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I don't know how to talk ya down but I do know that if I were planning a wedding, I'd pick the September date! I wanted September originally actually. Its one of the most popular month now. The May date that became available is a holiday weekend. People go away for Memorial Day and they most likely have some plans tentatively (if not definitely) planned. So that would be been disappointing if they weren't able to make it. You won't have to worry about anyone being too hot, it'll be just the right temperature. I am not sure where in NJ you are but the leaves don't usually change here for a couple weeks after your wedding date so I'm sure that won't be an issue. As far as the honeymoon goes- that's hit or miss. I think if you do some more research you'll find a place you can both agree on. Maybe you should speak to a travel agent who is more knowledgable about seasonal issues.
@ jennifer - your post made me smile and realize that I am acting like an idiot. Thank you!
I think September is a great month ;). Do some research about rain in places you would like to go, try Argentina when we are getting colder they are getting the heat ;) so It might be an option plus it is a beautiful country. If everything is set for that date just stick to it and avoid head aches, I bet you have enough already. I think the rain issue is always a hit or miss situation =)
No silly, you're not acting like an idiot- you're acting like a bride! If I had a dollar for every decision I second guessed (and third guessed, and forth, and fifth...) throughout this process, I think I might be able to pay off this wedding! Seriously, you're just worrying because you want everything to work out. I'm sure it will!!
I think kinda like how they say, once you buy a dress, stop looking. You have picked and booked your date, stop looking at other dates! I think at this point you have to move on about it. There are still plenty of fun places to go on your honeymoon. For the daylight issue, maybe move the wedding up some and then have an after party?
Come to Northern California for your honeymoon! September is our dry season, everything is in bloom and it's beautiful.
I'm getting married 9.11.10, so I know what you're going through. Okay first, there's such a great chance of it raining in May! And you're absolutely right, there's a good chance it's still going to be cold! September is much more reliable in terms of weather and temperature.
Honeymoon. If you're set on somewhere Caribbean, look at Aruba or Bahamas. Both are below the hurricane belt. Or use the opportunity to really do something once in a lifetime like Tahiti/Bora Bora/Moorea! That's what we're looking at doing! You'll find something wonderful either way!
Fall colours. Okay, you get no control over that. But I find fall colours typically don't get to peak until mid-October (where I am). There maybe a FEW leaves that have changed, but I don't think you'll be in a forest of red and orange. Are you getting married outdoors or indoors? If you're going to be outdoors in a tent you could always rent a few big green trees to put around, or put a lot of green into your centrepieces if you're really worried about it. You could pick a more urban area for photos if the fall colours are intense already, but I don't think you'll need to!
It's going to be wonderful and you're going to be fine! I think you made a great decision!
Don't worry! For one, it does no good! :) You sent stuff out, you have things booked, etc. And September is a great month!
Hmm, I'm not sure if I can talk you off the ledge, but just remember, a date is a date. You're getting married, and that's all that matters. I got married on September 26 last year near Albany, and there wasn't a colorful leaf in sight, so I wouldn't worry about that. But I'm pretty sure if you happen to find an orange leaf on your wedding day, it won't ruin it :) I know people associate September with fall, but really, I don't think leaves make a noticeable change in that area until the beginning of October (I lived in the Hudson Valley for five years).
Also, these things are about compromise. If he picked the date, then you get to pick something else that he wanted to veto (flowers? decor?). Just keep remembering that the date is not important at all. I wanted a September wedding, but we also had to seirously consider a winter wedding for a while because of some things that came up. I NEVER wanted a winter wedding, but I eventually became really okay with the idea, as long as we got married in the end. We ended up getting our September date, but when we made that decision, I was perfectly happy getting married whenever.
As far as the honeymoon, I agree with jenifer_espos. I would consult a travel agent and just see what they say.
I choose Oct because nobody will be sweaty and hot, the leaves will be changed and gorgeous and hopefully NO SNOW! But if so we'll manage, I don't want to worry about the weather because there is 1. nothing i can do about it 2. too early to plan for it
so i just have a backup plan in place incase of inclement weather.
Awww, you guys are the best! Thank you so much. Everything you all said was reasonable, helpful, and rational - 3 things I was NOT in the hour leading up to this post 
You are, of course, all right - the leaves won't be changing yet and the date is just a date. Plus, I just looked at the ABC islands and there are a lot of options. I'm going to say that FI thanks you too, even though he doesn't know the hive is the reason I'm much calmer now!
im getting married october 2 in NJ... mainly because its a beach wedding and i think that is the most wonderful time at the jersey shore.. but i had no desire to do a spring wedding up by us because the spring is so darn rainy! The fall should be much drier for the wedding.
As far as a honeymoon we are going to do curacao.. Aruba, bonaire, and curacao are outside the hurricane belt, as is belize and venezuela. check them out ;) They say SOMETIMES in curacao it might sprinkle for like a minute in the afternoon and then be totally fine. Im not worried about the weather down there at all!
Good luck!
girl! buy some trip insurance and plan your honeymoon with ease. if somehow there is a hurricane exactly where you are.. well, then you're covered. But you can't plan for stuff like that beyond having a back up plan or insurance..
If it makes you feel better, the other year we planned our island trip for October, then said "Let's bump it to November, so we're further from hurricane season". Then there were no storms until the weekend in mid November that hit our vacation spot. Had a GREAT trip regardless, and it was kind of funny to think about how it worked out. Way to basically go the one week it hurricaned!
I'm going to second the Northern California suggestion. That's what we did for our honeymoon (San Francisco/Sonoma/Napa), and September is hands-down the best time of year to visit there. The weather is gorgeous, it's harvest time in wine country, and it's still warm enough to take advantage of all of the gorgeous outdoor pools that the resorts/spas have.
That's so funny that everyone is suggesting Sonoma/Napa because that's where my FI is from 
The hive knows...hehe
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I need a swift kick in the arse, as I'm freaking out and I think I'll regret it.
FI and I are hitting some roadblocks planning our HM for our 9.25.10 wedding. REason being, it's the rainy season in most beach destinations, and I don't want to do Europe or Hawaii. This has led to me freaking out about our date - which was originally picked mostly because he wanted it. At our venue, we had two choices - May 8 or Sept 25. He wanted Sept to give us more time to plan and I was afraid May 8 would be too cold, so I agreed. Then May 29the became available shortly after that, but we stuck with our Sept 25 date mostly because he wanted more time.
Now, I am upset because I feel like we chose the date for him, and I have been woried about a few date-related things - May would've given us almost 2 hours more sunlight for photos (we don't want to see each other before the ceremony) and there would be no risk of fall foliage in May (we are getting married in the Hudson Valley and I despise orage/red leaves - not my thing at all), and the HM issue. We cannot change our date, STDs went out and it's terribly unlikely the May date is available, plus all our vendors are booked. I feel upset about the things mentioned above and because I feel like we made the wrong decision. Talk some sense into me, please.