Post # 1
I am not yet engaged, but me and my boyfriend of almost a year and a half have been talking about marriage since before we were dating. We have been planning for April 10, 2016, when i will be 18 and he will be 19. We know we are meant to have a life together, but we just dont want to make a bad decision on when we should make that step. We have a super strong relationship since we go to different schools in different cities, they arent far apart and we see each other once a week during school and multiple times during the summer, but it just makes everytime we are together that much better. We are trying to decide if we should get married as soon as possible, or if we should wait until we can live on our own and have more money. I just want to hear your stories and advice! thanks!
Post # 3
Definitely wait until you can afford a place to live. I cant imagine anything worse than re-living the time I spent living with my ex-fiance and his family!
I loved them… And then I moved in. It was horrible! We should have just waited to get a place by ourselves!
Post # 4
WEEEEEELLLL, I got engaged my junior year to my high school sweet heart. He joined the Marines and proposed before his first tour in Afghanistan. We were together for 4 1/2 years before some shit happened and we broke up for a year while I was in college. By chance we started talking again and now we are getting married in a week in a half. My advice is to wait a bit. We were meant to be but we both needed to work some things out and work on ourselves a little bit before we were ready to make a commitment like that. If you both won’t be old enough to drink at your wedding you might want to wait a bit. I’m not really one to talk because I’m 21 and FI is 24, but we did a LOT of changing that year we weren’t together and…I guess what I’m trying to say is take you time 🙂
Post # 5
@rodeoidahochic: Unfortunatly if you believe the overwhelming numbers of studies about teen marriage rates, anything you can do to wait until at least your early 20s to get married the better off you are. If you can wait until then the chance that you’ll end up divorcing drops greatly.
Post # 6
Take your time! Enjoy being love and in love! No need to rush 🙂
Post # 7
What’s the rush? You have your whole life.
Post # 8
So, you are currently 15/16? Just take it easy, enjoy your time together, and you can leave the marriage thing for a few years down the road.
Post # 9
DH and I met when we were 16 so I know that you CAN meet The One that young and have a fulfilling relationship. However, we waited 9 years before getting married. We are both completely different people than we were 10 years ago when we met and luckily we’re two very much in love and compatible people.
that was not true of the BF I had when I was 15. At one point I knew that if he proposed I would say yes, looking back on that I could strangle that girl.
TLDR: young love happens and CAN be real and meant to be. But don’t jump into it. Grow up with each other a bit and constantly keep tabs on who you are and what your goals are so you know if you’re together for love or together because of a rut/divorce is expensive and frowned on.
Post # 10
So you’re 15? Dear, don’t fret about marriage now. Focus on school and your life goals – and if you have a lovely boyfriend mixed in with that, then that’s great. But marriage takes a lot of work, and it’s much better if you two know who you are and have a stable footing – which means solid finances, life experience, and jobs/careers. That likely won’t happen until your 20s.
If you’re still with him in 10 years and get married then, it will be so much better. And do they extra few years of waiting matter by the time you’re in your 80s and have grown old together? Not at all.
Post # 11
MY brother married a girl he started dating when he was 16. They waited 9 years to get married. Now, At 32, they’re still very happy.
Post # 12
FH and I met when we were 14 and 15. Throughout high school, we were going strong, happy as clowns, didn’t worry about the future until college was looming and I didn’t want to stay with FH unless he thought he might want to marry me someday. Suddenly, everything changed. He started distancing himself and I started freaking out and making excuses for why he was acting that way.
Long story short, we had to break up for half a semester and date other people before deciding that we wanted to be together for good. When we got back together, it was a different, more mature relationship since we knew we were heading for marriage. We’re getting married after we’ve both graduated from college, when I’ll be 21 and he’ll be 22. We are both SO different than when we were in high school, even than when we were 18. We’ve managed to grow and change together, but you need to at least get out of your parent’s house and live life a little to really become YOU before deciding that this is the guy you want forever.
Post # 13
@rodeoidahochic: I would advise you to wait, you are not even done developing your personalities yet. You’ve been together a year and a half but see each other once a week and really don’t know what the other will be like when it comes to careers, future, housekeeping, finances and so many other things that really end up being a big part of marriage. It’s nice to be young but honestly, so much of what you think you know or want will change many times as you continue to grow and develop. Obviously ,one continues to grow throughout the lifespan but these formative years are so huge and you WILL change and so will he… Good luck!
Post # 14
I agree that waiting would be the best. You very well may be meant to be together, but you really do grow a lot in your late teens and 20s. You might grow together and have an even stronger relationship, or you might grow apart. Are you planning to go to college? If so, I think that’s even more of a reason to wait. That’s the time you really learn yourself, when you’re not in *such* a structured environment as high school and living with your parents (although it’s still structured). I started dating my fiance my freshman year of college, and we knew right away that there was a good chance we’d end up married, but we knew we weren’t ready just yet. We’ve both grown a lot since then, but we’ve grown together. It’s been almost seven years, and we’ve experienced college together and also living on our own and building careers (long distance). That time was really invaluable and strengthened our relationship and our individual selves.
Post # 15
I would wait. If I’d married the guy I was madly in love with at 16, my life would be miserable. There’s no way you could have convinced me of that at the time though. You will both do a lot of growing and changing over the next few years. It’s a fun and exciting time as you try to figure out career and future paths. If there’s no problems with the relationship then just use this time to have fun and enjoy one another’s company. Once you’ve both grown up a bit and settled down then I would consider marriage. This time in your life should be about focusing on what’s best for you. Once you’ve done that and if you two are still going strong, you’ll have a much stronger relationship because you took the time to grow both individually and as a couple.
Post # 16
@rodeoidahochic: Everyone I know who got married right out of HS is now divorced. Everyone I know that got married right out of college is now divorced. Everyone I know that dated during HS and/or college, but waited until they were 25-28 to get married is still married.
Your brain doesnt stop developing until you are 25. You dont really know what your adult self will be until after that. The key to the success of the couples I mentioned before is they dated each other, but didnt hold the other person back. So some went to different colleges, others traveled or studied overseas without their SO, others lived separately until engaged. They made sure they were fully autonomous, independent adults before jumping into marriage.
Good Luck, but dont put all your eggs into one basket. Dont turn down chances to live a full life, just to be near him.