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We "made it work". My husband and I would have eloped before taking out a loan for the wedding. It never would have crossed our minds.
So, based upon your title, I assume that your "plan" includes getting a loan? If so, I would be curious to know (in general terms) the size of the loan? What are your circumstances, etc.?
On first blush, I would probably say not a good idea, but maybe a little more info would help explain your situation.
With the economic situation it may not be the wisest and actually may be really hard to get a loan. I would recommend against it because it's not worth being in debt after your wedding. There are so many other things to think about after the wedding like furniture, place, etc (unless you're already settled in), that it would be better to work within your budget. You can always negotiate with vendors.
My parents are paying for our wedding (we're really lucky). I think taking a loan out for your wedding is generally a bad idea. Especially in this economic climate getting a good interest rate will be difficult. What interest rate would you be getting on the loan and how much would you be borrowing?
I took out a personal loan from Bank of America a few years ago in extenuating circumstances and the total APR was 49%. Yes, I typed that right, 49%. However if you belong to a credit union you might have access to a much better rate. Nevertheless, borrowing money at such a high APR may be like trying to climb out of quicksand--you just end up sinking in deeper. I don't think it would be worth it to get your "dream wedding" at the cost of a potential financial nightmare.
Instead of getting a loan it might be possible to make cuts elsewhere in your budget. Do you have recent student loan debt? Student loans often offer variable repayment plans. You may be able to pay less on your student loans now (with the anticipation of paying more later) and thus save a little more cash for the wedding.
Otherwise, lots of brides have been able to have spectacular weddings on very little money. Even a few thousand dollars can make an excellent "traditional" wedding---complete with wedding dress, flowers, reception, etc.
We are not taking out a loan. My parents are giving $6k & his are (only, not being rude but just explaining) doing the rehearsal dinner. We are just cutting back on other spending. Our "worst case" plan was to do a 0% interest credit card & pay it back before the interest started.
A lot of the finance terms (especially credit cards) mislead you with the percentage they show. I'm taking econ right now, and it is explaining how you actually pay much more than they show you, based on the way interest is calculated (monthly, not yearly, etc.).
With the economy as is, do you have enough to live on for 6-8 mos if you lose your jobs? If not, do not get a loan for the wedding. Either wait longer, or cut back, possibly by having a cake/cocktail only reception. Even though we both make good $, we are actually only doing a minimoon until we can save for a bigger trip after wedding expenses.
I would like to address your actual question about getting a loan.
OBVIOUSLY no one would think it a good idea to get a loan for anything that is non-essential but that is not your question. I think wedding loans are much more common than you would believe. I can tell you in a certain culture (I wont say) but I know because I have many friends--they almost always get a loan or someone to float it because they know they will recoup a lot of it in gifts,
There could be many other reasons why it might make good sense- you are expecting a settlement or promotion. Even if your reasons are not sound to a banker (or Suze Ormond for that matter) I am not about judging your reasons. Some people get loans to adopt babies or to have in-vitro or to buy a house or a million other things that others would disagree with. I could also imagine if you just finished a long academic career and you knew you would be making money soon--or even if you didnt. I have to assume you want this wedding, so I say how is it any different from wanting a car you cant pay cash for?
It is true that some brides can manage on just a few thousand dollars but I wont assume that you dont only need a few thousand dollars. I dont have any sound advice for you on HOW to finance your wedding but if someone does, please weigh in, because I am sure others would want to know are are afraid to ask!
Our parents didn't help at all in paying for our wedding. We took out a loan- $4000. That covered everything but our rings, and we are having a beautiful country club wedding+reception for 115 people. With the economy this bad, I'm not sure I'd do it again, but it worked for us. My advice would be to DIY everything [invites, flowers, etc], search for a discount dress and suit, and borrow as little as possible, if you must. The only reason we went up to $4000 was that we knew we'd be getting that much back in January as our tax refund.
HTH :]
The former Miss Flip-Flop had a post on her blog talking about this yesterday, which is an interesting take on why going into debt for your wedding isn't so bad.
