Taking his hyphenated last name…

posted 3 years ago in Names
  • poll: If I'm changing my last name to his and his last name is hyphenated what do I do?
    Just the first last name : (0 votes)
    Both last names : (10 votes)
    36 %
    Do whatever you damn well please. : (18 votes)
    64 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Both my brother and I were legally given both of our parents last names in hyphenated form. We both only used the first name (our fathers). I find using a hypenated last name makes things harder, in college because i legally had two names, but only used one, I had grades lost multiple times, problems with filling taxes, etc. I think you should do whatever you both want to do – but keep that in mind! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @jadlnc:  I think it depends on whether you want to take your husband’s last name or not. If his last name is hyphenated, he is Mr. Smith-Jones. I wouldn’t make much sense for you to then drop your last name and become Mrs. Smith and not share his entire last name. If you want to take your husband’s last name, it makes the most amount of sense to take his entire hyphenated last name, so you would be Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Jones.

    Another thing you can do is drop one of his last names and add yours. If he was Smith-Jones, and you were Black, you could become Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Black.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @jadlnc:  You can take both and just use whatever he uses regularly.

    Post # 8
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Why not jump on hyphenating train and have 3 names? 

    But really, do whatever you want. I would never, ever want the hassle of a hyphenated name, but if you both want the same name, you’d have to take both or he’d have to change his name.

    Post # 10
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @jadlnc:  How about having your FI legally change his last name? You’re becoming a family unit, and if it’s the name he uses anyway, he shouldn’t have a problem changing it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I kindof get that, but at the same time-you have to make the best decision for you/your husband, especially if there will be children in the picture. What would you do for them if you had both names but went by only the first? Pass both along as well…? I think the chain needs to be broken somewhere.

    My FI and I decided that while I wanted to take his last name, we didn’t love his family name. So he switched his middle and last, and Ill be taking his new last name/former middle when we marry. He got some questions from his side and others, but ultimately we thought it would be a much bigger deal than it was. Unless his mother is a terrible human being, she should be able to get over it relatively quickly and move on. Do what works for you two, not what works for others.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    jadlnc  it only causes a problem with filling taxes as I only use my first last name, but legally I have two, so I’ve had issues in the past with them wanting my W-2’s to match. I was told to legally change to just the first last name, but figured at this point I’ll just wait until I take my husbands name. If you use the same legally you should be fine, I just knew a number of people with hypentated names that only use one of the names day to day.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5192 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @jadlnc:  “He only uses his first last name on a regular basis.”

    If ^ that’s the case, why not BOTH legally change your names to whatever his first last name is?

    I agree with others who said that if you are taking his name, the standard would be that you take the whole hyphenated thing.  The would be the “by the book” approach.  But, really, do whatever you want.  It really only matters to the two of you.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4819 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    In Canada, if you want to take a last name, it muct be the full legal last name. If you want to take only 1 of the 2 it will be a legal name change that you need to fill out forms and pay and wait.

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