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Taking former anniversary into account?

posted 8 months ago in Encore
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    Sugaree      

    Is anyone else planning on getting married on a date close to your first marriage's anniversary?  Or avoiding that month completely?

    We are talking about dates for eloping (even though he still needs to officially ask first...lol).  We're both back in school at the moment.  I'm thinking spring break in March.  If that doesn't work then graduation is in May.  My first anniversary was in May (Marry in May and rue the day...) so I'm thinking about pushing it back until at least June. 

     
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    Honey bee
    lefeymw    April 16, 2011   CT

    I am not an encore bride but I have a thought on this.

    Usually someone avoids a date because they want to respect it. Like someone elses wedding, birthday, holiday etc.

    Are you trying to show respect to your old anniversary? To me its a marriage that did not work, despite how well or not well it ended and therefore it no longer holds weight in current decisions.

    I could understand not wanting to get married on the same day (bad memories/luck whatever), but I think the same month or even near the same day would be fine.

    The date should be a date that works for you two.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    PutABirdOnIt    December 30, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    We took that into consideration.  My first wedding was in October (which I love) and his was in September so I knew those were out.  My first alternate was July but we ended up with December for logistical reasons.

    But yeah, I would have felt weird getting married again in the same month as my first marriage.  I like the idea of starting fresh:)

     
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    Busy bee
    Keisha In Love    March 31, 2012   Chicago, Illinois

    To be honest, I never even thought of it..... hmmmm- i'm going to have to ask my sweetie (he is an encore too) if it was a consideration for him...

     
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    Buzzing bee
    eeniebeans    October 9, 2010   Baltimore

    First wedding was in February, 2nd time was in October.  I think I would have avoided the whole month of the first anniversary... but thats just me.

     
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    Blushing bee
    LauraBenbow71    April 12, 2012  

    ha ha this is a brill post as it caused me all kinds of headaches. my 2nd wedding will be 20 years and 18 days after the first one.

    i so did not want august so as to not rub my daughters fathers (my ex) nose in it as she will be our MOH and there is a big age gap between me and FI 

     

    BUT i also need a summer wedding due to my disability and i have a number of children in the wedding party so we went for summer holidays next year

     

     
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    Wannabee
    heatherc234    October 5, 2012   New York

    What's funny is my FI and I started dating on the same date as me and my ex-husband.  Their birthday's are also close too.  I'm taking it as I was supposed to meet the right one on that date, just got the year wrong! LOL

     

    FI and I just got engaged and decided on an Oct 5th wedding in 2012.  Married my ex in August.  I will never do a summer wedding again.  Way too hot and sticky.

     

    Congrats!  I don't think getting married close to the first one's date is a problem.  Good luck!

     
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    Helper bee
    BabyBoecksMom    April 23, 2011   Spring, TX (DW in Destin, FL)

    Actually, I got married a couple weeks after the date from my first marriage.  I wanted to avoid it, but it just ended up that it was the best time of year for us to do it. 

     
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    Helper bee
    thirdtimebride    November 2, 2013   Tallahassee, FL

    It occurred to me, after we'd settled on our date, that it was within a week of my 2nd wedding date (which was also, due to court scheduling, our divorce date). But we picked this date because of it being the anniversary of our first date and we'll stick with it. The past will fade (and I'm the only one who really remembers it and only at times).

     
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    Helper bee
    december bride    December 2, 2011   Austin, Texas

    Funny - it was a big deal to me that I didn't get maried on the same day as the first go round but I never asked him what his anniversary was.  Now I don't think I want to know ...

     
    11.
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    Worker bee
    charmed59    August 2012  

    I'm thinking this question wasn't meant for widows, but yes, I would work around my wedding anniversary.

     
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    Helper bee
    GingerMac    June 1, 2012   Bemidji, MN

    Aye, orginally I told him June was out of the question, but it ended up being the best option, so we just made sure the previous date wasn't the same and didn't worry about it further.

     
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    Beekeeper
    HappilyEverAfter54    June 23, 2012   Central Pennsylvania

    I wasn't married but when I was engaged previously we booked the church for October. So when my FI proposed to me he said we can get married any month besides October. I think he cared about that more than I did but that's also because my ex was bothering us at the time. My FI was married too before and it was either in June or July I didn't ask but he doesn't care about that one as much as my ex and I's wedding date.

