- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I could use your opinion on something. Here’s the deal: I already have 10 tattoos, with half of them in visible places (my forearms, wrists, and back. The rest are on my ribcage). I was tattooed when DH and I started seeing each other almost three years ago, and he has 14 tattoos himself (and plans on getting more). Now I was always very open about the fact that I planned to get more of them ASAP. Well with the wedding, and a new apartment and dog, money was tight for awhile, and I haven’t gotten any tattoos since my last one, last July (over a year ago). I have always wanted a colorful chest piece (not in or on my cleavage, but above it), and I finally have the time and money to do it. I booked my appointment and told DH.
He is now showing some displeasure at my idea to do this and I can’t understand why. He’s always commented on how “sexy” he thinks chest pieces can be, and he is a tattoo lover himself. We’ve talked about it, and he has admitted that he’s worried about what his family will think. His parents are very conservative, and we have an amazing relationship but there are a lot of things we differ on. Now I’m upset because for me, my tattoos are a hugely personal thing and a big part of my life, and while I love my DH and care what he thinks, it’s still MY body and I’m not sure he should have any say in me doing this.
I guess I’m just upset because I know this is what I want, and I want him to be supportive of it. I don’t care what anyone thinks and never have, and he cares too much. I do feel that certain things were okay when I was just his “hot girlfriend,” but now that I’m his wife, those same things may rub him the wrong way and that bothers me. It’s also not like I went from having zero tattoos to suddenly wanting one large, visible one-I already have visible ones and he knows how much my tattoos matter to me.
At the end of the day, DH’s opinion is the only one that matters to me and I do want him to be happy and feel like I respect his opinion, and I need some perspective. As far as his hesitation because of his family, they love me and know me for the person I am, and if a tattoo is going to change all of that, then it’s on them for being judgemental, not me. However, I somehow need to reconcile being myself and wanting this tattoo and caring about what DH wants too. I want him to love me the same with or without the tattoo.
**For the record, I do not wish to hear how some bees don’t like tattoos at all, or feel that a chest piece is a bad idea because its so out in the open, what about your career, blah blah. I’ve already considered all of these things, and while I respect that some people feel this way, this post is strictly on how much of a say my DH should have with what I do to my body within the realm of tattooing.**
ETA: I do know that the permancy scares him, beause its not like when I cut my hair and he maybe doesn’t care for it, and I can just grow it back and change it again. Once it’s there, it’s there and in a very visible place. This is also why he’ll be coming to the appointment and agreeing on the design with me. If he hates what the artist draws up, we’ll change it. I do understand that it’s permanent and that can be scary, but I guess I still think that his attraction to me shouldn’t be so dependent on a tattoo either way, but maybe that’s naive.