(Closed) Taking back an offer

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Given that you’ve had a falling out I sincerely doubt she’s going to come up to you and say “remember a year ago when you said you wanted me to be in your wedding? Yeah, I want in!” Since you haven’t asked and she hasn’t mentioned it, I imagine you’re in the clear as far as that is concerned.

That being said, you may want to speak to her briefly about it. Yes, it will be difficult and awkward, but it’s important to make sure that both of you are on the same page. It will prevent a lot of drama (especially within the family), and you’ll feel better having the air clear. If a year ago you explicitly asked her to be in your wedding, I suggest wording it in such a way that gives her an out.

I’m in a similiar situation right now, and I know how difficult it is to think that you’ll ever want to be around this person again, let alone be friends with them. But you’ll feel better once it’s all squared away and who knows? Maybe the two of you will come out stronger than you were before. Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 4
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think its probably a given that she won’t be your Maid/Matron of Honor, so i don’t think you would owe her an explanation.  You have time until your wedding so maybe by then you girls can make amends, but don’t do it because you have to, do it because you want to!  Just forcing the issue might come across as being fake so just do it when your ready, it’ll be more sincere!

Post # 6
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Not quite as severe- but I always wanted a very small wedding party..but i compromised with the fiance to have 5 bridesmaids as he had close friends he wanted in the wedding

so I invited my four best friends and one friend that I get along with great but i didn’t know very well.. now that the months are passing she is turning out to be a bit of a pain in the [email protected]$.. wanting to be involved in everything, complaining about the bridesmaids dress color..I dont know what to do besides grin and bear it

Post # 8
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I never had a falling out with the first person I asked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor… the first time I was engaged. 😉 When that wedding was called off, my whole life changed, and she was one of the friends I lost touch with. A couple of years ago we started talking again, and we’re not as close anymore but I still consider her to be a very important friend… so I asked her to be a bridesmaid. 😉 She wasn’t offended.

If we HAD had a falling out, there is no way I would have wanted her to be Maid/Matron of Honor, and I wouldn’t have asked and she wouldn’t have expected. Being invited to a wedding is already an honor; being asked to be a member of the wedding party isn’t something you should do for someone who you’re not totally comfortable having stand up for you on your wedding day. Make up when you’re ready to make up.

Post # 9
5 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

Your life will change and so will  your friends as you grow older. Choose a Maid/Matron of Honor that is important to you. It is your wedding and it is better you have someone standing next to you that will be there for you and your marriage. I had a friend who was a Maid/Matron of Honor in the past for a engagement I had yrs ago (didn’t get married that time) but this time around, she wasn’t even on my list. I haven’t spoken to her in yrs. There was no way I was calling her up. Pick who you want as a Maid/Matron of Honor and make sure they mean something special to you. I have friends who flip through their wedding pics and say “Why in the hell did I pick her?” LOL.

Post # 10
5 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

actually i have sort of a similar situation my sister was asked to be my moh we are very close and always have been , well a few months before the wedding we had a huge falling out and she backed out of the wedding, for emotional and logistical reasons i had to ask someone else to be my moh.  we then made up i’m she will be standing up but not as my moh…it has caused many hurt feelings on both sides but i think it has worked out for the best and i’m sefinately glad we reconciled. if you were close enough with this girl to ask her a year ago to be your moh i think it would be worth trying to work things out

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