Tell me about being a Mama

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
7132 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

-one word to describe pregnancy

Rollercoaster

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be?

I think this depends on many different factors. Some people have easy babies and some don’t, some people have a lot of support and some don’t, etc. I have what I would consider a challenging baby, DH worked 24 hour shifts with OT, I worked 2 days a week, and we lived 3000 miles away from friends and family during our DD’s first year. I was a pretty tired Mama. We just moved across the country to be close to family, and it has been a huge help! Even on my tired days, it is still a lot of fun to be a mom. She smiles at me or does something silly that more than makes up for it 🙂

-what do you wish you had done before having children?

I wish we had traveled more and really enjoyed taking naps anytime I wanted! I also wish I had done boudoir photos for myself and for DH.

-what do you miss about your old life?

Sleeping whenever I wanted.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed?

I feel like we have become even closer emotionally. It’s awesome to see this little person who you both love so much. I will say that it’s also changed things like how often we get to go places with just the two of us. It does take effort to make sure that not everything becomes about the baby.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life?

Hmmm, that’s a tough one because I feel like becoming a parent kind of changes and touches everything. I guess the biggest thing that has changed for me is that I used to really love alone time, and that is a fairly non-existent thing with a baby! I really don’t mind giving it up, DD is more than worth it.

-is it terrifying?

In a way, yes. I tend to be an anxious person, and when you love someone so incredibly much, it can be scary. I think worrying just comes with the territory of being a parent. There’s a quote that says something about how being a parent is like deciding to let your heart walk around outside of your body, and that’s exactly how it feels to me. I remember being so scared in the beginning about every little thing, but I have become more relaxed as she’s gotten a bit older. You become more comfortable and confident as you learn together with your LO. Overall, I think motherhood is pretty wonderful 🙂

Post # 3
Member
4381 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

-one word to describe pregnancy

Slow.

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be?

No. 

-what do you wish you had done before having children?

Hmm…nothing? I did a lot of cool adventure-type stuff and also was financially stable. 

-what do you miss about your old life?

Being able to go for long runs whenever I want. Everything must be scheduled with my husband now.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed?

It’s gotten stronger. We are both seeing and admiring new qualities in each other. 

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life?

Being really schedule-bound. I can’t spontaneously stay out late after work, or go see a movie randomly, or anything. I have to be home a lot more, and when I’m not home, it’s a big deal. 

-is it terrifying? Lol

No! It’s awesome. Totally worth every change you’ll experience. 

Post # 4
Member
8383 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

-one word to describe pregnancy

interesting? lol.  In the beginning I sort of felt like I had an alien invade my body (it seems very weird to realize your body is not your own) but then I got used to it and loved feeling her movements.  the beginning sort of sucks, but I think it gets better as it goes on

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be?

No.  I have a pretty easy baby.  She sleeps fairly well overall and she isn’t an early riser so she never got up until 8 or 9am.  Maternity leave I got to sleep in with her until 10am sometimes so it made up for getting up so much at night.  She still gets up at night but I kind of doze while feeding her.  Overall I’m not really tired and I only have had sporadic days or weeks that were “off” for us where I was more tired than normal.

-what do you wish you had done before having children?

I feel like I did a lot of things I needed to do…maybe travel more.

-what do you miss about your old life?

Being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever!  There have been some times I wanted to go out with friends on a Friday (who are out of town) or wanted to go with DH to an event during a weekday but then realized it doesn’t start until 7pm and baby has to go to bed at 730/8pm.  My parents do babysit a lot but I usually have to wait for a weekend since they live an hour away. 

-how has your relationship with your SO changed?

It’s the same, in the beginning we argued more…mostly because I was anxious over the baby and I can be a worrier and controlling.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life?

Definitely have to be very scheduled and I can’t just pick up and go do something an hour later if I wanted to all the time.  It also takes forever to travel with a baby and you have to take a lot of crap to take with you!!  Breastfeeding for a year also makes it hard to get away because you have to either time it around feedings or be able to schedule pumping.

-is it terrifying? Lol

Yes, I was pretty terrified the first week or two.  It does get easier but in a way the worrying will never end.  It’s very hard to love someone that much, it’s overwhelming and absolutely terrifying to think about what could happen to your baby or what happens to other peoples babies.  I can barely watch the news anymore because it pretty much makes me sick to my stomach sometimes   It’s a very different kind of love than anything I’ve experienced before, even though I love my parents, friends, DH…it is a very different (and almost more powerful in a way?) kind of love.  Which makes it really scary! 

Now, I’m not running around terrified or anxious on a daily basis (mine is 6 mo), it’s just something that creeps in when I read things or hear news stories.  Overall, it’s wonderful but it’s very hard to love someone the way you will love your babies!

Post # 5
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

-one word to describe pregnancy: Ever-changing, lol. You read all these books, none of which really helped me, and you think you get it figured out and then BAM! The 2nd trimester throws a curve ball at you. There is always a worry, fear, or some other feeling you will have.

