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I'd love a comment on this as well... I have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that spans from shoulder to shoulder and nearly up to the base of her neck. I absolutely hate it and i want her to wear a bolero jacket.. however, I've been told this is unfair if I'm not requiring the others to wear one as well.
Would a cover kit work for something that large? I've heard you can also get them airbrushed, however, I don't know where to find a place that offers that service. And is the airbrush as thin and washable as makeup, or will it last the whole day?
I'm thinking there is at least a few brides out there that have dealt with tattoo dilemmas who could provide a little insight!
You can also use theatre makeup. I have a few small tattoos, but mine are hard to see. I have a minor one on my shoulder, that I plan on covering for the wedding. I don't think its un-fair, but helpful if you buy the supplies for them to cover it up.
If you go to a costume shop or dance supply store they sell a brand called Ben Nin ( I am not sure is that last part is the correct spelling) it's a heavy duty theatre makeup that covers well.
I can understand your concern, but I, personally, would never ask a bridesmaid to cover up a part of their body. My fiance is heavily tattooed, and I'm trying to plan an outfit so that his tatts will be visible, because thats him, and thats that.
If I were you, and it were really an issue you wanted to do something about, then I would talk to her and see how she feels. She may not mind at all, as Im sure she knows full well the reactions people have to tattoos, though, she may feel the opposite way.
Do you think she will find your request to be offensive?
Maybe you could ask all of your bridesmaids to wear a bolero? There are lots of cute wares on etsy.com.
My friend tried some of that cover make-up for a tattoo, it didn't work. The concern I have is if one feels strongly about a tattoo that is visible, one would pick a bridesmaid dress that would cover the tattoo.
I have used the tattoo cover up stuff and the theatre makeup. The theatre makeup works much better, just for work and other things I do in life I can't always have a tattoo visible. Also on the tattoo issue I think it all depends on the bridesmaids. I have had friends who have asked us to cover our tattoos up, which we agree without a problem. For those that have the full back or sleeve, I don't think its as much as a problem as a hassle. Since it would def. take some time in covering up. It works if you know what you are doing when it comes to covering them up.
Wow that's a tough one. I can see not wanting to hurt her feelngs. Especially since this tatoo has real meaning to her. Yet I can also see how seeing it at a full Catholic mass might be inappropriate.
I think the easiest/least offensive solution would be to have the girls wear some kind of jacket or wrap for the ceremony. Granted that won't fix the tatoo situation for the reception. But it sounds like it is mostly a concern with the ceremony.
Will anyone be terribly offended if her tattoo is exposed? I don't know much about Catholic traditions, but I say if it won't bother anyone, especially the officiant, or other members of that church, then you should let her have it exposed.
If you do think it will offend someone, then I like the wrap idea much better than asking her to cover it with make-up. It's less like you're asking her to change who she is.
Personally, I wouldn't ask her to cover up her tattoos.
One of my BM has a full arm sleeve and i am okay with it, despite the southern baptist wedding i am having.
I chose my BMs because they are my friends and bc of who they are as people. It is part of her personality, and one of the many reasons why I love her.
I am more worried about my fiance's parents, who are very conservative, than anything else. I have a tattoo myself, but mine is on my lower back and they have never seent it!
As far as I know, it's not against Catholic teachings to have a tattoo. That said, if your church is more conservative or if you and your families are, then actually you should all cover your shoulders inside the church. I probably wouldn't single her out as it would not only create a strained moment but might also make her feel quite uncomfortable.
I say, don't worry about anyone, including the church and just let your friend show off her tattoo. If you are really worried about modesty in the Catholic church, then really they shouldn't be wearing anything strapless or shoulder showing anyway. Or, find a bolero for ALL the girls to wear so the one BM doesn't feel like she stands out for a bad reason.
If you're going to ask her to wear a bolero, you should ask all of your BMs to do so, just for the ceremony. They could take them off for the posed photos, since a tattoo on someone's back would not be visible in those.
I don't see why a tattoo would be offensive in the eyes of the church. I'm not religious anymore, but I was raised Catholic and was never told that tattoos in church were disrespectful or anything. I agree with the above commenter who said her FI has tattoos and "that's him, so that's that." The tattoo is part of who your BM is, and if you really felt strongly that her tattoo should not show, you probably should have chosen a BM dress accordingly. It's your wedding -- everyone will be looking at you, not at her.
If I were your bridesmaid, I'd be offended if you asked me to wear something that you weren't asking everyone to wear just because of a tattoo.
For the record, the name of the brand of theatrical makeup is Ben Nye.
