(Closed) Tea Ceremony AFTER the reception and difficult people. How to make it work?

posted 5 years ago in East Asian
Post # 3
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@blinx:  I could be wrong about this, but I thought the tea ceremony for the bride’s parents was supposed to be before the wedding ceremony (sometime in the morning). Maybe you could arrange for separate times to meet with your parents before the ceremony. Since your father doesn’t get along with the groom’s parents, I definitely like your idea of doing the tea ceremony with the groom’s parents after the reception.

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Are both sides of your (new) family Chinese?  Would putting those people up in front of a room of other people make them behave, lest they lose face?  Would everyone else there understand what was going on, or appreciate seeing the tea ceremony?

We ended up doing the tea ceremony AT our reception, very first thing.  Well, after cocktail hour, etc, right after we got there.  Most of the guest list was “mine” because his extended family is still in Taiwan, and, being very American, they appreciated seeing it.  His parents liked the idea of doing it in front of everyone else, too.  We just had my brother briefly explain what it was while we were setting up the chairs so they understood. 

Otherwise – yeah – have them come at different times or “make a special visit” to each of their rooms or homes to do it separately. 

Post # 7
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@blinx:  Sounds like your best bet, then.  If you have the time you can ask to spend the evening (dinner?) with his parents the night before and do it then.  Even one at a time if need be. 

Then just let them know you want to spend that morning with your parents, if its your childhood home even better, easier to explain. 

You’ll want to away with your husband after your reception anyway, not be serving tea for red envelopes.  😉

Post # 8
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@blinx:  Yes, I think that should be fine! You’d be satisfying all parents’ needs while saving yourself all of the headache of doing back-to-back “appointments.” Can you also combine the rehearsal dinner with one of the tea ceremonies?

I agree with @almostmrsj: in that you’ll probably want alone time with your husband after the reception. Maybe you can spread them out the day before.

Good luck!

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