Talk to me about not having a wedding party…

posted 4 months ago in Traditions
Post # 31
Member
35 posts
Newbee

We aren’t having a wedding party (: Main reason is we’re keeping the wedding SMALL (15 people max) and didn’t want drama, hassle, deciding who was in and who wasn’t, no song and dance here. I think my friends were a little put off that they weren’t invited, but they quickly got over it. We told them we would send wedding annoucements to them and plenty of pics. Good luck! 

Post # 32
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We didn’t have one, just didn’t want to so we didn’t. It was SO nice to not have to worry about 6-10 other people, dresses, suits, gifts, arrangements… no flower girl or ring bearer.  The preacher held on to the rings and handed them to us. DH’s neice grabbed my flowers for me and sat back down. No regrets.  

Post # 33
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

We didn’t have a wedding party and I walked myself down the aisle. It was so intimate and special and drama-free. Best decision ever! I agree that no one really wants to be in a wedding party anyways because of the cost and the logistics. 

Post # 34
Member
2694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We didn’t have a wedding party. It didn’t feel like a critical part of the ceremony/ritual for us. It worked out beautifully. 

My SIL didn’t have a wedding party, either. She didn’t seem to miss it.

I think it’s fine to let go of any parts that do not align with the vision you and your partner have for the day.

Post # 35
Member
1322 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We’re not having one, we made the decision very early on in our planning process mainly to do with logistics and cost. I don’t want to dictate to others what to wear and try to co-ordinate with and rely on others to look right, act right, be on time etc. Too much stress for me. I’m introverted and anxious so hell no. Keep it simple. I want our friends and family to enjoy the day and not be ‘working’ the event.

I chose my dress on my own, FI planned everything else with me. It’s been great fun.

We’re having our parents beside us at the bridal table as a way to honour them and my dad’s walking me down the aisle like normal but no other ‘fluff’. My dad, FI’s grandfather and FI are doing speeches. FI’s dad is the MC for the day. Very much a family affair. A small and formal wedding with 60 guests.

No garter/bouquet toss either.

We’ve each asked a brother to sign our register as witnesses. 

I just don’t see the point of them and I’m not close enough to anyone to want them to part of such an important day. And just because it’s ‘tradition’ or ‘the done thing’, I wasn’t going to choose random people without any real meaning behind it. Not one to do something for the sake of it. My wedding is too special to me to include anyone or anything I didnt feel strongly about.

Wedding is a week away and it’s been BLISS without all the extra opinions!

Post # 36
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

kristaalee :  Did not have a wedding party. I LOVE my friends. They are the greatest friends ever, but I thought it was a lot to ask since we were having a desintation wedding. Also, I wanted them to be able to wear their own clothes and feel 100% comfortable, but what I made them wear. I didn’t want the drama… and even without a bridal party, I heard there was some. My friends still gave me the best bach and an amazing shower – things I didn’t expect. I stand by my decision to not have a bridal party, even if I didn’t get all the other things. 

Post # 38
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

Because of having the wedding in someone’s home, we only had a MOH and a BM. The wedding was about 50 people and in the living room so it would have been crowded, at least. I told my MOH to wear whatever dress she wanted, something she already owned, and it was fine.

It sure does cut down on the “drama” and “hurt feelings”. Yet I couldn’t avoid it, a friend who I hadn’t seen in awhile got mad that she wasn’t MOH, and snubbed the wedding. I had been MOH in her wedding a few years earlier but things had changed and my MOH and I were closer. I even met DH through her. 

Some things you can’t win.

Post # 39
Member
5975 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My brother and SIL didn’t have a wedding party. Initally their wedding started out as super small, just immediate family and a handful of close friends. They eventually ended up with around 40 people, but by that point they still opted not to have a bridal party.  I think most of it stemmed from the fact my SIL just doesn’t really have many girlfriends.

The other part of it for them was financial. They planned on a super super budget. As it was they didn’t do a rehearsal or rehearsal dinner (because there was nothing to rehearse), they didn’t do bridal party gifts, etc.

I don’t think they had any regrets. It was a casual wedding and my sister walked their dogs down the aisle. My dad held the rings, and just got up from his seat when it was time to pass them off.

Post # 40
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

kristaalee :  Did not have a weddig party. I was super happy with my decision. My friends got to wear their own clothes and enjoy themselves. Don’t regret it for a second. 

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