I think a lot more people go into debt for their weddings than we know of, but a lot of them do it with credit cards. I think depending on the terms of the loan versus the terms on your credit cards, it is better to take out a loan than put everything on credit cards. Plus, taking out a loan will force you to stick to that amount, instead of simply letting the costs pile up.
No, we didn't take out a loan. I did want to tell you to *please* not spend money thinking that you'll get it all back in gifts (like ju referred to above). We received $4000 (just 10% of our wedding) last month -- all of the other gifts were from our registry and a substantial number of people (~30) didn't give anything. You could risk not registering anywhere, but some people just won't give cash and you'll end up with crap. With the economy the way it is, I just don't think people can afford to be as generous now.
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We are (honestly) not taking out a loan for our May wedding. We'd saved several thousands, planning to pay for it ourselves, then our parents surprised us and both sets offered a few thousand as well. We actually have a surplus of funds, but that doesn't mean we've altered our budget or plans. We are, however, rolling those funds into our kitchen remodel :)
I was asking because many, many people do take out loans for a wedding. I have a few friends who recently have. It's a taboo topic, but I think there are many bees who would be interested to know if/what others are doing when it comes to funding their own wedding.
We're not taking out a loan to pay for our wedding either. Even before we were engaged I knew I wanted an intimate no frills wedding, so that just makes planning this shindig a lot easier. We have our own money saved, my parents simply dont have any extra money to give, and his parents have said they can help towards the wedding, or give us a gift that we can put towards a future downpayment on a house. We chose the house. We're planning on having a small outdoor wedding of 60 people, on my Aunt's property right on the river, and we'll wait to take our honeymoon on our 1 year anniversary.
Always try to do what's best for you, and your current situation. You never know what may happen down the road. Weddings aren't about keeping up with the Jones', its about declaring your love and devotion to each other in front of the people that mean the most to you. When you have that, your wedding will be beautiful no matter what.
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I have to be honest: hearing about "wedding loans" or people putting weddings on their credit cards makes me cringe. I've known couples who put a smallish chunk of their budget on a new no-interest card in order to pay it off more slowly, which I think is reasonable, but why on earth would anyone want to start a marriage with $20,000 in credit card debt and no chance of qualifying for a decent mortgage? With the looming credit crunch, I really think it pays to be conservative about how much debt you carry.
I think people often feel a lot of pressure to "go big" with a wedding, even if they can't afford it, because more and more their guests will have to lay down cash for airfare and hotels to get to the event. This is something my FI and I have argued a bit over. I suggested a Sunday brunch wedding in order to scale our costs down, but my FI was almost in tears as he insisted that we couldn't possibly ask our nearest and dearest to come all that way "just for brunch."
I eventually agreed to the Saturday night wedding he really wanted, but I really believe the people you love will come if they can, even if it is "just brunch" or "just lunch" or "just a buffet." They will want to share that special moment with you even if you can't afford to go all out on the party. MissCamera said it best:"Weddings aren't about keeping up with the Jones', its about declaring your love and devotion to each other in front of the people that mean the most to you. When you have that, your wedding will be beautiful no matter what."
I think it is all dependent on your situation. We are putting most of what we need to pay for now on a credit card. People can think that's a bad idea or whatever, but that's what we're doing. I don't think it's that great of idea either, but I'm working with what I have. My parents are contributing and my FI still needs to figure out what his parents are willing to contribute.
I don't think it's fair to the originial poster to judge. I agree with ju1244 said - I don't know anyone who has paid for a car or house completely with cash. Why is it bad to finance your wedding when we finance almost everything else?
