Post # 1
For me, the hardest wedding decision has been whether or not I’ll change my name. I absolutely LOVE my name for so many reasons, and am not such a big fan of my FI’s. It’s just a very very common name and it would alliterate with my first name which just… bothers me (haha).
I was initially considering just doing First Middle MaidenMiddle HisLast but recently I’ve been thinking of how sad I’ll be when people don’t say my maiden name when addressing me. I can sign First Maiden HisLast on as many checks and docs as I want, but realistically, I doubt most people would say my maiden name when talking with/introducing me.
Enter, the hyphen.
I had never really given it much consideration before but have been leaning towards it for the last month or so. So I’m wondering what people in the hive have to say about their experience (or their plans) with a hyphenated name? How many syllables is yours? Etc etc. Whatever anyone has to share would be appreciated 🙂
(And as a sidenote: my FI says its completely my decision and he doesn’t mind whatever I choose. He’s not willing to change his, which is fine with me. )
Post # 3
I had the same dilemma. I too opted for the hyphen. We were married back in September and I still haven’t changed it! (I blamed it on having to do the taxes and not wanting a mix up with my W2, but it’s also because I’m reluctant).
It’s going to be really long- both our last names have 8 letters. Professionally I still want to go by my maiden name, but socially I’m fine with using his.
For me the decision really came down to having kids. We couldn’t hyphenate their last name because it would be too long (I had enough trouble trying to learn to spell my own 8 letter last name in kindergarten). So I didn’t want to be the only person in my household with a different last name.
I’m still not sure when I’ll actually change it- or if I will at all. I guess the decision will really have to be made if/when we have kids.
Post # 4
I have a related problem in that my FI has a hyphenated name. Hyphenation seems to be one of those strategies that works really well for one generation and then gets enormously complicated for the next one. I am currently leaning toward keeping my last name, mostly because I’ve been publishing under it for years. But I’m also resistant to taking his last name because then I’m adopting his parents’ names – there would be none of me or my parents in that name.
My FI suggested that I take his last name as my middle name, since I don’t have a middle name. Then I keep my last name. That seems like a pretty good compromise, but then what do we do when we have kids? Are they going to have last names that reflect only their paternal grandparents and nothing from their maternal side? Dilemmas, dilemmas!
Post # 5
I’m hypenated but our kids will have only his last name. I retain my identity but things don’t get complicatd down the line. If you wanted your kids to have your name too, give it to them as their middle name or something. People do address me by my hyphenated name. If they don’t, I correct them.
Post # 6
im in a similar boat. our wedding is a month away and im torn. my last name is 4 simple letters and very common – meaning people never have a hard time pronouncing or spelling it (and with a complicated first name, that’s a nice balance). his last name is 9 complicated letters, hard to pronounce, and hard to spell (we’ve been together 6 years and i STILL spell it in my head when i write it!). i like my easy last name, but when we have kids i want us all to have the same last name. plus, i really like my middle name and the thought of essentially replacing it with my maiden name makes me sad…
im thinking about doing MaidenMiddle and HisLast professionally and HisLast socially, and naming our first daughter after my middle name to keep it alive!
Post # 7
I’ve always had a hyphenated last name – my mom didn’t change her last name when she got married, so my sisters and I got both.
It is a HUGE PAIN. It is impossible to fit my name on any official paperwork, and people are always getting it wrong and giving me confused stares when I try to explain that my last name has two parts. I even had someone in the Walgreens pharmacy argue with me that the first part of my last name had to be my first name, lol.
I would avoid hyphenating your last name if at all possible. I can’t wait to change mine! And definitely don’t pass it on to your future kids! A name is just a name. If you want to keep your last name, keep it. It won’t make you any less married 🙂
Post # 8
I have been curious abou this as well. I plan on hyphenating my name (see my screen name) only because his last name is Smith and I just don’t see myself as Firstname Smith. Also, I really love my last name, its unique, short and easy to say and it doesn’t sound that weird with Smith. I am keeping my name for me only, if someone calls me Mrs. Smith, I don’t think I will be offended. Our children will just be Smiths.