     
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    Blushing bee
    Jennawesbren    May 12, 2012   Iowa

    Didn't purposefully avoid it and obviously we didn't put a huge amount of thought into the date at all, we picked the same day as my first just a different month. I have no clue what his old anniversary is.

     
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    Helper bee
    Ms. Peach    September 24, 2011   Chicago

    I'm not an encore, but DH is. In some ways I wish I didn't know his first wedding's date, but I'm one of those people who has to pick at things, so I asked when we were newly dating. Now, I'm the one who always remembers the date when it rolls around! lol! He says he doesn't think of it anymore.

    It was easy for me to avoid August as a wedding month for us, because I never wanted a summer wedding. Even if I had though, I would have avoided it. It just seems like bad mojo.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    o0olibelulao0o    April 14, 2012   Texas Hill Country

    FI was married in April (he doesn't remember what day exactly, he thinks it was the 30th) and we are getting married April 14th, it doesn't bother me, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't the same day. lol

     
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    Busy bee
    AirForceWife78    October 19, 2013   Live in Colorado Springs, CO. Wedding in Madera, CA

    I don't think I ever told FI when my first anniversary was, but our wedding is no where near it on purpose!

     
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    Bee Keeper
    amnystik    April 9, 2011   Texas

    I was previously married and it wasn't until AFTER DH and I were married that I realized my previous "anniversary" is VERY close to DH and my annivesary. Like less than a weeks apart.

    I may have thought about it more if the Saturday we needed ended up being the same, but since it wasn't I really just didn't think about it.

    Maybe b/c I had been divorced for 5 years? idk... I didn't think it was that big of a deal though. lol

     
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    Bumble bee
    mypinkshoes    April 28, 2012   mexico/ontario

    we avoided our old anniversaries.  we had both been married before...on the exact same day.  yes, same day, same year, same city.  actually, same time only blocks away from each other, marrying someone different.  we laugh about it.

    needless to say we won't be marrying in june again.  we picked april.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    MrsBlueSeptember    September 30, 2012  

    We talked about it, but in the end picked a date that was a week after the anniversary for my last marriage.  We wanted to keep it around our current anniversary and with birthdays, holidays and everything else...it was the best decision for us. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    MrsBlueSeptember    September 30, 2012  

    @mypinkshoes:  Wow!  That is kind of freaky!

     
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    Bumble bee
    MilksMom    June 23, 2012   Richmond, VA

    I don't think I could be a June bride again.  I can see where PPs mention not being able to do the same month.

     
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    Helper bee
    mrs_g.mck    July 14, 2012   Stoneham, MA

    I am not an encore bride but I used to be friends with this girl who purposely got married on her husband's anniversary to his first wife. The first wife that he cheated on my "friend" with while they were engaged! And it was on a Tuesday. And they eloped. It wasn't like it was the only day available. She did (I think) so that there would be no day he could think of as his first anniversary. And to throw it in his first wifes face. Lots of competition between the two. Talk about MESSED up.

     

     
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    Buzzing bee
    MrsBlueSeptember    September 30, 2012  

    @mrs_g.mck:  That's kinda crazy!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    brenda.m.fields    March 3, 2012   Fort Lauderdale (wedding) & Gainesville (home)

    As long as it's not the exact same day, I don't think it matters in general.  But, does it matter to you?

     
    26.
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    Blushing bee
    rnmomto3    April 28, 2012   Knoxville Tn

    We picked May 12 to avoid my daughter's birthday of May 5th and not the middle of April for prom and not the end of May for graduations. However, our venue only had April 28th available which was the original date I had planned with my first husband. The 1st wedding got changed to March 30th bc of work schedules anyway. lol I know when my FI's 1st wedding was bc my aunt got married on that date in 2010 (FI's 1st wife died) and I didn't ask when he married the she-demon he married last time. hahahahahaha

     
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    Worker bee
    Handful    October 11, 2012  

    We avioded May, (my first marriage), and September, (FI's first marriage) and ended up picking October which is perfect.

     

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