It's not a question I can answer!
it is a highly personal decision with tons of ramifications. i've got old credit card debt i'm still climbing out of along with school loan debt. thankfully, we were both clear at the outset that we wanted a very small wedding, but were still surprised at how much that can cost in our area (San Francisco). we looked at budgets, looked at our finances and then adjusted and tweaked to get something we could afford. we were very, very lucky in that his parents and mine stepped in and paid for some things, which allowed us to splurge on food a bit (one of our high priority items). even so, we did a lot of the work ourselves and many of our friends donated their time and talents as friendors. not only did it make sense on our budget, but it made the entire experience more meaningful for us and for the people who participated (or at least that is what they've said).
the idea of a loan doesn't sound like a great idea to me, but it depends on a lot of things including the size of the loan, the intent behind it and the circumstances. for example, a small loan to cover deposit payments in advance of a tax refund or bonus would be one thing. taking out a huge loan to throw a super fancy party you couldn't otherwise afford is perhaps a tad less responsible. on the other hand, at least you'd be contributing to the economy! all joking aside, i'm sure most situations are somewhere in between and in the end, you need to do what you and your FI are comfortable with. Come up with a plan and make sure it's what you want and it makes sense. If not, revise.
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Our financial planner told us that as a general rule, you should not use credit to pay for anything where the term of the repayment is longer than the life of the asset. Given that the wedding lasts just one day and a loan can take many months (or more!) to repay, the term of repayment is definitely longer than the life of the asset. So, we decided against it.
If you decide to use a credit card, please figure out the detailed payment plan, see how much you will actually end up paying, and make sure you still feel like it is worth it...you may want to see if a personal loan has better interest, but this is a hard time with economy TANKING (my econ professor says this is a "once a decade" level of crisis)
GOOD luck, I know it is hard to stick to a smaller budget when you are constantly seeing ideas on here & in magazines!
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@hbowar -- I think the reason people are uncomfortable with the idea of financing a wedding is just what LNH said -- using credit when the term of the repayment is longer than the life of the asset is not considered a sound financial decision. With most other things people finance, like cars, houses, and furniture, you're getting years of use out of the loan. With a wedding, you're putting yourself into debt for one day, one celebration.
That said, I completely understand the decision that a perfect credit rating is less important than a celebration with all of your nearest and dearest. A wedding is a beautiful and meaningful day and the memories last forever, which is why people are willing to go into debt for it. But the repurcussions of taking on signifiant ($10k+) credit card debt can be enormous -- terrible mortgage loan rates, no money for a down payment on a house, debt growing due to high interest rates, etc. I don't judge anyone for thinking a wedding is important and deciding to borrow money or put it on their credit cards because it's something they really want, but I do worry about how that decision will impact the couple down the road, and I think sometimes couples don't think enough about what that decision might do to their finances if they lose their jobs or things otherwise go south. (But then, I've always been a worst-case-scenario kind of girl.)
Ok. I have a different perspective.
I am an encore (second time) bride. I had a huuuge wedding before and yes, it was gorgeous (massive church wedding followed by reception at large hotel) but expensive.
For one day. Yes it's YOUR day but one day.
You do not want to go into debt for one day.
I have a coworker (male) who's engaged and his fiancee and he (they do the same thing as I do) are paying for their own wedding as she's Indian and they somewhat oppose her marrying outside of the culture. They are instead opting for a gorgeous "scheduled elopement" and will have a large vow renewal upon coming home with a cocktail party and small plates. Saves money and is elegant! They can show their wedding at their welcome home reception.
Never go into debt for one day.
It is not worth it. The economy isn't great and even if it were, I wouldn't advise it.
If the economy is still in the toilet next spring, i may have to rethink my ideas on the destination wedding because I don't want to have my guests have to budget in to have to simply attend my wedding or have to go into debt putting the travel and hotel cost into any credit card. I may pull a gorgeous resort wedding (very small) and have the return reception/cocktail party/vow renewal with our pastor and show the wedding on a largescreen or projector screen.
We are not financing the wedding in any way. The total so far is about 2k, and we are each paying roughly half. My parents volunteered about 1k, but my dad was unemployed at the time so we turned them down -- his parents have yet to offer anything, which bugs me some but whatever, I love them. Everything has been paid with either cash, debit, or a store credit card (for the discount) which was paid off in the next billing cycle.
