Post # 1
Whenever fi gets super stressed he grinds his teeth in his sleep. In 4 years, I’ve noticed it maybe 5 times. He’ll do it for a couple of days and then it will stop. He internalizes everything, so I think that makes it worse.. but he’s just a very quiet, private person. He would rather go to the gym than talk about something he can’t change.
The past few weeks though, it’s a few times a week. We’re 78 days out from the wedding, and we’ve been making a lot of decisions back to back. Our destination wedding is creeping up on us, and we still have so many details to iron out!!
I’m worried not only about his teeth, but his b/p (he’s been told he has 4 months to get it down, or he will have to go on b/p meds), and just overall being so stressed for so long.
Any internalizers have ideas on what I can do to help? Or is it just something you have to work out in your own way?
Post # 3
SO grinds his teeth at night and it drives me totally insane. It’s like nails on a chalkboard while I’m trying to sleep. I’ve literally reached over and massaged his jaw in his sleep to try and get him to stop.
There are dental appliances you can get to stop grinding. Even an old retainer would keep him from doing it.
Post # 4
I do this. It’s actually called Bruxism.
FI put a mouth guard in my stocking stuffer for Christmas. lol
But seriously, he should talk to a dentist. It can really damage your teeth. I should know :/
Post # 5
Sorry to hear this! I am a teeth grinder myself. I am also an acupuncturist, and one technique I have learned to help resolve this is to do some meditation. As your FI is falling asleep, have him blubber his lips, focus on relaxing his jaw, and imagine himself as a loosey-goosey drooling/slobbering fool! I know it sounds funny, but I have seen many many people find this effective. As few as 10 minutes a night can do wonders.
Blood pressure is a slightly different, though often related story. (STRESS) We all know that diet, exercise, and lowered salt intake can help. Relaxation, meditation, and massages can really help too! Lifestyle changes are often the easiest place to start.
Good Luck in the home stretch 🙂
Post # 6
I just went to the dentist about teeth grinding. I am nineteen and the dentist compared my teeth fractures from grinding and clenching my teeth to an 80 year old man. It causes some major teeth problems. You can buy a night gaurd at walgreens/cvs/stuff like that but I am planning on getting molds of my teeth and getting a gaurd from the actual dentist. He says its better than getting crowns or root canals later on.
This might sound crazy/silly, but since he already works out, try yoga, it helps with me. You could even do the whole at home yoga dvds. That should also lower his b/p slightly since it is very relaxing. Maybe once the wedding is passed (which I am sure will be beautiful) it will relax him a little more (less things to worry about)
Hope it works out
Post # 7
@thefuturemrsrowe: I’m no doctor, but my BP can spike and I can get into teeth grinding when I’m stressed. So I need to reduce stress levels. But someone telling me that I should be doing things differently sometimes hasn’t helped me. Frankly it often sends my BP up. I get this feeling: “No sh*t I need to do things differently. But today I can’t. So back off.” I assume he’s knowledgeable about how to reduce his stress and BP since he has discussed with a physician. It sounds like he’s on the right path with the exercise. I think the best you can do is to encourage the healthy habits—not by reminding him about what those healthy habits are—but by altering your lifestyle and requests on his time/mind to suit those healthy decisions. A lot of folks above gave you excellent advice on what he can do to help him with his stress levels, but here are some things you can do to help him.
As a bride-to-be with a lot to get accomplished in the evenings, let him get to sleep on time. Never ask a stressed man questions before bed and for the love of Moses do not run through a list of to-dos before bed time. For responsible men, when we can’t do anything about it (bedtime), all we do is let our minds race. So it may be fun and natural for you to want to discuss wedding planning right before bed. Don’t. Save it for the a.m. Like I said, if we can’t take action, our minds will simply race. No sleep = more stress, less energy for exercise, more caffeine required to get through the day, which means harder to get to sleep again = greater anxiety and higher BP. Also, if he’s stressed, his memory may be shot. If you ask him to do something before bed-time re: the wedding, he will forget by the time he wakes up and not address it throughout his day. It’s best to ask him to do wedding stuff when he can do stuff. Don’t say something like this at bed time, “Remember tomorrow to call the GM and tell them to get fitted.” Instead. Hold your tongue. Go to bed. Wake up in the morning. Go to work. Shoot him in an email like, “Can you call those rascals and tell them to get fitted?”
You can also give him massages or buy him a few from a therapist. They are awesome and underutilized by many a stressed male.
There are lots of other things you can do to assist him. If you live together, go to bed early. Eat healthy. Go take walks with him. If it eats into TV/Internet/Video Game time, that’s a good thing for stress. I also find walks to be a good time to go over a to-do list especially if pen and paper are handy.
Post # 8
Ughhh, teeth grinding. I do this, REALLY badly in my sleep. SO says it sounds like I am chewing on rocks, lol. I definitely do it more when I’m stressed- I went a long time without doing it, then work got insane for a few weeks and he was constantly waking me up to stop me during that time.
One thing I read a long time ago that might help is focusing on falling asleep with your jaw relaxed and your teeth not touching at all. If they are clenched when you fall asleep it’s worse.
Post # 9
That really helps me, relaxing (and focusing on relaxing my jaw) when I lay down. It’s surprising how clenched I can be and not even notice it. Mr.ND has told me when I’m doing and also has noticed it reduces when I focus on releasing my jaw as I go to sleep. As for the bp, I’d try to eat right, lower sodium, reduce stress from the wedding by discussing it only from 5-6 or something. Stress will be hard to reduce before the wedding, most likely, but if he can maintain or reduce a bit maybe it’ll be enough to keep him off meds for another few months.
Post # 10
Thanks guys! So many good ideas! I’ll talk to him over the weekend about trying the relaxation techniques!
@Mrs.tobe: I’ll have to make dentist appts! Maybe I’ll make them for both of us.. and use whitening as an excuse to get there since we’ve both wanted to try it!?
@Verno Inferno: Thank you so much! It’s nice to hear the other side! I’ve been scared to talk to him about it, for the exact reason that I know he knows that it’s there and bringing it up can only make it worse.
As for diet: When we talked to the doctor, I took notes.. and just took on making his lunch as often as I can, and incorporated the guidelines into dinner. I don’t want to nag him about what he eats.. so I’m just trying to do my part without putting any pressure on him. Hopefully he’ll have some good results when he goes for his recheck in a few months!