Post # 1
Ok, I feel like I am sliding into the crazy part of the waiting cycle!!
This weekend we floated the river in canoes with his whole family and marriage came up in the conversation A LOT! He even made a comment to his brother (who we are close with) saying “Well, she is going to be your sister!” and his sister asked me if she was going to be in our wedding! I over heard a conversation he was having with her and some other family members where they were asking when he was gonna get married and he said we havent set a date or anything and then his sister said “Well do you have a fiance?!?” and i didnt hear what he said! GRRRRR!!!!
So I think that is what kinda pushed me to the edge…..Monday I called a venue that I saw pictures of and talked to the lady there like I was already engaged! Told her next fall was when we were thinking (which is true, we talk about it being next Oct all the time) I showed him everything that night and he commented here and there but really didnt say a whole lot. So I made a comment about him not being very excited or giving his input and he said “Dont worry, I will give my 2 cents on things i really want to have input on..” basically saying hes letting me do my thing. I had also told him about a bridal expo thats happening on Nov 13th and asked if he thought it would be weird for me to go…and he said no not at all, good idea.
I feel like a fraud!!!! What am i doing?? I even got an estimate for the venue yesterday! I have realized that I have literally started planning etc and I have NO RING! I feel kinda like an idiot. And now I realize I would feel very silly going to a bridal expo talking to venders with no ring, and I dont even know if I would be taken seriously….but I dont want to miss all the good stuff they will have!
I am going to his house on my lunch break to see him and I am struggling with the idea of asking him if he really has an idea of when exactly hes going to ask. (He told me about a week ago that he had a good idea of when) I want to know if its not going to be before the end of the year so I can stop worrying about it and not make a fool of myself by going to bridal events!
HELP BEE’S!!! What should I do!!!!??!?!?!
Post # 3
Ask him when he wants to marry you. Seriously. You don’t need a ring–just a timeline and a commitment. If you’ve already agreed to do this and he’s letting you plan, you’re technically already engaged–proposal or not.
Post # 4
My understanding is that a lot of Bees plan with no ring yet. If your guy has agreed you’re getting married, and the venues are booking up quickly you do what you have to do. Who cares what the people at the bridal events think of you!
You can come to him and say “this venue has XX and XX dates open. Pick one”
Post # 5
I’m starting to do the same thing and was worried about the no ring thing. I think you should go ahead and plan. Although I wouldn’t put any down payments on anything until you have a ring in case your dates change after the formal engagement
Post # 6
Well, I went to lunch and saw him and managed to keep my mouth shut! I thought about it the whole time though and I hate that. Honestly, the only reason I didn’t say anything was because I couldn’t think of how to start off. It felt awkward to just bring it up out of nowhere. The only thing I could think of to bring it up was something like “I’m sorry about bringing up all of the wedding stuff, I know we aren’t engaged yet, so I should probably stop and leave that for when we acutally are….” But I don’t really think I should be sorry so I didn’t say that!
Post # 7
I did some stealthy planning while I was still waiting. So long as your BF is comfortable with it and the two of you have agreed on a tentative date/season, I say go for it!
Post # 8
I honestly don’t think he cares if I plan or not right now. And I realized its really not about him, its about how I feel doing it without a proposal. In my mind I’m like…if he wanted to be planning our wedding forreal he would propose or have already proposed. Its like poping the question = now its on…everyone knows, the congrats come, the REAL planning begins. So for me to be doing it anyways makes me feel like im pushing him, I dunno. At the same time, I can’t really ask him why he hasn’t asked yet, its only been about a month since we went ring shopping. I’m just scared that hes going to wait a long time to do it after all this talk. I shouldn’t complain though, I just needed to vent and bring myself back down the Earth!