Weddingbee boards

I'll go ahead and say it -- I am a hugely jealous person. But now that that's out of the way...

I wonder how many of you talk to your BF/SO/FI/DH about your exes and in what detail. I think my experiences with my exes have shaped me in many ways and how I approach my relationship with BF. I imagine that's true of anyone -- exes matter, even if they are long forgotten. I've had two 2 year + relationships before BF, a short-lived relationship to my then male best friend that ended with him cheating on me, and a couple other experiences mixed in there to spice it up. I've told BF all of these at relevant times -- if he asks me something and its relevant I'll tell a story about an ex and my exerperience. I think its important because he nees to know who I am and those stories are all part of it. I include names because its easier to say "Brad" then it is "the ex that tried to kill himself" over and over.

BF is quite the opposite, he tells me very little about exes and drops little tidbits here and there about why those ended but that's about it. He tells me he doesn't really want to know about my exes and he doesn't want to talk about his. He has had one previous 3 year relationship and a few other experiences. I know a lot at this point about the other experiences (including names) but relatively little about the main ex and it frustrates me to some degree but I know its probably my irrational jealousy coming out that she was with him for that long and in a weird way I both don't want to think about him with another person and I also want to know everything about them.

I sometimes feel crazy about this. Neither his nor my exes are threats to our relationship at all but its this little irk feeling that I don't know who they are.

Anyone else feel like this?

@andersonsarah:  Wow to being friends with the girl your ex cheated with. I could never do that. I have eventually forgiven my ex who cheated on me, but the girl he did it with will always be a bitch who I would want nothing to do with...

 The past is the past. Don't care to know about them.  If you know too much may not be good and you start comparing yourself. I'd rather not know anything at all. Just as I wouldn't want to share my past with my fiancee. Today and future is what matters, focus on that fellow bee, that's why we are on here :)

I think this depends on the circumstances a bit. 
What I don't mind:
"I started dating so and so because her friend got us together!" or "She had this thing with hawks. We did a lot of bird watching."

What I do mind and I heard from someone in the past:
"I mean, we used to do it all the time. It was like, constant. She wasn't on BC so we had to use condoms." Ummno. There's no reason to know that. GROSS.

Tangent: Girl who was an ex of his but a mutual friend once said "Remember when I asked for a cat while we were having sex? Like, I was on top of you, and I was like 'PLEEEEASE let me have a kitten.' and you were like, mad because you were about to finish." in my presence! WTF PEOPLE.

Yeah. Done with that saga.

TL;DR

I don't mind talking about general things, but really intimate thigns that I might conjure at inoppertune times need not be spoken of. I'm kind of jelly/insecure.

I've had an ex who couldn't stop yapping about his exes. He kept their photos and once compared our intimate parts. I was livid. Although mine were bigger, still something you'd never say. He talked about all the good times they had and how he missed her. I had no reason to hate her but I somehow felt he was trying to make me jealous despite being his GF. It was very disrespectful of him...and he continued treating me that way (stopped talking about the exes but they came up here and there).

When we broke up he hooked up with a high school friend that I suspect liked him or he liked I dunno...they cheated on me but she is pretty and perhaps sweet. All his GFs were all somewhat athletic and naturaly pretty-his type. I believe she might even be prettier than me but I didn't feel bad one bit. I didn't feel sorry for myself-we were exes then. If anything I felt sorry for her he's a piece of work.

My FI and I are on the same playing field. I had a husband and a BF. He's had one GF, fiancee, and a wife. It help only talked about our exes if it was necessary informtion. Even then there's not much to say: neither of us have children or any reason to keep in contact with our exes. If any consolation I know that I'm probably the brightest of his girls, the youngest, and share more in common with him than anyone. He knows he's the most mature I've had, the most sincere, and the best smile and personality. No need for either of us to blink an eye: we're each other's endgame.