive at least. It's a major transition to go from engaged+planning a wedding to married and no longer planning a wedding. I wish you the best of luck with your new husband and new married life!

     
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    Blushing bee
    flakeofsnow    1/9/2010  

    Good luck with your new adventure!  I recommend having someone change your user information and deleting your account - until you are ready they should be able to put it on inactive status.

     
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    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    FutureMrs.Wood    July 30, 2011   Pittsburgh, PA

    I haven't had the chance to get to know you; however, that was a very well written and touching post, and from it, I feel as if I have known you for quite some time!  Coming from an English teacher, it is a talent to create such emotion in your writing.  I know that may sound odd and as if it is coming out of left field, but I just had to tell you!  I wish nothing but the best for you :)

     
    7.
    Bee
    3,754 posts
    Honey bee
    misspug      

    thank you for letting us know what's going on with you and why you are taking what sounds like a very understandable and well-contemplated break. all the changes can definitely be difficult--a big event that we spent so much time planning is now over, you're adjusting to married life, and no less in a new city. i think it's very self-aware and mature of you to take a big step that will be best for you in the long run.

    i'm not a big commenter on the boards, but i lurk, and i'll miss you!

     
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    1,607 posts
    Bumble bee
    dance    July 23, 2011   Alberta, Canada

    Well said! I have only been around for a few months, but I have enjoyed reading your posts and responses!  I completely understand why this break is necessary, and while I do hope you visit from time to time, I wish you find happiness in your new job and married life!  Best of luck to you :)

     
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    5,514 posts
    Bee Keeper
    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    Thank you for your continual transparency and best of luck to you!

     
    10.
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    Bee
    6,485 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trailmix      

    We'll definitely miss you, don't be a complete stranger, if you can help it! 

    Also, I saw your wedding photos and they were gorgeous, definitely worthy of being a Real Wedding Feature! I think you should defnitely apply for it (if that's how the process works, not sure for the Real Wedding features!)

    All the best...

     
    11.
    Member
    3,319 posts
    Sugar bee
    mishelleez    November 5, 2010   DW- Bahamas

    We'll miss you but again I totally understand its really hard to remember this is a public forum b/c you see the same girls on all the time. Hope you come back now and then!

     
    12.
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    Bee
    879 posts
    Busy bee
    oyster    July 2010   Dallas

    I'll miss you! I've enjoyed following your planning process, and for what it's worth, I thought your wedding was absolutely gorgeous and very stylish!

     
    13.
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    342 posts
    Helper bee
    SM1982    January 1, 1991  

    Please don't leave!  I loved your wedding pictures btw.

     
    14.
    Member
    2,525 posts
    Sugar bee
    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    @SM1982: I haven't done a super good job staying away ;) I've cut back considerably though and its worked wonders, so I am going to continue to seriously limit my board time. But thank you for your kind words!

     

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