Our rationale: We don't have much. That's who we are, and it's ok with us that our wedding reflects that. We also have a really good support system of talented friends and fellow church members who will help us (where our photography, decorations, and help with reception food is coming from). We also had some unique circumstances that allowed us to economize in ways others can't -- I have my grandmother's wedding dress, which was cleaned, repaired, and altered to fit me for $325. We found an amazing deal on a cruise (5 nights for less than 1k) for the honeymoon. We're church members and not paying fees on the building, and having our reception in the fellowship hall. My fiance's dad is ordained and is marrying us. My fiance has worked for the chair of our college's music department for 2 years and he and his wife (concert pianists) will be doing our music.
I agree with previous posters that financing something like a wedding, that doesn't last longer than it takes to pay it off, is really unnecessary and unwise. I have found it to be true in every wedding I have been to, rich or poor, fancy or not, that what made it beautiful was not the decorations, not the amazing venue, not the thousand dollar dresses, but the love. I was at a wedding this past weekend which was very simple, plain, and in all honesty probably not very spendy at all. But when the doors opened and the bride started walking down the aisle, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen because she looked so radiant, and the groom just couldn't stop smiling.
Sorry, long post, but as corny as it sounds, love is what makes a wedding worthwhile and amazing and beautiful. No amount of money can buy that.
Honestly.. I would spend what you can afford without any finacial assitance. It's one day. Yes it's your wedding day..but it is one day. You will have many days in your marriage and there shouldn't be one day that you spend 10,000 or more on if you can't afford it. The important thing is that you're marrying the man or woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with. If that means you need to go to a court houseto get married and McDonalds for your reception, so be it. Because that day is over so quickly and it doesn't matter if you spend 1,000 or 100,000 the end result will still be that you're married.
I spent maybe 3,000 on my wedding and we spent 1,600 on our photographer. My dress was 200 with alterations, my husband wore his kilt that he already owned, my family prepared the food and I made my own wedding cake. Was it lavish? Not by any means. But it was the best day of my life and sometimes I think "Oh.. I wish we could've afforded to do that" But marriage is stressful enough without having a huge amount of debt on your shoulders.
So my advice to you is don't get a loan, do what you can afford without going into debt. If it's not perfect.. it doesn't matter. In 10, 20, 30 years you can renew your vows and maybe afford to go all out then without going into serious debt.
I agree with most of the posters who say "wedding loans are unwise investments" and "it's just one day of your lives". I totally get that. But, what some aren't understanding is that couples feel pressure. Pressure from parents, in-laws, friends, co-workers, SOCIETY! If you live in a big city where materialism runs rampant and friends are doing their weddings bigger and better, there can be a tendency to want to keep up with the Joneses (even when you can't afford it). And while none of this is rational/wise/sensible, etc. - it's what some people do. I'm not condoning it. I'm just saying that we should try to understand that everyone comes from a different situation with a separate set of values and priorities. The "bigger is better" wedding may seem ridiculous to some people, but to others, it's sort of like a way of life. I am from L.A. where people drive $120,000 cars but are still renting their tiny apartment. What are you gonna do?!
i've worked on wall street for many years and anybody with a sound financial mind will tell you that taking a loan out for your wedding is not a wise investment. it's only ONE day, etc, etc, etc.
Having said that, I just had my wedding. a big new york city wedding that cost me $$$$$. i (fortunately) didn't have to go into debt for it (wall street paid for it :) but i did plan this wedding before the financial meltdown so looking back - probably not the best use of money. however, I don't regret it for a moment. i could have gotten married in a less expensive state/location, I could have done a lot of things differently but i got my DREAM wedding. i will never regret it. so along the lines of what some ppl have said - it all depends on your situation and what you want. Weigh the pros and cons!! good luck...
We didn't take a loan for our wedding and we paid for the entire thing ourselves. We extended our engagement to two years so that we could plan the wedding that we wanted. We put away $1000 from each of our paychecks each month for 24 months and I actively put them in CDs with higher interest rates and rolling them into another one every time one would expire.
We worked out a budget and were able to have our dream wedding without going overboard and still have money left over. We plan to continue to contribute the $1000 each into this joint account and put it towards our future home together. And as pp mentioned, we did get a good amount of monetary gifts that we were able to add to the account.
