Post # 1
I don’t want to be this person. I am incredibly insecure when it comes to FI’s family. I have always thought that they don’t like me, although I don’t know if is is because I a insecure and sensitive, an this may all be in my head.
FI’s mum and sister are ridiculously close and for some reason I feel like I need to know what they truly think of me. They’d never tell me or FI if they had a problem with me, but they’d definitely tell One another. They’ve gone to bed (we are visiting) and both left their phones downstairs. My crazy insecurity is creeping up and saying “look in their texts to see what they’ve said about you once and for all” but I don’t want to be that girl. That’s crazy and a huge invasion of privacy.
how do you normal people do it? I feel like I’m so afraid people don’t like me or secretly say bad things, and being accepted by his family is so important. How do I get over this???
Post # 3
Can you imagine if you got caught…. talk about being “not accepted”.
I can sometimes uderstand when Bees snoop through email or something of their husbands (not that I think it is right ) but this is WAY over the top.
And what would you do with the information anyway. Tell them or your FI that you were snooping?
NO, no, no, no….
Post # 4
@nonapkns: +1. It’s too dangerous!
Post # 5
Don’t do it! Just think of the consequences of being caught in the act.
Post # 6
@MrsCreeToBe: Omg!!! Don’t do it! What’s the good that could come from it? What if you got caught? What if you did snoop and found nothing whatsoever about you? How would that make you feel?
As a matter of fact, it is none of your business what anybody else thinks of you.
Post # 7
Im sure i wont, i dont wanna disrespect them this way and omg id die if i were caught. But how do you deal with never really knowing how somebody feels about you? i feel like im a burden on their family and a pest nobody wants around. They are friendly toward me but what if its for hubbys sake?
Post # 8
it’s kinda odd that they both left their phones. i have mine on me almost always, as do most people i know. could it be that your suspicions are correct and they’re trying to catch you?!?! don’t do it!!!!
Post # 9
@MrsCreeToBe: Like I said, it’s really none of your business what anybody thinks of you. And honestly…often we tend to think that we are a far more popular topic of conversation than we actually are. In other words (and at the risk of sounding mean), it’s not all about you. Live your life and don’t get caught up so much in what others think of you.
Post # 10
@MrsCreeToBe: unfortunately, you can’t force them to like you- they didn’t choose to gain you as a family member, FI did. just smile and be the best person you can be- someone who does not snoop through others’ phones- and hopefully with time your relationship with them will grow.
Post # 11
if they liked you before, you snooping in their phones would certainly change that!
Post # 12
@sillysillybee: THIS X 1000
It’s not your business what they think of you and say about you in their private conversations. They aren’t required to like you; they are only required to treat you respectfully as a member of the family. If they’re already doing that, then it seems like you’re better off than about 95% of the bees posting here.
What you’re contemplating can only cause trouble. Either you’ll find nothing, which won’t convince you they like you, or you’ll find something, and your worst fears will be confirmed. But then what? You can’t confront them. You can’t treat them differently. You’ll just have to sit with your guilty knowledge and stew.
Post # 13
Genuinely curious – let’s say you snoop and find out they DO strongly dislike you? Then what? You confront them? You smugly have the knowledge they don’t like you? Are you going to tell your FI?
Snooping can only end badly even if you don’t get caught, and don’t find anything.
Post # 14
OH MY GOD!!! DO NOT DO THIS….step away from their phones, step away!
Post # 15
Don’t do it. The only ‘goal’ I can see of you doing this, is finding out that actually they DO like you, and then you get relief. But the chance of that happening is very, very small and not worth the risk.
If you really want to know, talk to them.
Post # 16
In situations like this I always try and think about what if I was the other person. So how would you feel if they snooped through your phone? How would you feel if you found out someone was talking about/thinking about you talking about them when you are not?
I always find that it helps me to see how crazy I am being when I flip the situation.
Besides that, life is too short to spend your time worrying about what other people think of you. Right now you could be curled up with your FI or spending time with his family and instead you are worrying about this shit! Sounds like a time waste to me.