Talking to Your SO About Ring Preferences (long)

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@windyPhoebee:  I know how you feel. I just went through this. I had given my now FI a variety of options that I really liked. I told him that I might like a moissy as an alternatvie so I could have a larger stone and stay within the budget we had sent (he was not into the of idea at all). We talked about cuts (princess), whether or not I wanted a solitarie (which I didn’t), what my ring size was (and he still ordered the wrong size), and what color gold I wanted it to be (white). I also wanted something semi-unique.

Much to my surprise when he proposed, it was a ring he had picked out completely on his own. And it is beautiful.

My advice to you would be to tell him what it is that you like and then let him make the end decision.

Post # 4
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I definitely think you should mention liking white sapphires to him..in the end the decision to purchase a diamond or a white sapphire will be his…but as you said, he probably won’t think of it on his own.  Maybe print a picture and be like, so I was looking online today and I saw this…its a white sapphire, wouldn’t it be beautiful for an engagement ring?” and go from there.  Thats how I would start the conversation off 😉

Post # 5
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think cases like these are when it’s ok to fib a little. Example: 

“I saw this girl on the train with a beautiful engagement ring. I asked her where she got it and she said it’s a natural white sapphire from the Natural Sapphire Company. I was blown away by how beautiful it was- we should check out sapphires!”

No harm, everybody wins!

Post # 8
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@windyPhoebee:  If you want a sapphire get a sapphire!  I’m going to be very honest with you though, I have white sapphire jewelry (not my wedding set but a necklace, earrings, and a right hand ring) and, while beautiful, it absolutely would NOT pass as diamond jewelry.  White sapphires don’t really “sparkle,” they’re sometimes called “dead stones” because they look quite a bit like glass (cz’s look a great deal more like diamonds than white sapphires do).  White sapphire engagement rings are stunningly beautiful, but if you are looking for a stone you can pass off as a diamond white sapphires will absolutely not work.  

 

Post # 9
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsChristopher:  +1. Even if you are not trying to pass it off as a diamond (and it sounds like you would be open about the stone) it is going to look like a poorly cut/low quality diamond to those not in the know that there can be white stones other than diamonds. I would definiatly research on here bees who have the white sapphire- I’ve found many say that they have to clean it very frequently to shine at all, and in general they wish they’d gone with a diamond sim like a moissy or cz than a sapphire

 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

What about a blue sapphire like Kate Middleton’s or a peach sapphire?

Or if you really want tradition, just let him pick the ring! I am sure you’ll love it since you seem easy to please. Unless he’s going into debt for this ring, I’m not sure why you’re so hung up on him getting you something nice that he can afford. You deserve it!

Post # 11
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I have a e-ring that is a white sapphire flanked by two blue sapphires, and while I love love love it so much (and picked it out), no one has ever thought it was a diamond.  You really can tell just at a glance.  not sure if that effects your choice, it didn’t for mine, but you should have the whole story before you decide!! 

Post # 12
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

@windyPhoebee:  

If you like saphire and want one, then tell him just that. There is no reason that you need to mention how much it costs. You can say something along the lines of “I dont know if you have bought a ring yet, but I saw a saphire ring that I really liked and the more I think about it the more I realize that I might want one for my Ering”.

Post # 13
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I have a yellow sapphire and have been told by several jewelers that most people probably will think it’s a yellow diamond. I don’t think that’s true, sapphires do NOT have the sparkle diamonds do. Mine is an amazingly cut stone and great quality but it still doesn’t and will never sparkle like a diamond. Which is why I put it in a halo, best of both worlds =)

I agree with PPs that you need to be totally aware that a white sapphire isn’t going to sparkle and they’re very transparent. And the cut makes or breaks the stone. I’m sure you’ve looked at

http://www.thenaturalsapphirecompany.com/sapphires/c-10-white-sapphires/

but if not, definitely do and look at the videos. I think you should tell him but he already sounds like he’s making this a competition for the best ring so I think it’ll take a lot to convince him to go another way (against diamond)

Post # 14
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

I have a white sapphire RHR and while it definitely does not look like a diamond, and does require a bit of extra cleaning to keep its sparkle, I absolutely love it and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I think the stone has character and even though most people know right away that it isn’t a diamond, it has fooled a few (mostly men haha).

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