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be? No. Have night’s been hard? Absolutely. Some nights I get very little sleep, but overall I haven’t been too tired to do anything.

-what do you wish you had done before having children? Nothing. We did what we set out to do which was get married, own a home, and get a dog.

-what do you miss about your old life? I don’t really miss anything. Things were most definitely easier, to be able to drop everything and just go (now it requires a bit more planning), but I am ok with this. DH and I often say to each other that it’s hard to remember what it was like before baby, and we both say it was too quiet.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed? We are definitely closer and stronger. Having a baby has tested our patience with each other (I was pretty protective right away), but we make sure to talk it out, and it has improved our communication.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life? Not being able to do what I want at the drop of a hat. Everything needs a schedule and a timeline. We need to leave at such and such time so baby is in bed. 

-is it terrifying? Lol: Yes and no. I was scared to lose the baby, and once that passed, I truly accepted the fact that labor and childbrith was going to happen so why freak out about it? Child birthing classes really helped me understand my options and explain how the doctors at my particular hospital handle births, so I was prepared. As far as childbirth, I was way too in the zone to be terrified. My brain couldn’t process sad, mad, happy, terrified, etc. It only knew one thing and that was to focus on whatever the nurses/doctor told me to do.

I remember sitting on the couch with this little newborn in my arms going, “What the hell now?” Now I couldn’t imagine my life any different. The mama gene kicks in instantly, and you know what to do. If you don’t, you search high and low until you do. Lots of learning, patience, and love go into raising a baby. I love my little 7 month old so much. The love definitely outweighs any fear.

Post # 6
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Here is my perspective from a 2nd time mom, 13 years later:

-one word to describe pregnancy

sloooooooooow – it seems to take forever

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be?

Nope, but this also depends not just on your baby but you as well.  If you set out that you’re going to be exhausted and it’s going to be difficult, then it will be.  

-what do you wish you had done before having children?

Nothing, we were completely ready

-what do you miss about your old life?

Not a whole lot as we already had a 13 year old and always on the move.  Baby just comes with us, whether its during nap time or not.  She’s a trooper!

-how has your relationship with your SO changed?

It’s been fun to see DH as a dad from the beginning.  He loves our girls equally but he wasn’t in our lives until DD#1 was 5.  We are a bit closer and he’s learning to have a little more patience with oldest daughter, which is wonderful.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life?

Not much.  We try as much as possible to have baby conform to our schedule, not the other way around – within reason of course.  I’ve missed a soccer game here and there due to weather, but most of the time she goes everywhere we go.

-is it terrifying? Lol

Nope, it’s a heck of a lot of fun.  It’s amazing how fiercely you love this little person immediately.  And just when you think you can’t love them any more, you do.  

Post # 7
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

-one word to describe pregnancy

Brutal (but I threw up pretty much every morning for the duration)

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be?

Not anymore, but I’m a SAHM for now, and my 6mo is a wonderful sleeper. The first few months were another story.

-what do you wish you had done before having children?

Travel. Our LO was a surprise two months after getting married, and we had planned on doing a big trip for our first anniversary since we only did a road trip two hours away from home for our honeymoon.

-what do you miss about your old life?

Down time and not scheduling life around the eating habits of an infant.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed?

I don’t think it has.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life?

I like babies. Seriously, I had no interest in children before I gave birth, even during my pregnancy. Now I can’t get enough of the cuteness.

-is it terrifying?

Absolutely, but it’s totally worth it.

 

Good luck to you and your hubs!

<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”><br /><br /></div>

Post # 8
Member
3385 posts
Sugar bee

 -one word to describe pregnancy emotional.

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be? Some days I feel like I never get enough sleep, other days I feel fine.  It’s more just how she is.

-what do you wish you had done before having children? Maybe explored a little more in life, I had my daughter young 22 and didn’t really get out into the world that much at all.

-what do you miss about your old life? I miss spontanity.  Sometimes my husband and I would go out to dinner for the heck of it.  Now it’s an act of congress.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed? Better than ever.  We’ve not only grown as individuals, as two people in a relationship but also as parents.  We’ve learned hte value of me time, us time, family time, and one on one time with our daughter.  We were a great couple before she came along but an even better after she came.  We have learned to do so much and be there for each other more than ever.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life? I have no social life.  No, we grew up.  We were young, having fun, living life as it came, but now we see things for what they really are.  Time is precious.  Every second I spend iwth my daughter is precious.  She’s only little for so long before she grows up to be grown woman.

-is it terrifying? Parenting can be terrifying, but it is so rewarding.  I’ve never had a a better experience than being a parent.  I absolutely love being a mother.  I would never take being a mother back.  It’s the best experience in the world.

<br /><br />

Post # 9
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee

-one word to describe pregnancy

Emotional

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be?

