(Closed) Tell him if you hate your ring! *a success story*

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
3849 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

Hooray! I love your ring.  Good for you that you were honest about not liking the ring.  I say if you can’t expect the man you love to handle the fact that you don’t like the ring, I have no idea how he will get through some of the big issues in life. 

Post # 4
Member
4716 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

Beautiful ring…

Post # 5
Member
6750 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Love the new ring so much better!  Good for you for being honest.  It hurts to hear the truth, but what would be worse is him seeing you not love it every time you look at it.  And now, he’ll see how happy he’s made you every time he sees you look at it and smile.  And that will help him get over it.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Love your new ring!

Post # 7
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

yay!! good for you. I would have done the same thing… In fact I did… twice haha. your man should consider himself lucky 🙂

Post # 9
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

yikes – sounds like that would be scary to have to do! Love the new ring though!

Post # 10
Member
3454 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The new ring is beautiful!

Post # 11
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I love your first ring!!!

But, I agree.  This is your life partner and you should be able to talk about anything!!! 

Glad you’re happy!

Post # 12
Member
1831 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i’m really glad it ended up working out! i liked your old ring, but i LOVE your new ring! so happy you’re happy!!

Post # 14
Member
8001 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

This is a very tricky one… I suppose you can either give unsubtle hints about what you want before or afterwards though, because men often don’t take subtle hints. I would usually say that you should just keep quiet and focus on the symbolism (if my friends asked what they should do). However, I’m probably just as bad, if not worse…. see what you think about the comparison here.

Months before FI and I got engaged, I couldn’t resist and brought a free jewellery catalogue home just before Valentine’s Day…

Me: “Wow, some of this jewellery is really so nice, and reduced in price, too!”

Him: *disinterested* “Meh, girl’s stuff.”

Me: “I definitely think that platinum is the way forward for special occasion rings, and I love solitaires… nothing too big or flashy… maybe something like this or this or this *circles a few examples at a variety of prices*”

Him: “Hang on, aren’t those engagement rings?”

Me: “Er, yes…. but they are so classic that you could wear them for a variety of occasions, don’t you think? The sort of thing you could wear for the rest of your life, perhaps…”

Him: *looking terrified* I’m going to go and open another beer.

Me: *trying to play down that desperate, bunny boiler sort of feeling* Er… OK, I’ll have one too… I’ll just leave the catalogue… here, in the meantime and… tidy up later….

I don’t know… is it worse to drop hints before or after, do you think?

Post # 15
Member
4110 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Love the new ring, good for you!

Post # 16
Member
4356 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I dropped hints before and FI eventually asked that we go to stores and look together. I spointed out about 5 or so that I liked and then we stopped talking about it. I decided to bring it up in the first place though because in his mind, solitaires were the ONLY engagement ring a girl should have. They are gorgeous, but just not “ME”. I battled with “should I tell him I don’t like them?” “should I show him ones I like?” then finally came to the conclusion that our relationship was about honesty too, and that I would be wearing this ring for the rest of my life and I wanted to love it everyday of that time so, I told him. He had the final choice of all the rings (and he picked my favorite!) and the decision about if, when, where and how to propose.

It would definitely be harder to tell him after, but I think I would have. I don’t want to keep secrets from my FI, especially ones that are in your face everyday.

Good on you OP for *gently* telling your FI and getting something that makes you truly happy.

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