- 3 years ago
Hi, I m questioning whether or not to marry my boyfriend. I’m a single Mom of three grown sons. Life has been very hard for me the last 5-6 yrs. I went through a divorce, lost my home, had to sell most of my things to pay rent and bills and put food on the table when boys were still home. I ve been working two jobs for several years trying to change my life for the better. I don t have much time to do things I love like kayaking, photgraphy, etc. I had shared my bucket list of things I really want to do and my goals with my bf. Now my boyfriend who had no prior interest in these things is going and doing my dreams without me ! He bought a professional camera and has joined a photo club that goes to all kinds of events and fun things and has competitions. ( Many years ago I used to do this and won awards etc. ) Then , one of my dreams was/is to buy my own Harley Davidson bike and ride. He just pulled up to my house one day with one exactly like I wanted for hiimself ! It would take me years to get this. I don t want to be the girl on the back I wanted to drive my own. He said he just saw a good deal and bought it . Fast forward to now. I was hit in an auto accident several months ago and now have to go through major back surgery including bone grafts and rods and screws in two weeks. My boyfriend told me last night that he was leaving this morning to go kayaking w friends and do some photography several hours away in the mountains. I was stunned and so hurt ! He s never kayaked before so this is not his normal thing. I used to take my boys kayaking all the time but can t go now bc of work and injury . I m sitting here in pain crying while he s off living my dreams. He s a really nice guy otherwise and says he doesn t want to hurt me but turns around and does it anyway. Why would someone do this ? I would be fine if he had his own hobbies like golf or fishing etc. Why take mine when there s no way I can do them and not sure when I ll be able to ? I m very independent and one of my jobs is plumbing re pipe on buildings so I m very active and used to doing things way outside the norm. Please help me get some perspective here . I ve talked with him about this several times including last night . He even cried and said he didnt mean to hurt me. Now he s gone.