I completely believe in living within your means and that you shouldn't have to take a loan for one day. A wedding is a celebration of love and you don't need to spend buckets of money to make it special.
I have to tell everyone I am DONE checking this particular posting because it represents the ONE thing I really dont like about Wedding Bee and that is people giving their opinion that has nothing to do with the question. It happened one time before when someone asked for the proper etiquette and then everyone bombarded the poor Bee with their "opinions".
C'mon ladies, some options and guidance would have been nice. No one, especially not a bride with pressures, needs a pack of finger pointers. We all know its best never to gain the extra 5 pounds but if we do-the question about how to take it off, should not be met with. "I never let myself gain weight" or "its a bad idea" or "I have such a high metabolism" etc. Talk about your self absorbed brides....
These answers border on cruel, I wish I had some constructive advice for anyone wanting info on the subject but I dont. What I really know is anyone needing it wont dare ask again. Women keeping women in the dark out of fear and intimidation-lovely.
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Martha Stewart Weddings had a good article about this in their summer issue. Their basic point was you should never go into any sort of debt for your wedding because it is just one day. It's not an investment like a house or a necessity like a car. It is not your education. It's a party.
If you're finding yourself with a small budget, there are ways to make it work that many of the bees have shown and other bloggers. You probably will have to sacrifice some things. But in the end it's about you getting married and those things shouldn't force you to start your married life saddled with wedding debt. I think we all want an amazing wedding at the Ritz catered by a celebriy chef, but we all have budgets too. Work within yours.
Maybe there's no point in saying it, as you said you wouldn't check back, ju1244, but the OP asked "what are you doing at your wedding" and then replied to the thread saying she just wanted to hear people's opinions. She was not looking for personal guidance. I haven't seen any nasty replies, and everyone seemed to be responding in the spirit of the original question. There's really no need to be so upset.
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yea ditto december - not sure why ju1244 has her panties in a knot. none of the comments have been mean spirited at all!
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px">@ carly7215:
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px">I wish I could say that we're not facing those stresses from friends and family -- having friends scoff at our choices of not having a grooms dinner, at having an at-home reception, etc.
That said, I don't care enough about trying to please everyone. No matter what we do, some people will be disappointed, or will make comments.
For that reason, we've decided to not go overboard, but to do what makes us most happy.
I hear where you're coming from, I really do have friends who have spent $30,000 MORE than we're paying, but I also see them struggle with their wedding loans now, when they're trying to build a life together, and I know we're doing the right thing.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px">
i would love to add to this convo! my FI and i are considering taking out a loan for our wedding,(not a big one) and we have weighed everything.he can borrow from his 401k,we can use credit card,or simply take out a loan.after doing the math the loan turned out to be the cheapest.we are great with our finances so we can have 10,000 paid back in two years(we've done that with a car in the past)the reason were choosing this is because weve been together for 8 yrs prior to our engagment and want his 90 somthing great grandmother to attend.bottom line: if your not good with money this is nothing to consider. we have centain circumstances to work with(his graet g ma) otherwise we would even try to extend the engagment. good luck
I would never EVER take out a loan to pay for our wedding. Luckily my parents have offered to pay for the reception which is roughly 70% of our total wedding so we are only left to pay for the extras (DJ, photographer, rings, apparel, decor, etc...).
It was important to us to not enter into marriage with any unnecessary debt so we even payed cash for the engagement ring.
In my personal opinion, couples should have a wedding that they can afford. I know someone who did take out a loan for their wedding and now almost 10 years later they couldn't regret it more since they are still trying to pay it off.
I see nothing wrong if you want to get a wedding loan, no everyone can fork up thousands of dollars at once however most are able to do monthly or by weekly payments over a period of time provided that they have a job to do the payments. alot of people do this the thing to consider is the interest rate make sure it is low and sometimes PLC have really low inrerests rates.
Loans for a house, sure! Be carefull when it is for a wedding. Keep it a small loan and one you know that you can pay back for sure!!!
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Are you taking out a loan for your wedding?
Do a lot of people take out loans, do they get a lot of help from their parents, or do they just make it work with savings? I'm interested to find out if our plan is "normal."