- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
I’m still fairly new, so please forgive me if my posts look weird. And Happy Mothers day to all!!! This post has somewhat a series of questions/thoughts and I would appreciate and be so thankful for all imput.
I have been with my Boyfriend or Best Friend 7 years ( I was 17 when we met). We are discussing getting engaged in the near future, and, well, I know its coming quite soon! Very excited!!
I really want to take his name, as does he want me to take his name. My reasons are endless ( I love him, I want to be a “unit”, I want the same name as my kids etc).
My mother, however, is FURIOUS. As it is, my maiden (current) name is hyphenated because my mom refused to take my dads name because she dislikes the tradition and wanted me have her name as well.
I feel bad to upset her, but I don’t think I “owe” this life choice to her (and obviously if I did feel that way, hyphenating is not an option as I am already hyphenated). One of the points she does bring up to her “advantage”, is the fact that all my degrees will be earned in my maiden name ( I am a Nurse Practitioner student, working on my second bachelors and Masters in nursing), and wouldn’t I want to be addressed in the manner I earned degrees when I take on patients? As the topic of engagement nears closer, she threatens to not be a part of the wedding/be of assistance etc.
SO. I guess my questions are: 1) do you think that my mom doesn’t have the right to impose her beliefs in such a manner?
2) Did you take your married name, even with prior degrees earned/ a career path that requires licensure or to be addressed in such a fashion? My mom is really furious that I could be addressed as Dr.Married name instead of Dr. Maiden name.
3) Did any of you keep your name legally and change socially? was that hard?
4) are there any other options? (change legally, be addressed by prior name at work) Not sure on all the legal stuff, especially with board certifications etc.
Sorry for all the questions! whatever you may answer would be of big help.