Post # 1
What is the best way to make moving/changing schools easier on a 16 year old boy? How do you make a transition less stressful or more fun? Do you think it would be lame to take them to the school for a tour? How did you go about driving lessons? Did you/would you let them take classes or would/did you teach them yourself?
Any help would be very appreciated!
Post # 3
I don’t think a tour is lame, but I think at 16 you should ask him if he wants a tour or not. In terms of making the change easier.. it’s best to do it at the end of a year or semester. Maybe take him shopping for a few new outfits or something too? It totally depends on the kid though, not all teenage boys will care about new clothes or shoes.
For driving lessons I always had just my dad teaching me. Initally both my parents taught me and they said contradicting things so it was becoming frustrating. I think having 1 teacher is best. Then my parents hired someone for a few private lessons to work out the last few issues and get me ready for the road test.
Post # 4
@Payless: I think a school tour wuld be a good idea! My sister taught me to drive- no driving lessons here! Maybe tell them about how great the sports teams are, sports in the area, things to do/ attractions are, to get them excited about the move?
Post # 5
@Payless: I can involve him by asking him what he wants. As for the school tour if he is embarrassed you can take him after school hours so he doesn’t stand out, but still gets to find out what to expect. You can teach him yourself if you have the patience. If you feel uncomfortable, hire someone. By the way, some schools offer driving lessons. If you give him a choice, you should br prepared to follow through.
If you are a patient teacher, teaching him might be good for your relationship.
Post # 6
@RedPandas: Clothes shopping is a great idea! He is coming at the end of his first semester during the winter break and doesn’t have a real attachment to his current school. I will ask him if he wants a tour but should I go with him? I guess I can ask him that too…Shopping is definitely a wonderful idea and he loves his sporty shoes!
Did you prefer the private lessons or your parents teaching?
@little_d: I don’t know much about the attractions out here but the high school DID go to the football playoffs! I may call the prinicpal and ask about their music programs, he likes guitar so that might be something.
Post # 7
As the mom of a grown young man one thing I’ll let you in on – boys act tough but inside they’re not much different from the smaller boy they once were. It’s a difficult time in his life but he’ll be ok with your patience, compassion and understanding. Even if he tries the tough guy act sometimes, gently let him know you’ve got his back.
Post # 8
@Payless: For the initial first few days after he gets there maybe show him around places he might enjoy based on his interests (e.g. if he likes music take him to a really cool record store/music store. Or if he is into art take him to a couple art shows/galleries) As for school, try to be sympathetic to the fact that he is moving to a new location where he knows no one and is leaving behind all of his current friends. I would ask him about a school tour before you set concrete plans, some kids just aren’t into that. Allow him time to relax and adjust to his new home. The driving issue..well I have never had driving lessons and have never been taught by anyone..I kinda taught myself. But it all depends on how you feel about it and if you can afford driving lessons. Where I am from I know that if you complete driver training then you will have a slightly cheaper insurance rate but I don’t know what it’s like where you are.
I hope at least some of my novel has helped a little lol.
Post # 9
For the school part, ask him whether or not he’d like a tour. I went on one when I moved (I was much younger) and I remember people staring at me and feeling uncomfortable. Do you know anyone who has kids his age that go to the same school? If you do, I’d introduce them, but in an informal setting so he doesn’t feel too pressured. If not, does he play any sports or something like that? I’d talk (alone) to the coach or leader of a club/team/group he might be interested in and see if you can get him involved with the school in that way.
As for driving, my dad taught me and then I took driver’s ed. Where I grew up, you had to take a driving course if you were under 18.
Post # 10
Yup I think asking him is the best idea! Does he want a tour and if he does, should you go with him? If the tour is after hours he will probably be more likely to want you to come. If it’s during school hours he might not want to be seen with him mom walking around with him lol. But again, it totally depends on the kid! Some are more indepedent than others at that age.
I liked my dad teaching me and private lessons. I thought my dad did a great job and we got along totally fine will doing them. I thought private lessons were good for the last 4-5 lessons because it caught any of the things my dad accidentally missed/never came up somehow.
The driving teacher knew the common mistakes that people made and knew what to check to make sure I knew how to do. For example, somehow when my dad was teaching me we never came to a left hand turn at a green light situation where I needed to establish and wait my turn. I guess there were never any other cars coming from the other direction or I had an arrow or something. My driving instructor spent a whole lesson working on left hand turns with me (after he discovered that I didn’t realize establishing was a thing). He taught me to watch for people crossing the road, watch that the light hadn’t turned yellow, watch for oncoming cars, etc. when turning left. My dad was a great teacher, but he missed some things by accident. It’s the professionals job to make sure all bases are covered!
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I don’t have any advice, just wanted to let you know that I think it’s awesome that you are putting so much effort into this- he is very lucky!
Post # 12
I moved at 13!
We toured the school outside of normal school hours, so no one stared at us or anything. They outlined what clubs there were, and I got a feel for the general lay-out of the school!
I think it really depends on his high school now!
I was bullied at my previous school, was THRILLED to leave and make new friends, and did really well!
But my sister was the Queen Bee #1 most popular, was DESTROYED that we were moving, and had a MUCH harder time.
Post # 13
@Sunfire: Oh yes, you read on the last thread that he got caught doing drugs and I had to be the one who yelled at him. He always cries when he knows I am REALLY dissappointed. I am sure he will test the waters but I KNOW he is a great kid. He truly has a wonderful heart and although he makes dumb choices he has a conscious. He cares less when I am mad and more when I am dissapointed.
@sparky263: We have the option of letting him go to school on the military base but I think that would be TOO much of a cultural shock so we are setting him up with the high school by us off post. I will ask DH to go with me to find some cool hangouts he might enjoy, he loves skate boarding so maybe there is a park nearby! I am trying to get all my thoughts together and every bit of advice helps, thank you!
@nber0815: Hm, I think my DH has a friend with a teenage son but he goes to school on base while we would have my brother attend a civilian school. I will see what I can do to get them to meet though! They have after hour tours so there shouldn’t be kids there to judge him…I will see what he wants to do.
@RedPandas: He is my brother so although I think I am pretty cool he might still find that embarrassing! Sounds like a class might be better for him since I may not be super great at explaining things completely.
Post # 14
@BrandNewBride: He hasn’t been hanging out with the right crowd so we are hoping he makes better choices at his new school! The school offers an after hours tour so if he is interested I will definitely take him to it! Although he should probably go whether he wants to or not (just to get the hang of the campus)
@MeiFrancis: thanks, I am a big mess right now! I will probably be asking the Bee a ton of questions to make sure I am doing this the right way!
Post # 15
@Payless: He’ll definitely do things to test your limits. He is so lucky to have you!
Post # 16
@Sunfire: Thanks, taking care of him at my moms is just so different then taking him on completely! I am terrified and excited…Thank godness that DH was on board right away!