And as far as the "to cover up or not to cover up" dilemma, I think if it's going to be something you'll never hear the end of from your FILs, it might be worth taking action on (having BM dresses that would cover it or having a bolero or wrap). If you've already picked out the dresses and it's a done deal, I'd be willing to bet that your BM would understand if you want her to cover it up - though I'd also be willing to bet that at least a little piece of her would be disappointed since her tattoo is a particularly meaningful tribute to several members of her family.
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I have a tat on my shoulder and for my BF's wedding we all wore different dresses and I chose one that would cover it - mostly because I knew she didn't really like it and because I didn't want it to be something she focused on - if my dress had not covered it, and she had asked me to wear something for the ceremony, I would never have minded.
I like the idea of having them all wear something over their shoulders for the wedding then they can take it off for pictures and the reception. I would talk to her and ask her how she feels that you would like it covered.
One of my bridesmaids has visible tattoos. She asked me if I want her to cover them up, which was very considerate of her. I told her that I have no intention of asking her to cover them. I, personally, don't like tattoos for myself, but its not like anyone is asking me to get one. I asked her to be my BM because I want her to be a part of our wedding, not because she has virgin skin!
A priest who did mass at my high school had a visible tattoo on his arm. He said he got it before being ordained.
I don't have tats but I know how much thought and inspiration and passion goes into the tattoos my friends have. I would feel uncomfortable asking someone to cover something like that. If the church said no, then I would tell her that's what happened and offer to give her a pashmina type shawl or bolero for the ceremony.
What in interesting topic...
One of my bridesmaids has a very visible tatoo that I'm not a big fan of and I know if I asked her to cover it up she would be offended, b/c it's a big part of who she is. She also has a very "boyish" hair style and I'd never ask her to wear a wig. So I'm just gonna have to deal with it. However, on the pictures that I'm sending to my more conservative family I'm probably going to ask the photographer to photoshop it out, b/c I want the focus to be on me, not my BMs tatoo.
I just posted about this and didn't even realize this topic was on the boards. Then again it's a few weeks old and I didn't scroll down enough either :)
I think it would be okay if it showed because it sounds like such an innocuous design. Other than the fact that it's a tattoo, which many people of older generations think are distasteful no matter what, a bouquet of flowers tied with a ribbon is not inherently offensive. If it was a skull and crossbones or a scantily clad person or something similar then there would be room for people to be offended at the design itself.
If you really would like for her to cover it up, I second the suggestion for all bridesmaids to wear a bolero, cardigan, or cover-up for the ceremony and to let them wear whatever they want for the reception. While makeup might cover it up, I worry what will happen as the day goes on...who knows what it will rub up on. Also, if you are going to have dancing at the reception and she starts to get sweaty from moving around a lot, will the makeup start to run off? If someone touches her back when dancing with her, will they get a hand full of makeup?
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I have asked one of my bridesmaid to cover up her tattoo, and she went all crazy and got offended. Its a flower and its faded so it looks like a blob of nothing just ugly. I told her she has to ware a long dress so it covers it up. She went completly psycho and wrote this huge blog on how i am an awful friend for saying that. Shes not by bridemaid anymore. She's literally lost it, people say she was jealious of me getting married before her, as shes planning her wedding when shes not even remotly close of being engaged. Lost it i am tell you.
i think if you want her to cover it up, all the bridesmaids should have to rock a bolero or something like that, as its sounding like the makeup doesn't work. personally, i'd be pretty pissed if i was that bridesmaid and you asked just me to cover up my tatts, and i looked different from everyone else.
I don't think it is rude to ask, but I would just suck it up and let it go!
I got crap here when i was complaining about my MOH (who was also my future step daughter) for not liking that she got a huge tattoo that said GOD with a satanic symbol in the O right on the front of her shoulder. Everyone said to let her be herself and let it go. Luckily i didn't have to deal with it because she backed out of the wedding. Its your wedding, make the decisions YOU want to make.
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So one of my bridesmaids has a gorgeous tattoo on her back. It is a bouquet of violets tied together with a pink ribbon. It is in honor of her mother and grandfather, both breast cancer survivors and in memory of her grandmother who died from the disease. It really is beautiful. It is also very large. At least as big as the palm of my hand. It is also located on her shoulder. My dilemma is that we are having a very formal, full mass Catholic ceremony and the tattoo is completely visible with the bridesmaids dresses. Is it totally horrible of me to ask her to cover it? I would by the tattoo make-up to cover it for her. Or do I need to just suck it up and let it go?