Post # 1
I just made my DS an appointment. He is school aged and has been having some behavioral issues at school. Mostly not listening and things of that nature, but within the last few weeks he has had some more serious problems, one of which resulted him in being suspended for 3 days.
I am so upset because my child is a good child. I know everyone says that about their children but I really do believe him to be. He is very affectionate, loving, caring and behaves well at home. His father and I split custody and he has had some major life changes this year so I know that could be affecting him. DH doesn’t think he needs to see a therapist because he thinks he needs more attention or something of that nature. The way I see it, is we have tried every disciplinary action possible and nothing seems to phase him.
So have any other bees taking their children to a therapist? Did it help?? I am hoping that a therapist will be able to help DS with some coping skills or something to help him in certain situations. Or maybe just someone to talk to other than myself that he can open up to. I just don’t know what to do with him anymore. Hoping to hear some positive stories.
Post # 3
@r_hink: I’m a therapist for teenage males at a residential treatment facility. I do obviously think therapy can help, especially if he is open to it and trusts his therapist. One thing to keep in mind is that it is going to take a while and he will have occasional setbacks. The important thing is to keep supporting him through that and talk about what he learned from it and should try next time. I see a lot of parents that are very upset when something happens after kids have started treatment and made progress, but it’s a process and he needs to know that you are there unconditionally to be able to make lasting changes. (I obviously know nothing about your family so that is in no way a judgement, just something I see a lot and is hard for parents who want their children to do well.) Good luck! PM me anytime if you’d like.
Post # 4
2 years ago we began therapy with our daughter. There were several major life changes that were affecting her- her bio dad had moved our of state abruptly and got married to a woman our daughter had not even met, we had a new baby that she was jealous of, and she was struggling in school academically. We jSo we started counseling for the whole family, really. Because as many issues as she was having, I needed to learn better parenting skills in response to those issues as well. We started by going every other week. Two years later we are all doing much better but we still go once a month. It really helps to have someone completely objective in our lives!
Post # 5
@r_hink: I don’t have any personal stories for you since I don’t have kids. But I will say, that every child is a good child. It’s their behaviors that are not so good. I have an MA in counseling, and for my career, I have only worked with children. I think you’re doing the right thing by taking him to counseling. Make sure that the counselor is familiar with working with children. They may also suggest family therapy, depending on what the underlying issue turns out to be. Good luck!
Post # 6
My xDh and I sent our daughter to see someone after our split, as she felt as she needed to go. We didn’t push it. It was her outlet to speak to someone other than her mom, dad, grandparents…etc. Plus, the xDH always thinks something is wrong with her because she’s not as perfect as his new wifes kids *eyeroll* Sorry, every kid isn’t going to act the same, in my opinion. 2 different kids, same age, being raised from 2 different sets of parents, they aren’t going to be the same ya moron!
Anyways – We made her go once, then let her decide there after if she wanted to continue to go. She chose to go, just to get a few things off her mind. The therapist talked to us afterwards and said what she’s going through was completely normal and her behavior was completely normal for her age (Ha, I wanted to laugh in xDH’s face) I told him all along that she was fine!
But it did her some good, and she felt better after her sessions. Especially after going through multiple moves, divorce, xDH’s new girlfriend moving in with her 3 kids, them getting engaged then marred ALL WITHIN 6 MONTHS TIME!
Post # 7
My two stepsons both go to counseling, they rotate weeks. The younger one has behvaior issues to go with his ADHD. The counseling has helped. Given him some tools to deal with his anger when he doesn’t get his way. The counselor is willing to talk to the school if needed and give them tips. The older child likes to go and talk about his concerns.
Reality is that DH and I got married a year ago… big change since we didn’t live together before
They moved into the home I had… big change
Changed schools… big change
Their mom gets them one night a month usually… not as big of a change
It’s a good outlet for them to talk to someone else as PP mentioned. I’m all for it. You may not need every other week like we do, but I don’t think it would hurt for a little bit.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your replies. Just like some of you mentioned, I am hoping that not only can they teach him some coping skills but also teach my DH and me the same things as well. I also thing that some behavior may be “typical” but not acceptable, none the less. He is going to a therapist with someone who works with children. I will be up for family sessions if needed, of course. I am just so emotionally drained with the situation and your stories are actually bringing tears to my eyes because it gives me hope.
Post # 9
I went to a therapist when I was younger, 15, 16. I am now 23. I feel like it helped me a lot with what I was dealing with. Just a little insight from someone who has been there!
Post # 10
My old therapist did play therapy for kids. I was in my 20s going to her and I know she would have kids play to help ease them into talking. I think it’s beneficial and helpful, although I never went as a child.
Post # 11
@r_hink: I saw a therapist for most of elementary school, and my sister saw one through most of high school!
Therapists are wonderful, wonderful things.
Post # 12
@hecallsmelove: I feel like my son may have ADD/ADHD and that is also something I need to address.
I asked my sons teacher this morning to write up something indicating the areas he needs to work on so I can give it to the therapist at his appointment and she said he does well in class but at other times like at recess, etc. is where he has the problem. She said where there is less structure and routine. I definetely agree with that. I see a difference in him after he has gone to his father’s (every other weekend) so structure and routine is a big deal.
I’m glad to hear from people who have went themselves! I am glad it helped you and that you both benefited from it.
Post # 13
My daughter participated in therapy when she was 15. She was having issues and since I was in therapy I felt that maybe she could use it as well. In addition to her individual therapy sessions, we also went together. It really made a difference. Her dad was pretty much out of the picture (he lived out of state), so I was pretty desperate). I highly recommend it.