No, and I was a full time single mom without family help and a baby with colic

-what do you wish you had done before having children?

A lot, but I was very young. Mostly travel and realize how free I was.

-what do you miss about your old life?

Just going. And being a night owl without having to worry about the next morning.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed?

This one doesn’t really apply. But I will say that I think I have a deeper love for my BF because he is such a good role model and “fake dad” to my son.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life?

Again, I was very young. I’ve done a lot of growing up, career changes and lifestyle changes.

-is it terrifying? Lol

<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>In a word, yes. But it’s that really funny terrifying that people don’t realize how much fun it is going to be and how awesome it is. I’m always worried but I’m not scared. I’m always tired but I’m not exhausted. I never have enough money but I’m not poor. It’s a crazy ride but a fun one.</div>

Post # 10
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

-one word to describe pregnancy: uncomfortable

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be? I am more tired than I can even begin to describe. My daughter is high needs and cried for over 12 hours a day from the time she was about a month old. Now that she’s older she is usually happier but still doesn’t nap and wants to be played with constantly- she is not good at being left alone.

-what do you wish you had done before having children? Nothing really. We traveled, I got partying out of my system, we have stable jobs. I wish we had more money but I think that is usually the case.

-what do you miss about your old life? Having time to myself and working out. We both work retail on opposite shifts so one of us is alone with the baby a lot of the time. 

-how has your relationship with your SO changed? We communicate even more than we did before but have way less sex 🙂

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life? Adjusting to someone else’s “schedule”. She does not settle into a routine so it is hard to plan things and when you do try to go anywhere it takes forever and you need to bring a million things with.

-is it terrifying? Yes. But I was also diagnoised with post partum anxiety and recently started taking Zoloft, so that plays a major part in it.

IMHO, despite all the drawbacks.. it’s totally worth it. There are no words to describe how it feels when your baby snuggles in to you.

<br style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px;” /><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px;” />

Post # 12
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

-one word to describe pregnancy….Yuck

-are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be? Nope.  My baby started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and is just generally happy and easy-going. Yes I’ve had my tired moments when we’ve gone through a sleep regression or something but that has only lasted a couple weeks at the most.  For the most part, I feel just like I did before having a kid.

-what do you wish you had done before having children? Nothing, I was pretty ready and had accomplished a lot of the goals I had set for myself.

-what do you miss about your old life? Spontaneity. I miss being able to just be like “hey want to go to the movies?” vs. planning for a sitter.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed? We’re closer than we’ve ever been.  He is an amazing dad and I’ve gotten to see a whole new caring/nurturing side of him.

-what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life? I’ve actually become a lot more responsible and organized.  I have a schedule, a list of chores, a daily routine, etc where before it was kind of do things when I felt like it.

-is it terrifying? No, it’s better than I could have imagined.  Of course there are scary/anxious moments but I wouldn’t trade it for anything and I can’t wait until we can try for #2.

Post # 13
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Lauren267:  

one word to describe pregnancy:  wonderful

are you really that tired: less than people told me I would be.  You begin to adjust to your kid’s waking times, and then, it isn’t bad.  I am pregnant again now, though, and now I am just sleepy all the time!

what do I wish I had done before:  nothing.  I slept in plenty and was 30 before I got pregnant the first time.  I don’t feel like I missed out.

what do you miss about old life:  our long walks at night.  Now one of us has to be with the baby at all times, so husband and I can’t just peace out, not when she is sleeping.

relationship with spouse changed:  we are a little less physically affectionate throughout the day, but I think we have a deep appreciation for the sacrifices each of us makes.

biggest change: I am now a patient person with motherly instincts.

Terrifying:  not at all.  Finances get pretty scary, but things will work out one way or another.

Post # 14
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Lauren267:  

one word to describe pregnancy -amazing

are you really as tired as people make mothers out to be? -yes, but I’ve been this tired before kids. It’s manageable (but I only have one, a 3 month old)

what do you wish you had done before having children?- I did lots of cool stuff: endurance races, outdoor adventures, travel, partied. I had my son when I was 32.

-what do you miss about your old life? I do like getting shwasted once in a while- haven’t done that in a year and probably won’t for quite a while. How easy it was to get out the door.

-how has your relationship with your SO changed? -it’s better, we are a team and we delight in our baby. We’ve only had sex twice sine he was born, though….

what is the biggest thing that has changed in your life? just always thinking about my baby, I have to take him into account constantly

-is it terrifying? only occasionally. mostly it’s awesome.

Post # 15
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My baby is 8 months old. For a majority of your questions, my answer would be sleep!!! I think the most sleep I’ve gotten in a row is 5hrs. 

For the first few weeks I didn’t realize he needed to nurse every two hours. It was tough. Then a few months later there is sleep regression where he would wake up every hour or two. Now he is a lot better. 

I dream of the day when I could get more than six hours of sleep uninterrupted. Now I’ve learned to function on two-three hours of sleep. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors