- 5 years ago
I really need advice on how to deal with my FSIL. She has been nothing but rude to me. I just try to blend in the background. I’m polite and respectful. Usually I have no choice to be quiet because when we’re around her she’s yelling and screaming and my fiancé calling him names, or just complaining about stupid stuff. She’s even rude to our freaking dog! When the dog runs up to her she just yells “get away from me!”
All the mean things she’s ever said to me/around me are finally catching up and I can’t take it anymore.
We were engaged 6 months after her and her fiancé. She told us we weren’t allowed to get married before her… then she set her date for more than 2 YEARS. I tried to think about waiting for awhile and then we decided to get married 6 months before her. As far as I know everyone has said she doesn’t have a problem with it…. I’m starting to question that.
At our engagement party, about 20 minutes before people were suppose to show, she said to her fiancé “let’s get out of here before the ask us for help..” Right in front of me…
She came home from work one day making fun of people on food stamps and she literally made me cry. My family has been on food stamps and they’re so spoiled they don’t even know what it’s like to not be able to afford food.
More recently (like within the past couple weeks)…
She has begun planning for her wedding. I was talking to her mom about the make up that she has booked for her day and she told me that I would have to meet up with them to give them my colors. I asked if I was in the wedding, and she said she thought I knew. She just assumed I knew I was in her wedding… she still has yet to say anything to me. She is in my wedding for fear of her throwing a tantrum and we invited her over for lunch and I had cards made from etsy.com that I gave her. AND SHE ASSUMES I KNOW ABOUT HERS?!
She lives with their parents and me and my fiancé live in our apartment. When we go to visit we usually update them with recent plans and his parents are genuinely interested… obviously. She has chosen the same baker and photographer that we have and didn’t tell us. She bought her dress and didn’t tell us. I just want to cry I don’t know why we can’t be involved like they are with ours.
I’ve been bringing her wedding magazines, we went to his parents house and I set them on the coffee table. She came in and sat next to me, read the magazines and left. She never said hi or THANK YOU?!
Everyone I’ve talked to has just said to be nice and try to talk to her.
So last night we went over there. His mom asked my to show her my pinterest because she had seen a picture of something and she was trying to explain it to me. She came across something that I liked for her daughters wedding, it was a bridesmaids look in her colors and her mother called her over to come look at it. She sat there for a solid minute just texting, so we started talking and she just walked away, to tell her dad “they aren’t showing me anything!” they called her back in and she looked at it, made a face, and said “that’s not my style.” Here’s the picture, I didn’t know that was very stylish, it’s pretty basic and sticking to her colors.
I’m so confused at her behavior. I don’t even want to be friends with her, just friendly! It’s really starting to hurt my feelings and I don’t want to bring out the catty side of me if I don’t have to. I know I could tell her off and make her cry, which if she was my own sister I would! I don’t understand why they let her act like that. They never say anything to her. They say they’re all scared of her.
I don’t know if I should stand up for myself or just not go to his parent’s house for awhile.