- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
Often, I think these kinds of posts are a bit melodramatic. I’ve read “goodbye threads” before and secretly wondered if the poster was looking for attention. But I truly consider the hive to be a group of friends and I feel that I can’t disappear without an explanation. Perhaps I am not as important around here as I think I am, and you wouldn’t notice my absence, but more than anything I think this thread could start a conversation about a few things that I know I am not alone in.
The biggest thing I am experiencing is post wedding depression. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved my wedding. But I think I did what so many say they won’t do, and I became obsessed. Now that I am coming back down to earth, I have conflicted feelings. Part of me feels silly for how big of a deal I made it in the first place, for how much drama I caused between myself and my husband, myself and my mother. Part of me feels like I should have done much more. It should have been better. At one point, I thought I would be on this blog’s Real Wedding feature, I was that confident in my taste and wedding style. Now, looking back, while the emotions of our wedding day were extraordinary, the event itself was ordinary. And that’s okay! Weddings happen EVERY DAY and that’s a happy thing. Still, I miss feeling like my wedding was the only wedding in the world, and being on here exacerbates that feeling of sadness.
Secondly, I have recently moved to a new city with my husband, and I think I have relied on the Internet too much for social interaction and entertainment. Wow, I sound like a big loser when I say that! But I am already really into Twitter and Facebook, so when you throw these addictive boards into the mix, I can easily sit in front of my computer for hours on end. I just got a job, but for the month and a half that I was unemployed, DH would come home from work at 3pm to find me still in my pajamas, still on the computer, right where he left me. I don’t like that being who I am.
And its not just about being lazy. I started turning to Weddingbee for advice on topics that I honestly should have kept between myself and my friends, family and husband. Some of you may recall a recent thread regarding my unhappiness with some aspects of our wedding photography. Unfortunately, someone who read the thread alerted my photographer and it made for a very awkward situation with her. She was rightly upset and I was rightly embarrassed. I should have dealt with it with her and allowed her to address my concerns before airing it on a public forum. There have been other examples of this in my personal life as well to lesser degrees of awkwardness, and in retrospect, I have become too comfortable putting myself out there on this forum. One of the great things about the hive is it feels like such a tight-knit community, but anyone can read this.
As much as I love it here, and as much as I love being able to share my advice with all of you now that I’m married, I think I need to take a break. I still hope to post my professional wedding pictures once they are all sorted out, and its not as if I will never be here again. But I think my days of prolific posting have come to an end.
And you know what would be nice? If you all could keep me accountable. That sounds kind of dumb but if you notice me posting up a storm again, you should definitely not be afraid to message me and say, “Hey, what happened to that break?” Because I really need it. I hope one day I can come back in full force once I’ve gained some perspective.
Anyway, thanks for being so awesome, hive. <3