Post # 1
I’m about to get married to a man in the military. I’ve done a lot of reading about marrying into the military, and feel I understand what I’m getting into, as much as I can without having experienced it. I’m well aware that he may deploy in the near future. I’ve prepared myself, again as much as I can, to be alone when he deploys.
I didn’t, however, realize that there are a few bases where your family cannot be with you. He doesn’t re-enlist for another couple years, and we have no reason to think it’s probable that he’ll be stationed at one of those bases where I can’t follow – so I’m not dwelling on it or getting emotional about it, but it’s a new possibility that I didn’t realize existed. I’m just very curious to hear about the experiences of miltary spouses who have had to do the long-distance thing, whether during a deployment or simply a spouse being stationed where you’re not allowed to be. Anything you’d like to share is great. Thanks!
Post # 2
I’m married to a military man! He is in the air guard and enlisted 2 years after we started dating. That was 3 years ago now. Since he is in the guard and not active, we do not live on a base.
We of course were long distance when he went to basic training for 2 1/2 months. Directly after that, he went to tech school for 7 months. That was rough, but I was in college still and was able to keep busy with my classes and friends. Plus he was still in the U.S so we were able to skype, text, email, etc.
Right now he is currently deployed in Afghanistan. Since he is in the guard, it wasn’t manditory that he go, but he volunteered. Of course we talked it over first, and were in agreement, but I still thought he was a bit crazy for wanting to go! haha. It is a 6 month deployment and we have 2 months left until he is home! This deployment has allowed us to build up our savings, which is important to us because we want to start a family next year and hopefully buy a house.
My biggest advice for you would be to find friends in your area (or on base where you’ll live) that support you. I had a few friends that swore up and down they’d be there for me when my husband left, but haven’t been. Find activities that will keep you busy (school, hobbies, whatever!). Staying busy helps the time go by so much faster. And of course communicate however you can! If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitant to PM me on here 🙂
Post # 3
My SO and I have been together almost 7 years, he joined the army after we had been together almost 5 years. He’s in the band, which puts my mind at ease because I know he won’t be likely to be sent to dangerous areas, however it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. He’s not overseas, but he is 2500 miles away and I can’t be with him because I’m still in medical school. We’ve seen each other once every 3-4 months for the last 2 years. I think the biggest thing is like PP mentioned – find things to keep you busy. When your SO is in the military you really need to be your own person and have your own life because once you’re separated, as much as you continue to carry on your relationship, there’s an awfully large space in your life to fill when he’s gone. That being said, I think the distance only helped to strengthen our relationship. Although I miss him terribly all the time, it’s the most amazing feeling to see him again and spend time with him. One other thing to remember is that the distance can be very hard on your SO, especially if there are holidays being missed, so it’s always a good idea to take some time to show him you care, whatever that might be for you two. I like to send him baked goods and candies that I used to make him when he was still home. 🙂
Post # 4
my FI is in the Marine reserves, a month after we started dating he left for boot camp and MCT, 3 months after he came home he was deployed and with all the workups was gone for a year. There’s no real preparing for it, I got my own place, partially so I could deal with the stress without everything else going on. I had a roommate who also had a boyfriend overseas and it was nice to have her around. Keeping busy is a must! I remember the 2 weeks before my FI came home and my roommate had moved out…I don’t think I left my house for at least 2-3 days in a row! But I also was in a city where I didn’t know anyone either. His weekly packages were my favorite thing to do. Just make sure that your lines of communication are open.